Why Christmas is so important for a Buddhist like me?

Lately been busy doing stuffs… *ahem* who am I kidding, okay, I admit, this past one month I’ve been busy playing GTA V. Yes, I know as I feminist I should’ve been offended by a misogynistic game like GTA, but oh maaaan the gamer soul inside of me enjoyed it very very much. I have completed GTA V last week and I still love doing the after-main story activities so that’s the main reason why I’ve been so lazy to blog lately.

But after GTA has been completed, I got so busy with my wedding thingy. Arrrghhh doing wedding preparation while you’re on PMS is a bad combination. I cried for such a stupid problems and come to think about it now, I feel embarrassed.

I don’t have any interesting things to talk about but because I have an oath for “post a week”  (thankfully the oath will end on this end of the year so I can write anytime I want again start next year) so I “recycled” one of my favorite post.

Christmas is very near,  so I re-post a Christmas post I’ve written two years ago. I hope it brings smile on your face as it did to mine. =)

I did spend Christmas’ eve with Bandi in the church ever since. =)

Happy Christmas to all! Be merry!

***

23rd december 2011.

I grew up having Christmas in my school every year since I went to Catholic school from… err, basically for the whole of my school year, even my college year. I knew best about the story of how Mary and Joseph couldn’t find a home for a shelter when Mary needed to deliver baby Jesus, I took part of the Christmas show every year when I was in elementary, I forget whom I played as though.

I love going to Catholic Church especially on Christmas’ eve just to listen the carols and feel the holy night atmosphere. Not once, I likely to shed a tear (yes I’m that drama queen.) Thus, I received this question a lot, “If you really love Christmas and Church, and plus your boyfriend is a Catholic, why don’t you convert to one?”

Because I don’t believe in god.

I appreciate people’s relationship with their gods. I appreciate my man’s relationship with god. I love to see him praying. I know he believes in god. He has this close relationship with his god that I could never interfere and will never understand, not because it doesn’t exist, but because I don’t believe in god. But doesn’t mean something doesn’t exist just because you don’t believe in it.

If you believed in something, it is what it is you believe. And if you didn’t believe? It will never be existed in your mind.

For a record, no one believe my LDR will work, but ta-daa, it does!

As Buddha ever said,

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

I believe my relationship with this universe and Buddhist philosophy. I believe I am stronger each day because of yesterday. I believe in love and human’s relationship between each other. I cherish what I could feel, such as joy, contentment and comfort.

Everyone has their own joy, contentment and comfort. Some finds in their gods. And a lot of people believe a lot of gods. Why bother to insist someone to believe your god? It’s like insisting someone who can’t paint to take fine art major.

Christmas is an event. For the Christians, it’s the day when Jesus was born. For me, it’s a memory, of my fun childhood, of the warmth of my tiny school, of having an unforgettable Christmas’ Eve Mass with my man before he left to USA, of having hopes and wishes.

He is the only Catholic in his family, while the others are Buddhist. He used to spend Christmas alone, went to Church alone and didn’t get used to having presents on Christmas day. I have a Catholic Dad even though he wasn’t so festive about Christmas. So, five years ago, my man and I went to Church on Christmas’ Eve and since then, I whispered to Mother Mary in his god’s house, “I would like to do this every year with this guy, which ‘this guy’ refers to the guy beside me kneeling towards you, praying. And I hope he prays the same thing.”

The Christmas after was bittersweet. He was about to leave the next week, and that time, I hope his prayer was to come back to me. I was so afraid that it could be our last Christmas together.

Years after that were hard times for us, but having the thoughts of spending Christmas with him somehow got me through everything.

It’s so amazing how memory could make people stronger.

So, this Christmas, after 2 years absent from Christmas’ Eve Mass, I would listen those carols and hold that candle again. After the last two Christmases were spent playing “Merry Christmas Darling” on the ‘repeat one’ mode, buying Christmas card and went to post office and skype-ing and wishing to have the next Christmas with my man, the wish finally comes true this year. (<– I smile while typing this.)

