Ten amazingly stupid reasons to get married

Yesterday I saw a very shocking photo on my facebook. A single acquaintance of mine got married. Huh? What?

Yeah. The last time I met her (not that long seriously) she was still babbling about how she is happily single. Somehow she decided to take a leap of faith stupidity that decided to get married faster than I even decide which dress to wear for Christmas dinner.

I know, I know, Strawberry has preached me thousand times about how people are happy with different things and not everyone perceive marriage like I do blah blah blah, BUT THIS DESERVE A BITCHING TIME.

I never understand why people got married with so FREAKINGLY stupid reason but Strawberry always told me that they have different value and I must accept the fact that some women are dreaming to get married, thus their achievement is to be married and be a wife. FULL STOP. Do I condemn a housewife? NO!!! I adore housewife who can juggle all the works in house and also take care of the kids. But you don’t marry the first guy who arrive at your doorstep, geez. You don’t pick a creepy guy from the street to be your husband, right? You get to know him, you fall in love, you commit, have a fight and then make up and then fall in love again and then get married.

You need LOVE to be married. And I don’t believe that people who just met three months ago could love each other unconditionally. Yes, you can count the SWOT analysis, you can study his/her family tree, bank account and assets, but you can’t test his/her love.

I am judgmental? No. I am an idealist.

So, let me list down the stupidest 10 reason to marry someone: (in randomly order)

1. Because he’s hot/rich/insert as you like

Do I have to explain this?

2. Because according to my parents/grandparents/insert as you like this is the proper time to get married.

(Other wise i have to wait another 3 years/4 yrs/insert as you like)

Yeah, I know someone who do that. You’re not ready yet but according to your grandparents, this year is a good year to get married. What rubbish.

3. Because I am old/my boyfriend is old

Because if you turn 35 years old and you haven’t married, you will die, right? That’s why you use this reason, right?

4. Because we’ve been together for so long.

LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP doesn’t validate any marriage. You think you know someone and you don’t want to waste any more time so you just get along with it. It’s not right. Remember that he might be the right person to marry, but do it with the right reason too, ok? =)

5. Because I am lonely

Get a cat! Or an inflatable dolls! Not a husband/wife!!!

6. To legalize sex.

THE WORST OF ALL. So you can’t handle the hormones, so you want to bang your gf/bf, then just do it! (with protection of course) Do you really have to get married to have sex? And then you know that you’re married and the worst thing happen, she’s pregnant and you don’t have a proper foundation and the kid is the victim of dysfunctional family.

Here’s the thing, if you want to stay virgin until you’re married, make sure your soul stays virgin too. Honor your commitment. But if you can’t, then don’t be a hypocrite. Don’t use marriage as an excuse for having sex.

7. Because I’m in a relationship and the next step is marriage

I think this reason is almost the same with no.4 so I won’t talk about it again.

8. Because it is bad luck to refuse a proposal from a guy.

This is true story. I have a friend who gave me a surprise by telling me she’s getting married with a man who hasn’t even been together with her for a year. I asked why, she answered because he wanted to get married and it’s bad luck to reject. Did he even buy a ring? Come on, any ring! Did he even made a romantic gesture asking you to marry him? NO!!! He just asked and she accepted because….

“My mom said it’s bad luck (pamali) to reject when a guy asked you to get married. If we reject, there would be nobody ever wanted to marry me.”

And people….. She’s pretty.

I bet million dollars that so many guys want to marry her. Sadly, pretty face is useless without a good brain.

9. Because my dying grandparents requested.

I’m sorry, this might be a sensitive issue. Because Bandi was bummed so badly when his grandma died and she kept asking Bandi to get married and he refused and when his grandma died, his family implicitly blamed him not to get married earlier.
WHAT THE FUCK. He was depressed for quite some time and bought me a ring. That was the rejection. Because I knew it is NOT the right time. And the right time will come.

10. Because I’m miserable and I want to be happy.

So you think marriage is rainbow and unicorn? Huh? So your happiness depends on other human being? OH MAN You’re so SCREWED!

Hey May, why don’t you mind your own business and stop bitching about marriage?

