Ten amazingly stupid reasons to get married

Yesterday I saw a very shocking photo on my facebook. A single acquaintance of mine got married. Huh? What?

Yeah. The last time I met her (not that long seriously) she was still babbling about how she is happily single. Somehow she decided to take a leap of faith stupidity that decided to get married faster than I even decide which dress to wear for Christmas dinner.

I know, I know, Strawberry has preached me thousand times about how people are happy with different things and not everyone perceive marriage like I do blah blah blah, BUT THIS DESERVE A BITCHING TIME.

I never understand why people got married with so FREAKINGLY stupid reason but Strawberry always told me that they have different value and I must accept the fact that some women are dreaming to get married, thus their achievement is to be married and be a wife. FULL STOP. Do I condemn a housewife? NO!!! I adore housewife who can juggle all the works in house and also take care of the kids. But you don’t marry the first guy who arrive at your doorstep, geez. You don’t pick a creepy guy from the street to be your husband, right? You get to know him, you fall in love, you commit, have a fight and then make up and then fall in love again and then get married.

You need LOVE to be married. And I don’t believe that people who just met three months ago could love each other unconditionally. Yes, you can count the SWOT analysis, you can study his/her family tree, bank account and assets, but you can’t test his/her love.

I am judgmental? No. I am an idealist.

So, let me list down the stupidest 10 reason to marry someone: (in randomly order)

1. Because he’s hot/rich/insert as you like

Do I have to explain this?

2. Because according to my parents/grandparents/insert as you like this is the proper time to get married.

(Other wise i have to wait another 3 years/4 yrs/insert as you like)

Yeah, I know someone who do that. You’re not ready yet but according to your grandparents, this year is a good year to get married. What rubbish.

3. Because I am old/my boyfriend is old

Because if you turn 35 years old and you haven’t married, you will die, right? That’s why you use this reason, right?

4. Because we’ve been together for so long.

LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP doesn’t validate any marriage. You think you know someone and you don’t want to waste any more time so you just get along with it. It’s not right. Remember that he might be the right person to marry, but do it with the right reason too, ok? =)

5. Because I am lonely

Get a cat! Or an inflatable dolls! Not a husband/wife!!!

6. To legalize sex.

THE WORST OF ALL. So you can’t handle the hormones, so you want to bang your gf/bf, then just do it! (with protection of course) Do you really have to get married to have sex? And then you know that you’re married and the worst thing happen, she’s pregnant and you don’t have a proper foundation and the kid is the victim of dysfunctional family.

Here’s the thing, if you want to stay virgin until you’re married, make sure your soul stays virgin too. Honor your commitment. But if you can’t, then don’t be a hypocrite. Don’t use marriage as an excuse for having sex.

7. Because I’m in a relationship and the next step is marriage

I think this reason is almost the same with no.4 so I won’t talk about it again.

8. Because it is bad luck to refuse a proposal from a guy.

This is true story. I have a friend who gave me a surprise by telling me she’s getting married with a man who hasn’t even been together with her for a year. I asked why, she answered because he wanted to get married and it’s bad luck to reject. Did he even buy a ring? Come on, any ring! Did he even made a romantic gesture asking you to marry him? NO!!! He just asked and she accepted because….

“My mom said it’s bad luck (pamali) to reject when a guy asked you to get married. If we reject, there would be nobody ever wanted to marry me.”

And people….. She’s pretty.

I bet million dollars that so many guys want to marry her. Sadly, pretty face is useless without a good brain.

9. Because my dying grandparents requested.

I’m sorry, this might be a sensitive issue. Because Bandi was bummed so badly when his grandma died and she kept asking Bandi to get married and he refused and when his grandma died, his family implicitly blamed him not to get married earlier.
WHAT THE FUCK. He was depressed for quite some time and bought me a ring. That was the rejection. Because I knew it is NOT the right time. And the right time will come.

10. Because I’m miserable and I want to be happy.

So you think marriage is rainbow and unicorn? Huh? So your happiness depends on other human being? OH MAN You’re so SCREWED!

Hey May, why don’t you mind your own business and stop bitching about marriage?

Well, I’m gonna tell you why. My mom and dad married with the wrong reason and look how I turned out? I’m technically crazy.

You have no idea what I had gone through in my childhood. I don’t say my parents are bad parents but they are certainly not working well together.