I wish everyone to have a jolly Christmas this year and years after. I wish every wish came true. I wish Christmas Miracles happen to everyone. I wish for more candy canes, louder carols, Santa’s tighter red legging, wetter kisses, warmer hugs and creamier cakes. Coz that’s what Christmas is all about!!!

Can’t wait for Christmas day!

Be merry!

Love, May.

***

Bonus photos from the past Christmases!

Christmas 2011

Christmas 2011

Christmas 2012, Boxing Day!

Christmas 2012, Boxing Day!

Can't wait for Boxing day this year! Yaiy Yaiy!!!

Can’t wait for Boxing day this year! Yaiy Yaiy!!!

Cheers,

May, on festive mood.

We should’ve never questioned True Love

I just watched this movie, “Letters to Juliet” and it was fascinating! The plot was actually very common for a Hollywood love story. I mean, I watched tons of these kinds.

But somehow this movie stole something from me. Maybe it was the setting (the world’s capital love story: VERONA), maybe it was the soundtracks (couple of Colbie Caillat’s, Italian Orchestra and Taylor Swift’s Love Story) or maybe it’s simply because believing True Love isn’t that naïve anymore.

The opening of the movie itself amazed myself that I needed to hit ‘pause’ button and wrote it on my twitter. :p

Well, I’m not writing a review for this movie. I just felt the urge to write right after I watched the movie, coz Sophie (the leading lady) wrote a story from a scratch on her little notebook (not the electronic notebook!) and I felt I was a bitch when I said I didn’t write much just because I haven’t got my new notebook (the electronic one!) From now on, I’ll start a book from a scratch, on an actual notebook. ;) Yes, I’ll sell my PC at this end of the month coz I’m moving abroad. I’m not gonna tell you where to yet, but I was pretty stressed about the whole moving thing. Working permit, will my saving be enough, where to stay and everything. I kinda lost my faith a little bit… well I’m not gonna bore you with this irritating problem, coz it’s not the point anyway.

The thing about Sophie I love the most is she believes true love from the beginning to end, without even questioning a little bit.

Naïve? Not Really.

Why? Because when you really believe in something, it will eventually become real.

I grew up believing true love from Hollywood movies, a stack of Danielle Steel’s novels, along with MTV’s top forty love songs. If I think about it now, I would totally think the teenager me is going to die alone. LOL.

But somehow, however impossible it may seem, when you believe it so hard, it will be real eventually. I believed it hardcore. I should’ve never questioned it.

I never witness true love myself, yet I still believe it. My parents are… well, they are great, but they don’t fit each other. It’s a miracle to see them not fighting and blame each other for a day. I get used to it now, I think it’s kinda pathetic but I concentrate more to the fact I didn’t turn out to be one of those cold woman who doesn’t believe in love. I just don’t believe in marriage. I have my reasons, but somehow now I’m open with that option. :)

As Sophie said in the movie, ’What’ and ‘If’ are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: What if? I don’t know how your story ended but if what you felt then was true love, then it’s never too late. If it was true then, why wouldn’t it be true now? You need only the courage to follow your heart.

Always have

Name all the bravest things you’ve done! Bungee jumping, traveling alone to the stranded country where you don’t understand the language, riding the fastest roller coaster, or whatever. But the bravest thing I’ve ever done is following my heart and believed in it. You’ll be surprised how great the courage you’d take when you love someone so deeply.

I’m a hardcore dreamer. And I’ll always be. But you should know that dreams are evolving too. They are compromising you each day.

My dream proposal is: Paris + diamond ring + romantic walk along the Seine river. My dream honeymoon is: Santorini, Santorini and Santorini.

But somehow, I know that it’s not the what, where and how that matters. As long as it’s with the WHO I love, then I’m living my dream.

So?Always will

Let’s BELIEVE! It’s happening!

May

100 Reasons to keep loving you

So we’re in a long distance relationship, so the romance gets out of sight, so it’s boring just with the messenger and skype, so what?

