Look Closer to Apple Pie and Cinnamon

Nope this is not a culinary post or a recipe blog. Sorry to disappoint hungry people though.

This post is about a  story of a girl. Let’s call her Apple Pie. Apple Pie has been in a long term relationship with her boyfriend, whom would we call Cinnamon, since they met in college, here in Singapore about 5 or 6 years ago. They’ve been together ever since. Apple Pie then had everything she wanted. A good settled life in Singapore, with so many great friends around, a good career, even an offer to be a public teacher (which is sooo amazing in Singapore), but she turned down the offer, and she must quit her job that she liked and she would sadly leave all of her friends and she must leave Singapore.

Why?

She did them all in the name of love.

Because her boyfriend (was then in a long distance relationship with her) proposed to her. Then she must follow her boyfriend (then became future husband) to where he lived, which is a city that if compared to Singapore is much less developed. And the most horrifying thing was, she didn’t know anyone in that city. She must restart her life. She leave everything she has just because of a guy.

In this paragraph, you probably would think “This girl is so stupid.”

I would too…

That, until I knew what her reason is, and that this is not “just a guy”.

I was in the same condition with her when Bandi was talking about going back to his hometown and I straight away told him “No way, we’re breaking up.” So I was blown awayyy with how universe works. Universe arranged my encounter with this girl and we talked and talked and talked until midnight and she opened my eyes of how idiotic love can be. And love should be that way. I requested Bandi to be idiotic, while I stayed sane. That wasn’t fair.

Now let me tell you the other side of the story of Apple Pie and Cinnamon, and let’s take a closer look.

Apple Pie and Cinnamon had the amazing two years relationship when they were in college. Spent so much time together and later found out that they were made for each other. Apple Pie learned a lot from Cinnamon, especially of how Cinnamon treated his family. He was the family guy every girls dying to have to be their husband. Cinnamon was not like that at all, then she learnt how to call her mom and asked her how she is and stuffs. That was one of so many things Apple Pie learnt from Cinnamon.

Long story short, after graduated, Cinnamon moved back to his hometown, a city in the other part of Indonesia, far from Capital city Jakarta, and not Apple Pie’s hometown either. Cinnamon had to move back because he had to inherit his father’s local business. His father was getting old and that was something he must do. Apple Pie tried to understand that but she still stayed in Singapore, for another 2 or 3 years and for that period of time, they were in a long distance relationship.

I know Apple Pie loves living here and it must be so hard for them to decide what to do for their future. They must decide something or otherwise they would be in an LDR for the rest of their lives! (And trust me that’s not a wise idea!) So I met Apple Pie, about 3 months ago. She told me she would go back to Indonesia for good. I asked her why and she said because I wanted to be with Cinnamon.

I asked why again, and she explained.

In the first two years of relationship, when they were still in college, it was all about her. She was the center of the universe. Cinnamon did everything for her. Because it was only the two of them. There were no parents or family involved. Apple Pie knows that Cinnamon would do anything for her. If he could, he would stay with Apple Pie in Singapore, and continue to treat Apple Pie as the center of the universe.

But Cinnamon has a family and he must take care of them and that is something that a man must do. And this is the time for Apple Pie to pay back the favor. Now she wants him to be the center of the universe. She would do anything to make him happy. And she knows he’s happy when he’s with her and his family. So she would move in with him, to an unfamiliar town, which language she couldn’t talk.

I, before knowing her personally, would never ever ever understand why a woman would make a sacrifice for a man like that. That is so degrading for a feminist like me. I would probably call her names like dumbo or stupido or anything.

But then I knew her, and she was not at all stupid or delusional or weak. She was just in love. And she proved me that love does conquer all, my friend.

I am so touched with her bravery and her big heart. It surely wasn’t an easy thing to do, but remember this:

“Sometimes the right thing and the hard thing are the same thing.” (Liz Lemon – 30 Rock)

I’m sorry I didn’t know her sooner. But I’m glad in that short period of time, I met her and got to know her better. We could’ve been BFF if she didn’t move out, but however I’m grateful that I met her.

She made me reflect about my relationship with Bandi which is more or less in the same situation. Bandi is just as worth to sacrifice as Cinnamon and there’s nothing I should hesitate that he will take care of me like he takes care of his sisters and his mother. He’s a family guy that every girls dying to have to be their husband.

But, my heart is not as big as Apple Pie. I am selfish and for these 6 six years of our relationship, not even once I put Bandi as the center of the universe. It’s been always me, me, and me. I have to be the center of his universe, now and always. I have to be spoiled in every possible way. And I don’t feel bad, because I love that.

God knows how much I love Bandi.

I told Apple Pie that. And she said, people speak different love languages, like in Gray Chapman’s book. And I shouldn’t feel guilty. Everyone express love in different way, different language. (You can find more about this in Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages).