Well, I’m gonna tell you why. My mom and dad married with the wrong reason and look how I turned out? I’m technically crazy.

You have no idea what I had gone through in my childhood. I don’t say my parents are bad parents but they are certainly not working well together.

It is a miracle that universe sent me Bandi and I managed to want to get married. (Bcoz oh GOD I didn’t want it. The only marriage I know is horrible) But seriously, it is fine to get married with the wrong reasons as long as you don’t involve children. But when you has children and you two didn’t even synchronized as team work, would it be sad for the kids? :(

I’m a living proof, my friend. And trust me, you don’t want ME as your kid. :p

Please do think 1000 times before you get married. You have to be 100% sure that you WILL NEVER LOOK BACK. That this is what you want. And that person you’re marrying can give you security, safety, comfort and infinite love.

You trust that person with your heart, no terms and conditions.

And most importantly, you love that person passionately, wisely and unconditionally.

Cheers,

May, your favorite bitch.

You shouldn’t get married!!!

I know, as someone who doesn’t believe marriage, I talk about marriage a waaayyy too much, but whatever, this is my blog. :D

Two days ago, one of my best friends called me in the middle of the night and mumbled in her crying, “I broke up.” And after long conversation about how she wasn’t supposed to be with him at the first place, she yelled at me, “Gosh! Everyone said that! And why didn’t everyone tell mew long time ago?”
“Coz you were still with him. And it’s not appropriate.”
“But friends should tell everything.”
“Nope, friends tell you what you want to hear. Friends support you even it was impossible thing to do. Friends always believe in you. And we somehow wished that we could believe you.”
I knew that she was a lucky girl who happened to be brave enough to cut off her relationship even though everyone said “Your boyfriend is so nice. He’s a good guy, etc, etc…” I understand that we don’t love somebody because they’re nice or good. We love somebody despite of!
So, that call reminds me of the book/movie “He’s just not that into you!” which show how naïve women are, and we really should change, girls!!
It’s time for tough love!

You shouldn’t get married, if these words ever occurred to your mind at least twice:

  1. Does he really love me? If he really loves you sincerely, you won’t ever question him or his love. Trust me. I’m very sure about that.
  2. We’ve already been in this relationship for too long. I’m too lazy to start over a new relationship.
    Being in a long-term relationship doesn’t mean you have to stay in it even though you knew you didn’t love him anymore. You’ve tried so hard to make yourself fall in love with him again, but you keep failing, but you deny it to leave your comfort zone. If it wasn’t working then, and it’s not working now, then it will NEVER work. Leave your comfort zone (relationship) for good.
  3. Will he ever cheat again? (If your boyfriend ever cheated.)
    If you’re living with a paranoid mind that he will cheat again if you didn’t call him 24/7 or be with him 24/7, then you’ll live with it for the rest of your life. You’ll always be nauseous every time he goes with his friends or meet new clients, and girls, it’s not healthy at all. And the more you imagine it, the real it’s gonna be. Shame on him if he fools you once, shame on you if he fools you twice! So, if you think that you won’t ever trust him again, leave him.
  4. Everyone would be so jealous to know I marry a rich/handsome guy!
    Get real, He won’t always be rich and he won’t always be handsome. But YOU could be always smart! So, start being smart now by leaving him.
  5. I know that he would change when we get married.
    Whatever he does, is it hitting, abusing, cheating, lying, possessive, and other things he said he would change.
    No, he won’t! And you will say “I married with the wrong reason” some years from now if you’re still marrying him for that reason.
  6. I’m old. I have too tie the knot soon. Then you will grab anybody who’s also looking for marriage and get married and later you will keep questioning, “Why did I get  married?”

I know this kind of marriage work for some people, but I think 99% of them just keeping their marriage for their comfort zone, coz a kind of people who married with this reason, also kept the marriage with the same reason, “I don’t wanna be a widow when I’m this old”.

And 1% of them are just gorgeously lucky to find a true love in this way. :)

So far, those are what I have in mind. Feel free to comment, and if you think to add the list, just spit it out. :)

I will add some other too later, but now I’m hungry and my niece waits for me. :)

May