Today is a very special day and I’ll tell you why keep loving you is very easy…

  1. You let me switch the porridges, when I bought the bad one and you bought the yummy one.
  2. You let me name your motorcycle.
  3. You always give me the last bite.
  4. You got me a glass of water when I coughed.
  5. And you took a tissue when I sneezed.
  6. You were there when I was sick; never let me out of your sight, even though my mom was also there.
  7. You bought me my favorite book.
  8. You bought me a dog; even though you didn’t like dogs.
  9. And you took care of my dog, and you call her our dog.
  10. You let me trim your eyebrows.
  11. You remembered the shirt I wore on our first date; it doesn’t fit me anymore though.
  12. You always bring me strawberry milks.
  13. You are never not saying “I love you” in one day.
  14. You came to my place at dawn when I said I miss you.
  15. You wrote me a letter, a nice one.
  16. You always washed your feet before came to my room.
  17. You accept the fact that I have OCD.
  18. You printed my thesis first, before yours.
  19. You always picked me up at work.
  20. You brushed your bathroom tiles when you knew I was coming.
  21. You gave me a nickname, a sweet one.
  22. You printed me a personal T-Shirt.
  23. You always say good night before I sleep
  24. .And you say good morning when I wake up.
  25. You always kiss me when we meet.
  26. You never forget to hold my hand while we walk.
  27. You sent me magazines when I said I was bored.
  28. You let me switch the TV.
  29. You let me pick the movie.
  30. You kept all the things I gave you, even it’s only a post-it.
  31. You read a Mars and Venus book I gave you, and remembered it for almost 2 weeks.
  32. You made everything hard to be easier.
  33. You are a fun person to be with.
  34. You are a good kisser.
  35. Your bum is so sexy.
  36. You’re so hot when you’re sweaty.
  37. You’re smart. You really are.
  38. You really nail the map.
  39. You don’t like other girls but me.
  40. You eat a lot.
  41. You’re counting stuffs without calculator.
  42. You have an irritating voice, and we matched in the karaoke room.
  43. You taught me to play pool.
  44. And you taught me to swim in the pool. So it’s two pools then.
  45. You have very nice teeth.
  46. You always laugh at my jokes.
  47. You always say I’m cute, even when my face is oily and I have a bad-haired day.
  48. You remember my PMS period.
  49. You know exactly where my moles are.
  50. You didn’t notice when I gained weight.
  51. But you noticed when I lost weight.
  52. You love my dishes and you cooked for me too.
  53. You wash the dirty dishes with me.
  54. You complete my sentences… correctly.
  55. You are my truly best friend.
  56. You made me eat the spinach.
  57. You made me do things I thought I won’t… like bungee jumping.
  58. After we bungee jumped, you said, “See? there’s nothing to be afraid of as long as you’re with me”
  59. You watched me sleeping.
  60. You read every post in my blog.
  61. You never let me go out at night without a jacket.
  62. You bought me cajuput oil, coz it makes my tummy warm.
  63. You brought me souvenir from every cities you’ve visited, I knew you were thinking of me all along.
  64. You bought me 3 different rings until I said “I like it.”
  65. When I lost that ring I really liked, you bought me another one.
  66. You booked Eiffel Tower for next 3 years.
  67. You made my birth date as your ATM pin number.
  68. You love to dance with me.
  69. You learned chess for me, so we can play it together.
  70. You count the exact amount of the distance between our cities, and the number is amazing: 10276 miles (1:02 am, 7th of June, it’s the day when we got together).
  71. You made me a mixed CD, and I love it.
  72. You never ask me to choose between you and my dream. (and now my dream is to be with you)
  73. You bought me a book about going around the world and wrote it inside, “Let’s!”
  74. Even you were having a seasick; you asked me whether I’m okay with the high tides.
  75. You bought me a cupcake a year after I asked you one. (and you still remember you promised me)
  76. You watched Glee, even you don’t like musical drama, just to have a conversation with me.
  77. You let me name our future children.
  78. You asked me what kind of dogs I want in our future house.
  79. You always put me on your imaginary future.
  80. You made me eggnog.
  81. You let me use your paypal account.
  82. And you weren’t mad at me when I overused it.
  83. You like to say nice things about me. Those really make my days.
  84. You miss me every single day. I just know it.
  85. You brought me to the zoo and accompany me all day to explore it, even I knew you were bored with zoo.
  86. You flew a thousand miles for celebrating my birthday. That’s the sweetest thing everyone had ever done to me.
  87. You always always always support my dream, even though it seems impossible.
  88. And when it became clearer, you told me, “See, I knew you can do it.”
  89. You always trust my guts, even when I don’t trust myself.
  90. You always say “Mmm, comfort!” everytime you hug me.
  91. You like my hair, you said it smells good.
  92. Your internet cookies automatically lead to my name when you type ‘twitter’.
  93. You kissed me on the sea.
  94. You believe in god, though I don’t, you’re okay with it.
  95. You said your god is nice and he will look out for me too.
  96. You never change, you always love me.
  97. You made a facebook account just so I could put “in a relationship with… YOU”
  98. You still treat me as sweet as on our first date years ago.
  99. You are one gorgeous god’s creation, I bet he really put some serious thought when making you for me, since he knows I want a lot of things.
  100. You love me, unconditionally. Enough said.