It is a miracle that universe sent me Bandi and I managed to want to get married. (Bcoz oh GOD I didn’t want it. The only marriage I know is horrible) But seriously, it is fine to get married with the wrong reasons as long as you don’t involve children. But when you has children and you two didn’t even synchronized as team work, would it be sad for the kids? :(

I’m a living proof, my friend. And trust me, you don’t want ME as your kid. :p

Please do think 1000 times before you get married. You have to be 100% sure that you WILL NEVER LOOK BACK. That this is what you want. And that person you’re marrying can give you security, safety, comfort and infinite love.

You trust that person with your heart, no terms and conditions.

And most importantly, you love that person passionately, wisely and unconditionally.

Cheers,

May, your favorite bitch.

A letter to the pessimists

I got some of the pessimistic comments for my engagement, mostly they sound like this “eh, I thought you didn’t believe in marriage?”

Well I didn’t.

I know I shouldn’t been bothered but I am a human thus I have a need to defend myself (and also the need to once again blabber about marriage), so here it goes…

Up until this second, I still do believe that marriage is not an achievement. A wedding is a start of something big called the marriage. And it’s not a solution for all your problems people. There are two reasons why I didn’t believe in marriage.

One, people took marriage for granted, using it for the wrong reason with the wrong people. The marriage itself became some kind of dirty business for me.

Two, there are no successful marriage in my inner circle. I have never witnessed a successful marriage. That’s why I was pessimistic too.

I hate it when people decided to get married for the wrong reasons, to top of them is “because I’m getting older.” Once my friend told me she was getting married and my reply was “are you sure?” She was mad of course, and to boost my ego, let me tell you this: she DID call off the wedding. Why? Because I knew it at the moment that she said yes because she wanted the attention and she liked to idea of becoming someone’s wife but she WASN’T in love.

Okay, go back to my case. A lot of my friends said “finally!!!” And the others asked “how did you finally say yes?” (This also explained why I had to charge my phone three times on last sunday)

Why did I, the unbeliever, finally said yes for a marriage?

I was simply convinced.

(So if you happen to really want to marry somebody and she said she didn’t believe in it, you’re not trying hard enough.)

I wasn’t looking for a relationship when I was dating Bandi. It was just a casual flirt and I enjoyed the attention, so when he asked me to be his girlfriend, I warned him, “oh dear, I’m not a commitment kind of girl.” And he said “it’s okay. It’s not something serious. We’re just getting to know each other as boyfriend and girlfriend.” So the ‘not something serious’ led to a seven years relationship. LOL

I also thought that I will be a serial dater for the rest of my life, because seriously, I am that selfish. I don’t think anyone could take it to live with me for the rest of his life. Come on, I can’t even live with my mom! I am super selfish and I have OCD, I want things to be my way and I always think that I am right. I knew Bandi was messy and couldn’t care less about hygiene since the first year of relationship but then I don’t care because I knew I won’t marry him.

But then when we started to live together, we spent so much time fighting about stupid stuffs. And oh my god I am so impressed of how hard he was trying to adapt to me. He really tried everything to make sure I’m alright, mentally. (Yeah I got so disturbed over something stupid sometimes.) He did this kind of magic to make me fall in love more and more to him everyday and made me think that I couldn’t live without him. And oh wow, he succeeded!

Bandi himself didn’t have any role-model for a successful marriage. His dad was gone when he was five so he was pretty much a ‘dad’ for his brother and sisters. Thankfully he turned out to be a believer. He wants a marriage, a family with a lot of kids, (Super bummer, look how far he’s convinced me already?) and a smart and pretty wife (well ho got one.) LOL

Actually he has taken the relationship slowly for my expense. I remember he was ambitiously saying that he wanted to be married and had kids by 25. (Haha! Wrong girlfriend, dude!) I must say that this relationship does both of us a favor. For me to learn that I can finally trust someone completely and that true love does exist. For him to wait for the right one (and not just randomly pick any girl to give birth to his babies), learn more about life and of course to be super mega ultra patience.

I really believe that everything happens for reason. :)

So dear pessimists,
I DID not believe in marriage. And I must say this in public that I WAS WRONG.
Not all marriages are scam and dirty and fake. I can make sure at least mine is not. :)

I remember the endless nights of long talks with Bandi, the sweet gestures while we danced, the stolen kisses, the sacrifices, the tears and fears we shared, the infinite laughs that he made me after that and how he always had his ways to take my breath away. I have been always a happy person, but I’ve never felt this content. I am fully content.

I also need to underline this: I am happy not because I’m getting married. I am happy because I get to spend the rest of my life with the one I really love. The wedding is just a bonus.

