This is the first of the many of my coffeed-brain rambling about stuffs.
If I could metaphorically explain my relationship with coffee, it would be Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. It started in a very young age, on and off, we make up we break up, and some of the break ups are not pretty. But however, just like Selena and Justin, we are currently getting back together.
To be fair, whenever I break up with coffee, it’s never its fault, it’s always me. Indeed, for my case, “it’s not you, it’s me” excuse is genuine.
Coffee only does good thing to me, in fact I really think coffee is the only reason why I could be such an interesting person, pretty shameless to call yourself interesting but well… Because I started drinking coffee from a very young age, I didn’t remember how I was before coffee invasion, maybe I was boring and dull, I don’t know.
It was because I needed to watch football at 2-3 am in the morning and went to school at 7 am in the morning, I had to drink coffee, it is known to wake you up. But after so many years living with coffee, I don’t think coffee wakes you up physically, it only wakes your brain, but not your body, thus some people experience coffee crash, where they feel so tired, but can’t sleep.
Everytime I drink coffee, I become interesting, I can tell stories very well, I am animated and I become super smart. I’m serious. I think I am pretty smart in general, but when I drink coffee, my brain turns into baby brain, that can absorb things so quickly, I could maybe even fly a plane! The last one is a joke, but I hope you get what I mean.
So I abused coffee, whenever I wanted to write stories, I drank coffee; whenever I wanted to create something, I drank coffee; painted, drank coffee, hung out with friend, drank coffee; watched football, drank coffee; had arguments with Bandi, drank coffee. I drank coffee pretty much the whole life until… my gastric acid said to stop. Or I just got old, I don’t know. I then spent some time away from coffee and went through a gastric medication for a while. Whenever I felt better, I started to go back to coffee again, just like an addict. Then my stomach hurt again and I suffered the whole night and then I quit again. There was even one point when coffee gave me allergy, because it heat up my body and I’m allergic to heat. The relationship was unhealthy at that point of time; on and off and on and off, and I was tired.
I know, it was not the coffee that gave me a super power to be smart, it was the caffeine. So, I came to look for a healthier option to be caffeinated. I was in South Korea when I fell in love with green tea, so I started to forget about coffee and drank tea daily to fill in the void of my soul. Tea doesn’t have as much caffeine as coffee (come on, even the name caffeine is pretty much taken from caffe, which means coffee – not sure about this, let’s google later) so I had to drink so much tea in order to keep the brain cells jumping. Some days I even drank more tea than water in a day, I’m serious. But the good thing is, tea doesn’t give me gastric.
So, I was coffee-free for about 5 months, and I thought I could finally sing Taylor Swift’s song “we are never ever ever getting back together!”
But then I started my new job 3 weeks ago, and this job requires more brain cells than I could ever afford with only tea! I knew it that I had to take my super power in order not to only survive, but to over-achieve. Yeah you guess it right, I crawled my ass back to coffee’s warm and fuzzy love. Baby, let’s have a one night stand, I thought.
I promised myself, only for the first week, because I needed to absorb all the knowledge, then I would switch back to tea again.
Now, it’s my fourth week in, and guess what? I’m writing this under coffee influence.
Coffee is just so good, it makes me feel invincible, it makes me so smart, so interesting, so fun! When I scroll back to my blog posts, I could literally tell which was written under coffee influence, which was not; and if you meet me in person, you could tell whether I had coffee for the day or not.
One day, I was in the airport alone, waiting for my flight while sipping iced latte and I thought, this brain works like maniac whenever I have coffee, I wish I could document what it thinks of, what it wants to say! I boarded my plane and during take-off, le brain kept talking non-stop to me, and I reminisced my teenage days when I drank coffee and started to day-dream like a crack head. I imagined the unthinkable, I dreamt the highest and I created so many scenarios in my head of how my life would turn out. Coffee helped me to where I am today, a place where I feel content, happy and safe.
Maybe our relationship could evolve from the chaotic dependency, to be matured and respectful. It will always be there when I need but I can learn to love myself more even without it. So I hope this is how Justin and Selena turn out to be as well.
PS: This series is inspired by Domics, my current favourite youtuber, but unlike him, I can’t make animated video, thus, only the story. :)