Hey There Little Ms. Drama Queen!

I’ve just realized, it’s been a very long time since I cried.
Where did the little Ms. Drama Queen go? What did I do to her?

She was a fun person. She laughed over a silly and stupid things. She was nice to everyone.

She liked roller-coaster and she somehow played her heart as the funfair. And She REALLY enjoyed it.

She scared easily, she did stupid things she’d regret later.
It took hours to make her stop crying.

She was that little drama queen inside of me who fell in love with a volleyball athlete and had the most 3 romantic days ever, and went alone to Lembang just to cry over a stupid thing.

I miss her.

I know she’s annoying and a little bit too much to take, but she would do anything to make someone happy.

I don’t mean to wake her up now, if she’s actually sleeping there somewhere inside of me. I just want her to know I miss her. I didn’t mean to get rid of her, I just had to do what I had to do. She taught me so many valuable lessons anyway.

See Ya, Little Ms. Drama Queen.
I miss crying to sleep though, which someday I would like to do again. 

All the good lucks in the world

Organized things calm me down….

lined up

lined up

tidy!

tidy!

stacked up!

Colorful things bring the best of me!

flowers make the earth breathe

flowers make the earth breathe

21 Presents

21 Presents

And 7 numbers and Yellow colors are definitely brings me GOOD LUCK!!!

maYELLOW

maYELLOW

I’m catching all the good lucks in the world!!!

I would apply for my dream job, Wish me good luck!!! I mean it!

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – From David Beckham to me

It’s the point of my life when I have finally realized that I have a mental disorder. I still try to be open-minded and accept the fact that everyone might have disorder too.

I always thought I’m a little perfectionist of how I like things to be organized, how I like my facial foam and my shampoo to be really clean, how I wrote almost everything in my journal, and stuffs like that. But when all the obsessions had become more and more disturbing, I know for sure that I have an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

And these are my symptoms:

  • I have the same nightmare about toothache over and over again (could be like 5 times a week).
  • I kept thinking or imagining bad things happen, even though I tried to resist it.
  • I could almost cry when I saw only tiny spot on the inside tab of my facial foam, and thought that somebody used it and then became more and more nervous.
  • When I chatted with my boyfriend, and he misspelled the words, I restart the chat window and got mad because everything is not perfect anymore.
  • I checked my journal like 10 times a day, over and over and over again.
  • I got anxiety when somebody sat on my bed (scared that the pants might be dirty).
  • I knew when somebody moved certain things in my room, and I got very mad.

So I feel pathetic and think it’s very very disturbing now. I always thought having OCD is a good thing, that you can always remember where you put something, that you would always be organized. But it turns out that perfectionist and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder aren’t the same.

“Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is one of the most difficult to understand of all psychiatric illnesses. Persons who have this condition find themselves repeating certain behaviors or thoughts again and again and again and again. They know the repetition is unnecessary, but are unable to stop themselves.”

I’ve googled it and read most of the articles suggest to see psychiatrist, but since it’s expensive, I’ve found the ways to try a self-treatment for OCD:

  1. Relaxation, such as yoga or meditation to reduce stress and tense.
  2. Saturation, “Through saturation, the client is directed to do nothing but think of one obsessional thought which they have complained about. After a period of time of concentration on this one thought (e.g., 10-15 minutes at a time) over a number of days (3-5 days), the obsession can lose some of its strength.”

Somehow I believe that as long as you try something really hard, you’ll get it, so… it’s all about how you see it, it’s really hard to resist about OCD, though. At least I’m very aware that I’m in one.

I have a funny story about OCD, it’s about my friend’s sister who had an OCD about liking things to be organized, especially books. She visited my University’s library one day and it was very big – full of books and very messy. You know what happen to her? She PASSED OUT! :D

One more fun fact about OCD: David Beckham is also having an OCD! Yippi! He said the condition leads him to count clothes and place magazines in straight lines and symmetrical patterns. And he added that one of the reasons why he keeps having tattoos is that he is addicted to the pain of the needle. So, even thought I have a mental disorder, at least the most handsome and sexiest guy has the same one like mine! :P

Yellow was born in May

I wrote blog before, it was http://may-frey.blog.friendster.com/ if you want to visit.
But I decided to start a new blog which I would tell about how adorable and annoying my students are.

Hopefully I will not fall for a PMS era which guide me to the drama queen scene and write it online on my blog. =D

I am a teacher by the way,

(That’s why it’s gonna be about students!)

And I bet you’re gonna enjoy these laughable stories.
I was born to enjoy my job. So you can envy of how lucky I am. *wink*

I am on a long distance relationship, and soon gonna be a VERY long distance relationship.
My other half will move to Texas, USA while I’m in Bandung, Indonesia anyway.
I just know that the ‘yellow’ song was made for me. =)

Now stop starring and enjoy my blog!

May