Actually my perception of marriage doesn’t change a lot, remember this: if you’re not a happy person, don’t ever think about getting married!!!

Don’t hope for some dude to save you from all your troubles and think that marriage (or wedding) would give you happiness, because it won’t!!!

YOU HAVE TO BE A HAPPY WOMAN TO HAVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE. (not the other way around!)

Don’t get married to be happy, but get married because you’re happy. So you know you have someone to share your happiness with forever. :)

Remember your man is not your accessory whom with him you feel socially completed and obligation checked. You don’t need to prove to anyone that you can have a man.

Oh please just make sure that you get married because you love each other, please please, pleaaaaaseee!

57040

Cheers,

May, still staring at the ring. :p

Blabbering about wedding, Disney’s princes, Euro Cup final, and a chance of getting knocked up.

This is a blabbering post. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn ya!

So yesterday I tweeted that it’s been 6 years and 6 months together with Bandi. Apparently some people found it weird that I don’t do anything about it. They expected me to plan my wedding by this time of relationship and again, “in this crucial age” of a woman, of all the “We, women must have kids before 30 blah blah blah”.

Apparently readiness of having a kid is not the first priority. They were so scared that having a kid after 30 years old will turn the kid to be autistic. Well people, I tell you something. I also don’t want to have an autistic kid. I wish my kid to be healthy mentally and physically. Universe is so kind to me, I believe I will have the best kid possible. But people, do you prefer to become a parent when you are not ready to pass down value, when you don’t even know what’s your purpose of life, when you’re still as selfish as Kim Kardashian? NO! Your kid will turn out to have mental problem, a lot of psychological disorders and maybe, *knock on wood* will be a teenage slut because apparently she doesn’t get attention from her parent. WHAT JUDGES THAT IS BETTER THAN AUTISTIC?

When I was a teacher, I taught autistic kids. They are difficult. I know. But they will be easier when the parents are willing to communicate and cooperate with us, the teachers, than those normal kids who like to talk bad words and push other kids to bleeding (who are ALWAYS the ones having dysfunctional parents).

I’m not a parent, who am I talking about dysfunctional parents? I don’t know how hard it is to be parents. BUT I WOULD LOVE TO BECOME A PARENT SOMEDAY. A GOOD ONE.

Not when my age hitting 29, but when I am ready. If I turned out to be ready before 30, then it is a bonus. If I got knocked up before 30, then it’s a luck for Bandi. (LOL. Ignore the last sentence)

Ok, let’s go back to the main idea of this post (the ones typed in black font).

Then people frowned upon my travel guts. That I’m willing to save money to travel but I’m no at all closer to wedding. I know what makes me happy, and if it’s not a wedding and a house, does that make me a social criminal?

(AGAIN, I would love to get married (chillax Bandi!)) I am not resenting wedding. NO, that’s not true. I love weddings. It’s just that it’s not my priority now. It’s like I want Macbook and travel to India. Then I prioritize India first before buying a Macbook. So, after I travel to India, then I will think to buy the Macbook again. But right now, I don’t want to buy the Macbook because my mind is filled with India. GOT IT?

Then again, what’s with the “Oh Poor Bandi, he had been waiting for May to be ready for too long…” WTF, people? Bandi is not waiting for me to get married. Remember the Italy vs Spain EURO CUP FINAL?

The Italy vs Spain EURO CUP FINAL side story

Bandi and I are tifosi numero uno of Italy National Team. We have different team on the Serie-A though. He’s worshiping Juventus while I’m forever with Parma. But when it comes to national team, we pour our heart out for Azzurri. In 2006, when we first got together, Italy won the World Cup. We were so happy we thought we are meant to be together forever, but everything went down hill ever since. Italy performed worse and worse. EURO CUP 2012 is a shock, including Balotelli’s performance. AND THEY WENT TO SEMI FINAL!!! We were so surprised, in a good way though. We never expected them to go this far.

Then Bandi said, “If they won the Euro Cup, We’ll get married the next weekend.” And I said yes.

Italy went to FINAL FOR GOD’S SAKE! They freaking defeated Germany!! Then I prepared myself to write a simple guest list, and to buy a cheap simple white dress. I was thinking to buy 7 stalks of Lilies for my hand bouquet and picked the church across our flat for the simple ceremony. I told Bandi that any rings will do.

It’s good to know that getting married in Singapore is damn easy! Government dying to have the citizens to be married and producing babies, thus getting married here is a piece of cake. I just need to bring 2 witnesses and then sign the paper.

