My Treasure

A couple days ago I was tidying up my room before redecorating and then I found a shoebox of…

love letters 2

Love cards and love letters!

Love Letters!

Doesn’t it seem vintage romantic? Teehee!

It’s been two years since our Long Distance Relationship ended so I forgot how these used to be my treasures, that re-reading them hundred of times still would make me smile like the first glance.

I’ve always thought that rereading these cards and letters would only bring out painful memories from our long distance era, since the writings were mostly full of encouragement and “I miss you” words. I reminisce the blue feeling, the hazy situation and the cloudy hopeless mind full of question mark because on that moment Bandi was quite sure that he was gonna settle down in US while I was nowhere near going there.

Somehow, there were some cards that gave me smiles. Like I said, I was so frustrated by the distance and the “don’t know when to meet you again” feeling, yet we could still write nice things like this.

Bandi's sweet sweet words for encouraging me.

Bandi’s sweet sweet words for encouraging me.

And some sane times, I reply him with encouragement too. Though it was very rarely happened.

And some sane times, I reply him with encouragement too. Though it was very rarely happened.=p

Bandi was studying when I opened this treasure and he groaned, “Oh no… Why are you doing this when I study?!” Then he was slowly pushing his books away and joining me to read the letters one by one with some comments like, “Oh my god, we were so cheesy!” or “Geez, I was writing this on 5th month LDR? Still long way to go, May! NO WAYYY! Break up with him!” or “Aww, you remember this?”

And here goes my personal favorite of all time:

It was so touchy I accused him whether he copied from Google! Haha!

It was so touchy I accused him whether he copied from Google! Haha!

With a kiss or two (ah, who am I kidding, a lot) we started to get cozy and time slipped away and it was suddenly two hours of reading. It was a very nice moment to share with him so I thought we should do this more often, the problem is, if we were doing it often, it won’t feel so magical because yeah, it’s memories. They tend to be forgotten and then found to be a treasure, right?

So Bandi said, “do you want to put it in a time capsule? When we grow old and all our kids have gone out and we have traveled the world, we would just sit at home and read this again.”

I was tempted to do it actually. But in one condition, I want to show this to our kids first. You know, seeing their disgusted faces of “Eww, Dad*! You’re so cheesy!” would be so awesome!!! I cannot wait!

*)terms and conditions are implied because Bandi doesn’t want to be called Dad. But hey, if you’re reading this, I’m the owner of the womb. So “Dad” or nothing! Haha!

Then we talked about our imaginary kids and I freaked out again. Are we going to be good parents if we ever be one someday? Lately I’ve been reading Arman’s Blog and he’s so damn lucky to have those two gorgeous kids. I know that it would depend on your parenting style et cetera et cetera, but wouldn’t the character of the kid be a factor to? Geez, here I am blabbering about kids. Kinda freaky, huh?

Never mind then, I still have some time to think about it though, at least five years. LOL Bandi is so going to kill me.

Anyway, talking about the treasure, I’ve found another treasure that was being put in the same box with the love letters. It’s our scrapbook. When Bandi went to US, I gave him a scrapbook with about 200 pages that I went to bind myself and colored the cover myself. Unfortunately I only used about the first 30 pages, so during his time there, he wrote a couple of things and it was like adding 5 more pages. So we have so many pages left on the book so when we were going for the ultimate trip during his summer break, I put all the memories captured on the book. =)

Here’s some of my favorite pages:

Scrapbook collage

That book is my treasure too and would probably go into my Time capsule too. And guess what was the comment for reading this book. You got it right if you thought, “Shit! I was so damn skinny!!!” Hahaha!

I want to re-write my favorite page of the book. It was written for Bandi to read on the airplane back to Texas after our summer holiday. If this sounds cheesy for you, please please please don’t unfollow my blog. LOL. But seriously I think it’s sweet. (I am so self centered, I want the world to know I’m romantic that way.)

So don’t worry, chase your dream! Even your dream is in the other side of the globe, and 12 hours away from me, I will still support you. I know I said mean things like I can’t keep waiting for you or whatever, but you know how I feel about you. That feeling is too strong to let go, so I decided to never let go, and keep holding on. =)

You flew 12,000 miles to see me, you kept your promise. So I’ll keep mine, that I will always love you no matter how long I should wait or how far I should go.

I love us. And us is what’s gonna make me stay strong. =) I love our silly moments, I love our lazy days, our adventures, our stubbornness. I love how we argue and how we always make up. I love the times we made sushi, watched Ipin-Upin, we talked about life and everything. I love how we always say thank you to each other, how we always be honest and faithful, how we always mock and praise, how we kiss and how we hold hand. I love us.