Universe works in a strange way. I met Apple Pie in a cycling event, got to know her over a Pasta cooking session and talked to her til passed midnight, and finally realized how love conquers all over a short coffee in Cafe Cartel. Yet this lady made a difference in my life.

The wholemeal spaghetti that we cooked.

I hope I can deliver the message of love and sacrifices in this post. I hope there are no more stupid judgments over the things people do in the name of love. I used to be that person and now I’m not anymore. Love is the most important thing in life. Everything is worth sacrificing for love.

Hey there, Apple Pie. Thanks for inspiring me, and changing my perspective about love and sacrifices. Have fun on your next adventure with Cinnamon. And see you on your wedding day! So excited!!!

Cinnamon’s niece drew this for their wedding day.

Love,

May.

P.S. All photos are taken from Apple Pie’s instagram.

P.P.S. I use fake names just for fun purposes. :p

P.P.P.S Update: Apple Pie’s reaction of this post!

Dreams do come true.

13 years ago, I never thought this would happen. However, I dared to dream.

From my previous post, (here!) it was very obvious how a man named Fabio Cannavaro really helped me go through my unstable teenage life. Almost every night before I slept, I daydreamed about how I would meet him again someday. Some dream was very simple, some was beyond reality, such as he’d take me to outer space or I became his manager and won scudetto together. It might sound silly, but that could be the only thing that got me through my rough teenage days.

I remember my friends used to say I’m delusional or I dream too much. And that dreams will only make you fly and crash you back to hurt you. Well, friends, I just met Cannavaro. This time, LITERALLY.

He retired last month, 13 years from the first time I saw him playing football. Since then, I knew soccer won’t be the same again without him. I kinda felt deeply sad as I realized I won’t ever see him because he stopped playing soccer. How would I ever meet him without going to Italy, buy an expensive ticket and watched him play?

Somehow, dreams do come true. Somehow Universe, once again, do me a favor. From 196 countries, he chose to go to Singapore to promote Soccer. And out of 196 countries, I chose Singapore to runaway to.

So, the two tiny dots on this big earth could finally cross each other. Thank you, universe.

There he is

I was only “Oh my God, Oh My God, Oh my God!” when everyone asked him for his signature. Then he still signed my training pass. He also signed the Italy Jersey that I wore (and now will never ever be washed ever!).

I was a neurotic fan. I was frozen in front of him. I was very happy, I could die! Even writing about it now still makes me shivering a little bit.

Fabio Cannavaro was super awesome! He was friendly, nice and really down to earth. He was just like an ordinary guy, with an extraordinary talent.

He didn’t speak English well. He only greeted us “How are you?” with an Italian accent and said “relax, take it easy…” when people was crazy asking his signature. He waited until nobody asked anymore signature then he left, “no more? Okay then. Thank you! Goodbye!”

I stood exactly in front of him. I just stood there, catching every ion, and taking as many as mental picture since we were not allowed to take picture with him.

I stood half meter in front of my lifetime hero. I must be the luckiest bitch ever existed in this world.

Well, never let anybody in this world to tell you that it’s just a dream. People who’s afraid to dream are cowards and pathetic. Let’s dream! Let’s wish! Let’s ask stupid things! Coz guess what, it might come true. :)

This is a moment to remember. This is one of those stories that I would tell my grandchildren over and over again. Thank you universe, to once again, reassured me dreams do come true.

I got Cannavaro sign my Jersey!

All we gotta do is believe.

When people said you can’t, it means you so CAN!

I should’ve never questioned my luck.

This story started when I rode a trans-Jakarta Bus about one year ago, and got fed up by it. I hated the city so much, people kept staring and saying harassing stuffs to you. I got mad every single effing day, I acted rude to everyone, I was a bitch and i didn’t like the person I became.

I knew complaining won’t ever change anything, so I got this idea. “I should move out from Jakarta!” But there are no other cities in Indonesia that could offer you more money and more opportunities than Jakarta. And I can’t be too idealist either about the money since I support my family now.

So here comes another idea, crazier one, “I should move out from this country!”

But where? how? whom I’m gonna stay with? and so on and so on.

I visited Singapore at the beginning of this year and instantly fell in love with it, thinking it’s a perfect place to run away. The economy is rising, not too far from home, safe environment, high salary, could go to the zoo anytime :p and suits my OCD since it’s very organized. Now all I had to do is surveying my friends who work there. I got positive and negative reviews and long story short, I saved up money to move to Singapore, since living there is not cheap at all! I applied for a working visa, which unbelieveably passed!!! I looked for a room to rent, but no one wanted to rent to somebody who doesn’t have a job yet. But luckily somehow I met this Malaysian girl online and she would like to share her room with me.

So after 6 months preparing, I finally took the flight, the one way ticket to Singapore, daring my luck to surprise me one more time.