But then, I’m ringless now. All because of that too-good-Spain national team!!!

My point is… I’m a girl who lives with impulse dramatic moments. I know I will marry Bandi eventually. (Come on, what’s about him not adorable?) but I just have to wait for the moment to happen. That moment of “This is it. Let’s do it.” People may not understand what I mean because wedding should be planned right?

But I know what I want. Again, I’m a person who really knows what I want. And for now, I don’t want wedding. I want to travel the world. And that’s not a sin. That doesn’t make people right to perceive me as immature and irresponsible. I’m just getting what I want, like all of those women looking for any guys to grab as long as they can get married.

Oh yeah about that, what’s wrong with that women? It’s really pissing me off!!!

Nowadays, with the ticking clock, women would grab any men they saw and got married. Just because they needed to be impregnated. THAT IS SO STUPID OH MY GOD I WANNA SHOT MYSELF.

Try falling in love, ladies. It’s worth the wait.

4151332269_554c6d57fb be patient good things come to those who wait by Mykl Roventine at flickr

Let me tell you about my Shoe Philosophy.

A woman going shopping, she finds a nice wedges shoe. She tries it on. Oh, too big, there are no other numbers left. She puts it back and walks to another store. Wow, a very striking red stiletto.  She tries it on and it’s too small. She thinks, “I can live with it. I probably won’t find any shoe better than this.” So she buys it! And she lives with that painful foot all of her life.

If only she could be patience and walked to another store, she probably would find a fit winter boots that would be very comfortable for her.

Of course you can’t compare men and shoes. You can always throw away the stiletto and buy a new one. But this is just a way to perceive relationship. Usually the shoes that are being forced into your feet will hurt you, even though it looks good on the outside, you’re dying on the inside.

Don’t just grab the stilettos nearest to you, walk around and find the perfect one. It’s worth the wait and worth the effort. I believe that there is one perfect person custom made by god for anyone. I never doubt this, because I have found mine. And it feels soooo good in every way. And if only everyone wanted to wait to find the perfect ones, there will be no war.

I hate when women give excuses like, “All men are jerks”, “I’m on my thirties, it’s easy for you to say that coz you’re young!” or “I have already waited for too long.”

BULLSHIT. You’re just too lazy or too scared or too self-centered or too pessimistic. (Oh I have pessimistic people, they are the worst!)

Women can not always blame men when the relationship ends. Even if your men cheat on you, you must have blamed your judgement by choosing him at the first place.

Don’t swear on me for having a lucky life. I PERCEIVED MY LIFE AS LUCKY, THUS I BECOME LUCKY.

I was growing up in a very suicidal family, I wished everyday for my parents to be divorced, but they had worse, they must live with each other and tried not to kill each other everyday. I was always depressed about it back then, but now I laugh on it, sometimes I joked about it with my sister.

I blamed my parents for my skeptical perception of love and marriages, for my mental disorders and my suicidal attempts. I blamed my brother for taking all the attentions from me, for going to jail so I had to work my ass off for money so he won’t be killed by the other prisoners, for all the hatred I had created for myself, for my parents and for society. I cursed my friend for having a good parent, for having a caring brother and flawless skin. I was one hell of angry person. (I am still anyway. (LOL)) I closed my heart so tightly I was afraid a simple shake would kill me.

But then I met Bandi, and everytime I rest my head wrapped around Bandi’s arms, all the hatreds magically dissolve to be love, the world stops turning and it’s only me and him. It’s a very wonderful feeling and it’s true that they said Love Conquers All. It really does. It conquers all the differences, the fights about who should compromise to whom, the debate of whether Jesus Christ is just a really cool guy but not a messiah, a screaming over a smelly sock, a headache of managing our money, the lost house keys, or should we watch Juventus or Parma’s game or which cities should we visit first.

What I was trying to say is… Falling in love like in the Disney’s movie is real. The prince might not be riding the white horse, but he could still treat you just the same like the real prince.

And that being married doesn’t necessarily equal to being happy. This is the correct equation:

Equotation

So if that guy makes you happy, then get married, make babies, repopulate the earth, I will be so excited to attend your wedding. But if he still treats you like shit and you’re still marrying him, then shame on you, woman! Shame on you!

I guess this is the end of my blabbering today.

Be happy people! Life is too short to be grumpy!

Cheers,

May.

The Vision and The Expectation

I received this message this morning:

He cancelled his wedding.

Well, it’s not the first time I receive an ‘exciting’ news about wedding cancellation. Nowadays people just don’t perceive marriage like they used to. Marriage and wedding are no more scared, no more personal, becoming shallow and cheap. It’s a sad truth.