It will always be this way. You and me. Forever.

Love, May.

So, what about your treasure?

P.S. Was thinking to make kinda Give Away about this theme, but then since the only people who react to this blog is Colson, he would be the one who win it so then I had to send the parcel to Netherlands.  Hahaha. Just kidding, sir! =)

But seriously, what’s your treasure? I would love to hear stories!!!

Cheers,

May, in a nostalgic mood.

A Blast from the Past: Long Distance Relationship Ideas.

Just when I thought I will never make any more post about LDR, here I am, reminiscing my own memories with my LDR and my tricks during the whole shits, hopefully can help any of you who are in the Long Distance Relationshit. So, after those hundreds of whining LDR posts (Ok, I’m exaggerating) here goes the last one (finally, hopefully).

I was in LDR for 2 years 1 month, between Texas and Bandung-Jakarta-Singapore. However, unlike some of you, I can’t just do impulse things like maxing out my credit cards by buying tickets and visit each other, because even though I did buy tickets, I couldn’t enter without visa. So, all I could do was just accept the fact that I’m in a fucking LDR. And in order to make it work, we did couple of fun things together online and here are some of my LDR Ideas that hopefully can help you all.

  1. Pizza Night

Pick up your favorite pizza parlor, order while Skype online, so you can see each other. After you order, bet whose pizza will arrive first. Maybe you could bet for whoever lost, must strip. LOL

So anyway, after the pizzas arrive, you can have a pizza time just like normal couple, expect the fact that your other half is inside the fucking monitor. But hey, you still have the conversation, the pizza and the soda. So why complain? ;)

  1. Play chess online

Bandi and I did this all the time. You can google online chess game or just play it through yahoo messenger’s game tools. It might be a little personal for me because Bandi and I like to play chess and mock each other everytime we do wrong steps and one will beg the other one to undo the step. For a while I could fee like we were actually playing together.

  1. Watch movie together

This one is also my personal favorite because god knows how much we love watching movie together and comment a lot during the movie. We loved snuggling while watching DVDs, so because we were in the LDR, so I would just snuggle with pillows, with him online through phone. I used headset during the whole movie.

Both of you must download the chosen movie the night before, preferably from the same website/torrent, and then click play in the same time. Therefore, both of you will watch technically together, the exactly same movie.

This might a little costly since you must use phone call the whole movie, but since you’re in the LDR, I believe you reserve quite amount of money for this phone bill crap.

So, enjoy the movie and happy commenting!

  1. Messenger doodle

Do you know Yahoo Messenger have this doodle tools? It’s so fun to do. You could draw together, playing hangman, writing “I love you” and so on. You could also take out the girl and boy creature and kiss or hug each other. You could say, “That’s me, kissing you, in a parallel universe. =)

  1. Karaoke Night

Another favorite!!! Download a ‘music only’ song from youtube or any other website, connect Skype and play the song on the Windows Media Player or something. Then sing together like you’re in the karaoke!

Anyway this activity needs a headset to be plugged into your CPU. Our favorite online karaoke song was “Don’t wanna miss a thing” by Aerosmith. =)

  1. The “What would I do” game.

I can’t guarantee a suicidal feeling during this game, you know, because since you can only touch the monitor. So, this game is basically just telling each other and making the list of “What would I do once you’re here”. You can start with simple things as “kiss your eyes” or “take you to the beach” and it would just go on and on and on until you two start to be depressed. Well, don’t tell you I didn’t warn you. But however this game also made quite positive impact for my LDR. After we play this game, I always this “looking forward” feeling for everything in the list to be finally happened. It’s probably a good motivation for you not to give up.

  1. Letters and Cards

Not email and ecard, but real mail and real card! I looove writing letters to Bandi. It felt Jane Austen-like and it was so romantic! I would spray my perfume on the letter so he could have my smell for some times. The feeling of receiving letters and cards were as amazing as writing them. I love the feeling that the card I’m holding was actually touched by Bandi! Oh that’s how much I miss him!

I think it’s one of the MUST MUST do during LDR, because sending letters and cards take much more effort than email and ecard. Believe it or not, during the whole LDR, Bandi never even once, sent me ecard. He’s just as classic romantic as me. We love real cards. =)

  1. Le Sexy Time

Well, I hope you all who’s doing the LDR is at least 18, because hey, before 18 is waaaaay too young for a committed relationship, especially if it’s LDR!! No way! What? What did you think I will say?