And my best friend sent me this picture through email

When Colombus had found America, the first thing he had done was burning down his ship. It means he didn’t have any chance to go back, so he would do ANYTHING to succeed.

And he typed, “Find your happiness there!”

I cried at the gates on the airport, waiting for my planes, looking back at the times I’ve spent in Jakarta. I enoyed the last 2 weeks in Jakarta. I sleptover with my girlfriends a lot, watching Dashboard Confessional concert, had a great talks with my mom and made peace with the traffic jams.

Now I risked everything, my financial stability, the freelance career that I built, my saving accounts. I risked my Mom and Dad, coz I was the one who support them, now I took this effing risk which could probably cost them a financial stability too. I was very stressed out about either I should risk everything or not, so I got a vertigo for the first time. It was beyond ugly! I was throwing up again and again, got a supermassive headache and my mom told me to relax. “Don’t think too much. Everything will be ok and there is nothing more important to me than your succeed.”

I risked it all for something that’s not even real… yet. And everyone told me I’m crazy.

So, it was the moment I commited to pray, every single day. Proudly to say, up until now. :)

I arrived on Sunday, 10 am, 10th October 2010.  Went straight to the rented room, unpack only 10 pair of clothes, couple of instant noodles, and a universe-sized of bravery. :)

On Tuesday I went to my friend’s place to borrow her laptop so I could send out my resume online. She gave me the newspaper and I screened couple of jobs that I might likely to enjoy.

I sent my resume to 3 different companies, and got me to disappointment that my friend turned out to give me the wrong newspaper. It’s a newspaper from 2 weeks ago. An hour after that, I got an email asking for an interview tomorrow. It was shocking, yet exciting!

The next day after that, I got the job. Yep! I nailed the interview and the manager applied my s-pass straightaway. She said, “you are lucky, you know that?!”

I didn’t believe myself either. I am amazingly effing lucky! 4 days here and I got this job already, out of luck. Universe really works in a strange way! I called my mom straightaway and told her how much she’s right about my luck and how grateful I am that she always always believed in me and even though she didn’t, she always showed her calmy face as if she knew it all along.

I remember people saying I was crazy back then, remember people saying “you can’t do that”. Now I get it. Crazy and brave are separated in a very thin line.  I wasn’t crazy, I was just brave. :)

And just remember this,

When people told you, YOU CAN’T DO IT, it means you’re so gonna do it! you’re gonna nail it! Never worry! Universe works in a very strange way. :)

Now I owe myself a credit for being really brave, and definitely will tell everyone that they CAN do whatever they want to do. Live your life to the fullest, everyone! Never worry… Never worry! ;)

May.

We live in a world where good people exist.

Today I complained a lot because it was raining cat and dog. I drove my scooter to the other part of Jakarta and my jeans were soaking wet. I also left home with a frown upon my face.

But universe is so kind to me. I got a very good lesson today.

After 3 hours teaching and a pep talk about resigning, I was ready to go home. It was still rained a little, my jeans were dried already though. Some cars splashed the puddle on me, I got used to it anyway. Just only 500 meters driving, I got a flat tire. It’s not the first time, so I was ok. I was driving my scooter really slow and asked fellow people about the nearest workshop. An old man told me it was only couple of meters away.

He was right. I parked my scooter and let the mechanic examined my scooter’s tire. A middle aged man sat beside me. His motorcycle was dead because some cars splased the puddle and the water got into the engine.

In Jakarta, when the rain was heavy, the puddle could be very deep and when a car went through it, the puddle could splash all over the motorcycles around them. I think it’s really inhuman. Well, I made a promise to myself, when I could finally buy my own car, I’ll always remember this. :)

We had a good talk and it turned out we live in the same neighborhood. The mechanic told me I had to change the entire inner tube because it was broken after multiple patches. I panicked a little coz I didn’t bring so much money today. I only prepared for gas, about 20.000 IDR (2$) and some small bills of 5.000. The tube cost me 30.000 IDR (3$) and the man beside me offered to help. He’d pay the rest of it.

I thanked him million times and he said, “It’s god’s help working through me.”And I replied, “may your god bless you.”

We were stranger, we might believe in different gods, but humanity doesn’t care any of those thing. It feels good to be helped and a lot better to help.

That man didn’t just give me 5.000. That man gave me back my belief and gratefulness I’ve lost in these last 2 weeks.

I am lucky.

Why? If you’re lucky , you didn’t get flat tire at all! I am lucky because I left home with frown and came back with a thankful smile. If it didn’t happen, I might still have that silly frown by now. There’s nothing better than being grateful.

I forgot that I live in the world where good people exist. The universe reminded me today. Now we don’t have to worry anything anymore. We’re all gonna be just fine.

Because… We live in the world where good people exist. So don’t worry! :)May