Still wondering why I said I’m very lucky? :p

god's gorgeous creation

Have a very happy birthday cupcakes. I’m sorry I can’t fly there. But you know I’ll always love you no matter what.

Love, May.

Long Distance Relationship: Season 2

So yesterday he flew away one more time. I went to the airport to send him away. The atmosphere is more or less the same with what we had almost two years ago. He hasn’t arrived at Houston when I’m writing this so I still don’t know of what will happen on our next Long Distance Relationship. All I know is: I’M ON IT BABY! *positive atmosphere here*

We had the most amazing times on this summer holiday. We traveled a lot, visited new places, talked about so many stuffs about us, and decided something. Yes, we decided something big, probably the biggest thing will ever happen to me. And calm down, people, it’s not a wedding. :p I can’t tell you what it is now, but maybe two months from now I will. ;)

Two days before he was going back to Houston, he said something really moved me,

“You keep making me falling in love… again and again…”

I knew, that moment for sure, that he actually didn’t want to leave. He never wanted to leave me at the first place. It’s just something that he has to do. And I felt like a bitch for always blaming him to leave.

I told him I’d wait, this time sincerely and with smile upon my face. I don’t know for how long do I have to keep running, but if I had to keep running in this relationship, then so be it. It’d be worth every sweat.

So, here I am, on the Long Distance Relationship: Season 2, which I though I would NEVER ever want another season to continue! Bluurrgh!

You are welcome to  share with me the episodes of joy and tears on this season. :)

God I hope this is season finale!!!

may

The things We would do when we’re in the same timezone

*)Well, the 3 months summer holiday is over, and I’ve crossed some of the things I mentioned on the post.

Yeah! The suffer of  my Long Distance Relationship is nearly finished!

I’m gonna touch my finish line in 9 days.

And for one and a half years, Bandi and me have been writing of the things we would like to do when we’re finally in the same timezone again.

And today, I would like to post it in public. Just for fun, and show off of how romantic I am. :p

  • Going to the zoo
  • Watching 500days of Summer, Harry Potter and the half blood prince
  • Cooking Pasta Carbonara –> I don’t know how come we didn’t do that? duh!
  • Making home-made Sushi
  • Spend weekend in Bandung, visit Maxis
  • Eat at Eastern
  • Definitely going to movie theatre, in Ciwalk!
  • Visit Clarke Quay at night
  • Bungee Jumping
  • Eat Blueberry cheesecake at Cizz
  • Playing chess –> He actually bought the chess board already, but somehow we didn’t do that. :p
  • Reading my old diaries
  • Dancing :)
  • Dancing on the beach. :) –> oopsie, too excited on the beach.
  • watching sunset
  • Snorkeling!
  • Swimming in the ocean
  • Kissing in the ocean
  • Snuggling all day
  • Chatting at Starbucks all day
  • Road trip to Bandung by motorcycle –> maybe we’re too old to do this. ;p
  • Cook couple of Indomies in a big bowl and eat it together –> forgot!
  • Watching concert.