So anyway, Sexy time during LDR is both tricky and lucky. Tricky because well, you know how sad it is not being kissed an touched by the person you love when that person is just right in front of you, but separated by that fucking monitor fake glass. Lucky because it’s impossible to do more sin and harm. LOL

Le Sexy time won’t be as intense as normal relationship, because most of the time you do via Skype is talking and flashing boobs. And when it’s the guy’s time to flash boobs, it’s just unfair!

I won’t teach you creative idea for Le Sexy time in my blog (trust me I have a lot LOL), because I have minor readers (really?) but from my point of view, it’s very necessary in an LDR.

Don’t ever think by being in an LDR, your relationship is paused. It’s still progressing just like any other normal relationship, so don’t stop or decrease the thoughts of spending time together. You guys will spend time together just like usual, you guys will have dates just like usual. The difference is just you two are not in the same place geographically. My case with Bandi was even shittier because we have a huge time difference. Every night I will call him to wake him up. Sometimes it’s even dawn at his hour, if I was too tired for a late night chat. However, keep spending time together even though it’s just 5 minutes!!

Keep arranging dates, game nights, movie nights, etc, just like normal couple do. Don’t put your life on hold just because you’re in an LDR. Don’t keep the grudges during LDR and thought you will pour out later. Trust me; there will no later for that case. Just pour out via skype, honey.

And one last very important tagline from my LDR:

Keep the faith, avoid the drama.

Alright so that’s a warp. This post is probably the last post about LDR I will ever make. (Knock on wood I don’t want any more LDR) My LDR was hard and it sucks big BIG time. But it’s not impossible. Remember this glorious feeling you’ll have once you got through it. However LDR is still the biggest tag in my blog and I met a lot of friendly blogger during that LDR blogging times. ;)

So, Have a fun LDR (oh come on, who am I kidding?!)

Have a passable LDR!

I hate LDR so don’t come for me asking for advice!! LOL just kidding.

Love,

May

Ten things I (and You’ll) hate about LDR

This post is written for people who are about to have a Long Distance Relationship (LDR). It is a MUST to read this post if you’re about to have an LDR. if it’s your friend that’s gonna do the LDR, tell him/her to read this post.
REALLY. It’s important.
While other people told you “It’s ok, you guys are gonna thru it!” I’d just simply said, “DON’T DO IT!”

Why? now, here are the reasons why I (and you’ll) hate LDR:
(p.s I wrote the 3rd person with he/him, but it also works for a she)

  1. You’ll miss each other’s birthdays. Don’t forget to mention holidays such as Christmas, New Year and Valentine’s.
  2. Long distance phone call sucks! the voice is not clear, it’s always dropped and you almost have to shout when you talk. And you pay quite a money for that.
  3. When you’re down, he is literally not there. And “what’s important is that he’s in your heart” is totally bullshit! Coz when you’re down, you need someone’s body to hug you, to comfort you. 3 Dimensions!
  4. Hugging from emoticon messenger sucks! It was cute in the beginning, but getting really annoying. This is for exmple: I need you to hug me. Here is a hug for you honey… >:D<. Cih! it’s pathetic.
  5. Sending stuffs for a gift across the ocean is expensive. The gift itself will be way cheaper than the handling fee. So you’re gonna put the gift for birthday, valentine’s and anniversary in the corner of the shelf and waiting for him to come back.
  6. When he said, “Yes, I totally understand.” he lied. He couldn’t actually understand your situation because you’re in different atmospheres, and he couldn’t feel it. Think about it, being understand in a normal relationship is hard enough. Guess in LDR?!
  7. Yes, you feel lonely when you’re sad. But guess what, you feel even lonelier when you’re happy. Because the first person you want to share your happiness with is not there.
  8. There will be the time when you finally realize that you CAN actually live without him. And that feels sooo wrong.
  9. No dates. Describe your perfect date. Is it dancing under the moonlight, having romantic dinner at your favorite restaurant, or watching stack of DVDs with Pringles and his arms around you. The feeling of being taken out on a date is wonderful. And you’re not gonna have it for at least… err, one year? or more?
  10. You stop making real memories with him. The only memories you’re gonna have is talking on the phone, chatting thru messenger, waving each other in front of webcam. That’s all. No more “do you remember the Italian restaurant that we tried on our 2nd anniversary?” or, “do you remember when we went out without our undies?”

So, my point is…
It’s simply becoz we are far.
We are actually far.

So, is it the distance that breaks us apart? Yes. Sad, but true.