I understand being 26 years old and unmarried in Asia could be depressing when all your peers keep posting photos of their babies in facebook. Peer pressured might be the primary reason why people got married out of rush. They get married because other people do that. So they follow.

The ones who cancel their wedding, I consider as the lucky ones. Because they were brave enough to cancel. But hey, that doesn’t mean you’re not wrong! YOU ARE WRONG! If you weren’t ready or you weren’t sure, why did you say yes at the first place? Don’t talk trash about how the diamond rings were sparkling or the moment was right. Fuck it! Just admit that you were WRONG.

So my bestfriend whastapp-ed me this morning, talking about this ‘big’ news, how on earth somebody cancel their wedding? In this case, the reason was “She’s not ready.” Well, I might said it before girl, but if you weren’t ready why did you say yes FOR GOD’S SAKE?

Then it got us to a long conversation that lasted the whole lunch,

Then, how would we know we are ready for a marriage?

Sure, wedding would be fun. All the free drinks, white pretty dress, and all the attention to you would be a great reward for a woman. But wedding wasn’t just a one night thing, it lasted your whole life!

My bestfriend and I share the same feeling about our parents’ marriage. Their marriages failed. And we found out why.

So, basically, we both compare two guys, which I would call as a candidate.

Candidate A is the guy that you could hang out as friend, having fun with and of course a very nice guy. Let’s call him “Nice Guy With him, you could create a perfect future. He likely to put your name in his imaginary future. Thus, he is your vision.

Candidate B is the guy that you wanted passionately, comes and goes to your life, and of course the jerk who we’re deeply falling in love with. Let’s call him “The Jerk”. With him, you have a bunch of expectation, and the imagination to achieve those expectations keep you going with him. Because the feeling of achieving something is good, but the fact is you haven’t had achieved it. Thus, he is still ONLY your expectation.

So, when we are facing options with this two guys, we would choose The Jerk over Nice Guy. Why? Because women are idiot. We make decisions based on feeling. AND FEELING IS A BAD GUY!

So, we decided to be with The Jerk and we keep putting our expectation that someday he would change for me. This expectation is a time bomb. Because guess what? He will never change. And the expectation would never be achieved and what’s left is disappointment.

Starting a marriage with expectation is WRONG. You suppose to start it with vision. And only with the Nice Guy you could share this vision. Get it? So 10 years from now, you are divorced with 2 kids and 1 big disappointment. You look back and see this before your eyes:

Nice Guy = Vision / The Jerk = failed expectation.”

My bestfriend and I see this in our parent. The failed expectations. And that is so unhealthy.

It’s just our simple theory about failed marriage. How would we know, we are never married. But we have this big hope that our marriage won’t be like our parents. We are trying everything we could so we would marry the right guy, with the right reason.

We are 26 years old. Unmarried. Not even plan to. So I can’t make sure the theory is correct.

You see, I receive news of cancelled wedding and even one news of not-even-one-year-anniversary-marriage’s divorce and that made me think… a lot.

I don’t want to get married just because I have been in this relationship for so long, just because thousand of people have been asking ‘when’, just because his mom, his grandmom, and his uncles said so, just because he proposed, just because wedding seems pretty.

I want to get married when I want every morning of my life feeling “Being Mrs. Cahaya is what I want for the rest of my life.” Sounds a little inception, huh? But it’s true. I will get married when I want it just right.

I might still will be unmarried when your kids go to primary school. I might still don’t want it. But life is only once, and I want to do this right, my way.

Me and him might walk so slow in our relationship, but as Confucius said, it doesn’t matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop. We don’t stop, we’re just walking slow. And we’re enjoying every steps.

I hope people ‘walk’ more slowly and enjoy the scenery. Don’t rush on something. Take your time for every thing. Who would have thought you’ll find a coin on the floor? =)

Cheers,

May

P.S I wrote about marriage before. In here. And in here.

P.P.S. Hey you, if you read this, please bear with me. Some people might be fast learner. But I’m slow in this thing. I want you. Just you. I know you want marriage. Me too. Just be patience with me.

You shouldn’t get married!!!