And maybe the list is still growing. And if you have fun idea to do, feel free to comment. We would gladly do it!!! =D

With love, May.

Ten things I (and You’ll) hate about LDR

This post is written for people who are about to have a Long Distance Relationship (LDR). It is a MUST to read this post if you’re about to have an LDR. if it’s your friend that’s gonna do the LDR, tell him/her to read this post.
REALLY. It’s important.
While other people told you “It’s ok, you guys are gonna thru it!” I’d just simply said, “DON’T DO IT!”

Why? now, here are the reasons why I (and you’ll) hate LDR:
(p.s I wrote the 3rd person with he/him, but it also works for a she)

  1. You’ll miss each other’s birthdays. Don’t forget to mention holidays such as Christmas, New Year and Valentine’s.
  2. Long distance phone call sucks! the voice is not clear, it’s always dropped and you almost have to shout when you talk. And you pay quite a money for that.
  3. When you’re down, he is literally not there. And “what’s important is that he’s in your heart” is totally bullshit! Coz when you’re down, you need someone’s body to hug you, to comfort you. 3 Dimensions!
  4. Hugging from emoticon messenger sucks! It was cute in the beginning, but getting really annoying. This is for exmple: I need you to hug me. Here is a hug for you honey… >:D<. Cih! it’s pathetic.
  5. Sending stuffs for a gift across the ocean is expensive. The gift itself will be way cheaper than the handling fee. So you’re gonna put the gift for birthday, valentine’s and anniversary in the corner of the shelf and waiting for him to come back.
  6. When he said, “Yes, I totally understand.” he lied. He couldn’t actually understand your situation because you’re in different atmospheres, and he couldn’t feel it. Think about it, being understand in a normal relationship is hard enough. Guess in LDR?!
  7. Yes, you feel lonely when you’re sad. But guess what, you feel even lonelier when you’re happy. Because the first person you want to share your happiness with is not there.
  8. There will be the time when you finally realize that you CAN actually live without him. And that feels sooo wrong.
  9. No dates. Describe your perfect date. Is it dancing under the moonlight, having romantic dinner at your favorite restaurant, or watching stack of DVDs with Pringles and his arms around you. The feeling of being taken out on a date is wonderful. And you’re not gonna have it for at least… err, one year? or more?
  10. You stop making real memories with him. The only memories you’re gonna have is talking on the phone, chatting thru messenger, waving each other in front of webcam. That’s all. No more “do you remember the Italian restaurant that we tried on our 2nd anniversary?” or, “do you remember when we went out without our undies?”

So, my point is…
It’s simply becoz we are far.
We are actually far.

So, is it the distance that breaks us apart? Yes. Sad, but true.

We’re in the different hemosphere. I’m looking at the sun, you’re looking at the moon.
One of us needs to stay up late to have a date. And it’s even a cyber date!
You’re just looking to a piece of electronic called monitor, which doesn’t have arms so it can’t hug you, and doesn’t have body temperature so it’s not warm like u.
It’s even better u’re going to the moon so the time could be more flexible.
If I was dying, u need at least 32 hours to get here, and I’m dead already.

It’s been over a year. Nothing is better. And nothing is adaptable. It still sucks the way it sucked a year ago.

And the saddest is this…

There will be the time when you realize that you can live without him and you’re okay with your life.
And that feels so wrong…and sad.

So, when I told everyone who asked for pre-LDR advice “don’t do it”, I wasn’t joking. I humbly said there’s nothing good come out of it.
I had to tell you the ugly truth.
So, if you don’t love the guy, or the girl that much, DON’T DO IT. It’s like suicidal.

But if you’ve read this post and still wanted to do the LDR, well… You must have loved him/her so much. :)

So, May… if you hate it so much, why are you in one?
“Hmm… I love him that much.”

-May-