We’re in the different hemosphere. I’m looking at the sun, you’re looking at the moon.
One of us needs to stay up late to have a date. And it’s even a cyber date!
You’re just looking to a piece of electronic called monitor, which doesn’t have arms so it can’t hug you, and doesn’t have body temperature so it’s not warm like u.
It’s even better u’re going to the moon so the time could be more flexible.
If I was dying, u need at least 32 hours to get here, and I’m dead already.

It’s been over a year. Nothing is better. And nothing is adaptable. It still sucks the way it sucked a year ago.

And the saddest is this…

There will be the time when you realize that you can live without him and you’re okay with your life.
And that feels so wrong…and sad.

So, when I told everyone who asked for pre-LDR advice “don’t do it”, I wasn’t joking. I humbly said there’s nothing good come out of it.
I had to tell you the ugly truth.
So, if you don’t love the guy, or the girl that much, DON’T DO IT. It’s like suicidal.

But if you’ve read this post and still wanted to do the LDR, well… You must have loved him/her so much. :)

So, May… if you hate it so much, why are you in one?
“Hmm… I love him that much.”

-May-

Another Long Distance Relationship Post

Long Distance Relationship Sucks!

I know I’ve written those words hundred times. But why am I still in one? And if you all think it really really sucks, why are you still fighting for it?

Pepei.

Andi.

Ius.

Yoan.

Monica Yuan.

and especially Shiulen, who had been up and downs with it, and who saved my ass from the fire. ;p

This post is created for you guys! And for those who will have an LDR.

Some of you might have a very long conversation with me before about this shit. And however, you’ve forgotten it, becuase I still had some curse and complain about it, which is okay! Because I, too, called my bestfriend in the middle of the night and cried.

(you would never turn off your cellphone as long as
Bandi is still in Texas, Len!)

Just open this post whenever you think you have reached your limit and you’d find out, it wasn’t your limit, it was just your emotion because you love him (I use male’s phrase) so much but you can only see his face on your fuc*in monitor and sometimes it was even call-dropped!

I want you to think of the times when the two of you said your last goodbye and how you were very sure that someday, you’d see him again. I want you to remember your promise to yourself that you wouldn’t be that stupid to stop loving him just because you’re on different page of atlas! And don’t even let me start about your words to your friend that ‘you can do it’ and your friends made those frawn upon you, but you thought ‘hell, I’m really gonna be through it!’.

Come one guys!! Love is struggling! And we have each other’s back!

These are things I’ve been thinking of when those damn hormones aren’t working:

  1. Understanding. It’s really REALLY important. If you think that he’s so selfish and not understand you first, you’ve really got to quit this LDR! (Yeah, Len.. I know, It’s your words! You should make your own blog!). You have to stop counting how much you suffer or how many tears you’ve drop for crying all night. Because you need to lengthen the compromise line when you’re in LDR. I know it sucks guys! But, how bad do you want to be with him? how bad do you want to survive? If you want it that bad, COMPROMISE FIRST!
  2. Good Times ONLY. Yep, while you’re in LDR, never NEVER think about bad times! Because you’re not in the same place where you can hug him or touch him to make him feel that you love him or make you feel that he loves you. So, there’s no romance in LDR. You can curse about it, but remembering bad times would just make you suffer more coz you can’t do anything to fix it! And all you need is to remember your good memories with him. And trust me, it’s really working!
  3. Stop fighting over simple stuff. It’s really hard, especially for me, the one who always pay attention to simple things. And when you’re in LDR, your relationship with him would only involve messenger, video call, phone call, and emails. So, you won’t complain about his bad habits in real life, such as: making your room messy, dress really clumsy to dinner, or buy you a coca cola instead of strawberry milk. You would find simple things mattered more, such as: he mistyped “I love you” to be “I loev yu” or he kept moving while he’s on the phone with you so the signal is gone. I know it’s all annoying when it’s all the only thing you do with him, but… this point is coming back to point 1, compromise more!!!

One thing will always work for me is…. seeing my pictures with him.

a long way to heaven

a long way to heaven

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He’s the only person who could make me laugh like this.

He made me happier than I ever thought I could be.

And I need to spend the rest of my life, laughing like that.

So…

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but we'll get there!

but we'll get there!

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Why bother the distance and the hormones?

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While the happiness in my life is to see his smiling back at me when we’re meeting again at the airport someday.

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Maybe you’re the lucky ones.

God really loves you so much, then He gave you this drama to conquer. So, think about it… If you can get through this, there’s nothing that you can’t face together with him! And the two of you will be very VERY proud.

To quote Bandi:

It’s just temporary… And it’s all gonna be sooo worth it.

So….?

Still hanging in there?

Just buzz me on my messenger, or maybe join me in hundreds of crying night in front of the monitor. :p

-May-