I know, as someone who doesn’t believe marriage, I talk about marriage a waaayyy too much, but whatever, this is my blog. :D

Two days ago, one of my best friends called me in the middle of the night and mumbled in her crying, “I broke up.” And after long conversation about how she wasn’t supposed to be with him at the first place, she yelled at me, “Gosh! Everyone said that! And why didn’t everyone tell mew long time ago?”
“Coz you were still with him. And it’s not appropriate.”
“But friends should tell everything.”
“Nope, friends tell you what you want to hear. Friends support you even it was impossible thing to do. Friends always believe in you. And we somehow wished that we could believe you.”
I knew that she was a lucky girl who happened to be brave enough to cut off her relationship even though everyone said “Your boyfriend is so nice. He’s a good guy, etc, etc…” I understand that we don’t love somebody because they’re nice or good. We love somebody despite of!
So, that call reminds me of the book/movie “He’s just not that into you!” which show how naïve women are, and we really should change, girls!!
It’s time for tough love!

You shouldn’t get married, if these words ever occurred to your mind at least twice:

  1. Does he really love me? If he really loves you sincerely, you won’t ever question him or his love. Trust me. I’m very sure about that.
  2. We’ve already been in this relationship for too long. I’m too lazy to start over a new relationship.
    Being in a long-term relationship doesn’t mean you have to stay in it even though you knew you didn’t love him anymore. You’ve tried so hard to make yourself fall in love with him again, but you keep failing, but you deny it to leave your comfort zone. If it wasn’t working then, and it’s not working now, then it will NEVER work. Leave your comfort zone (relationship) for good.
  3. Will he ever cheat again? (If your boyfriend ever cheated.)
    If you’re living with a paranoid mind that he will cheat again if you didn’t call him 24/7 or be with him 24/7, then you’ll live with it for the rest of your life. You’ll always be nauseous every time he goes with his friends or meet new clients, and girls, it’s not healthy at all. And the more you imagine it, the real it’s gonna be. Shame on him if he fools you once, shame on you if he fools you twice! So, if you think that you won’t ever trust him again, leave him.
  4. Everyone would be so jealous to know I marry a rich/handsome guy!
    Get real, He won’t always be rich and he won’t always be handsome. But YOU could be always smart! So, start being smart now by leaving him.
  5. I know that he would change when we get married.
    Whatever he does, is it hitting, abusing, cheating, lying, possessive, and other things he said he would change.
    No, he won’t! And you will say “I married with the wrong reason” some years from now if you’re still marrying him for that reason.
  6. I’m old. I have too tie the knot soon. Then you will grab anybody who’s also looking for marriage and get married and later you will keep questioning, “Why did I get  married?”

I know this kind of marriage work for some people, but I think 99% of them just keeping their marriage for their comfort zone, coz a kind of people who married with this reason, also kept the marriage with the same reason, “I don’t wanna be a widow when I’m this old”.

And 1% of them are just gorgeously lucky to find a true love in this way. :)

So far, those are what I have in mind. Feel free to comment, and if you think to add the list, just spit it out. :)

I will add some other too later, but now I’m hungry and my niece waits for me. :)

May

Maybe this is why people got married.

Long time back then… I never wanted to get married, til some months ago, I still didn’t want it, surely.

The reasons are common. I watched failure marriage, and later on in my teenage years, boys were jerks. So, I just couldn’t imagine to live together with somebody for the rest of my life.

I fell in love, you guys know with whom, and I still thought falling in love doesn’t mean getting married. And I watched Oprah show. Janet Jackson was in there, they had talk about her new film, “Why did I get married?”

She said, she thought she could “change him” (Chico Debarge). And it was a wrong reason to get married. And she didn’t tell, if it was wrong, then what is right??

So… I kept wondering until it automatically faded away with newer things to think about.

Today, I talked with my boyfriend. I kept saying I’m afraid that I’ll lose seconds and minutes with him for unimportant things. Coz I only have 4 days left with him, and when you know you have limited times, you’ll live to the fullest.

I said, I’m afraid to sleep coz it takes lot of times and i’ll lose so many hours just to see him or touch him, feel him and kiss him. I’m too obssesed with calculating times.

Until he said, you will never ever get enough of us.

Then I realized when I was praying. Yes, I will never get enough of us, of him. Even though I have a full 4×24 hours with him, it won’t be enough.

And it occured to my mind, Maybe this is why people get married. Becoz they never get enough.

Becoz forever is the exact amount of time to spend with somebody you love the most.

And you get married to get law-security so there will be no one to get you separated from each other.

All I know is, living life with him is easy. He makes everything hard become much easier, simpler and more fun. So, I just want to be with him always and always, share every moment with him.

So, maybe I should get married with my own reason. =)

I just want to be with him… for the rest of my life.

And decided to get married can be that simple.

May.