#30daysblogging Being an adult.

Day 23

Post is an idea from Irny.

Being an adult means being responsible of your own decision; and mistakes.

Being an adult is paying your own bills.

Being an adult is living your own life, separated from the life you used to know.

Being an adult is taking care of your parents, instead of being taken care by.

Being an adult is having the bigger heart, saying “I’m sorry” first.

Being an adult means no longer sweat the small stuffs.

Being an adult is ignoring what other people say or comment about you.

Being an adult is not having enough time for yourself; because you’re too busy worrying other people.

Being an adult means dare to admit your wrongdoing.

Being an adult is letting go your childhood, though once in a while you’d like to visit it.

Being an adult means more work, more responsibilities, heavier luggage and longer list of expectation.

But let me tell you the privilege of being an adult…

You’ve got to make your own decision!

You have your freedom! you can LITERALLY do whatever you want to do, without people telling you.

You can finally don’t give a fuck, you can actually ignore what other people say.

You will have finally found YOU. The real you.

And you can either see you being an adult as a burden or a blessing. :)

Cheers,

May, still on the process of growing up.

10 things I’ve figured about myself when I get older

They said the age twenties is the most crucial time of growing up. Early twenties and late twenties can make a huge different and it is the time of self discovery and when we finally draw lines from rights or wrongs. Maybe it’s true. Since life will truly begin on 30, I guess I have to figure out everything about myself before then.

Remember all those things we wished we would do when we were young? Now it seems not that important anymore or it turned out we don’t enjoy it at all.

So, after some time of self discovery (cieh) here are ten things I’ve figured out when I get older (and wiser i hope):

1. I’m not a quitter.

I always thought i am. I used the “I’m a quitter” words to avoid things i didn’t want to do. But as i grow older, I’ve realized I am so not a quitter! For the things that I REALLY want, I always strive to get it. And I got it no matter what. I’m quite ambitious that way, which is not my favorite trait about myself, because ambitious people tends to be bossy and annoying but i kinda am.

2. I secretly love Beegees.

You know because Beatles were cooler and some people think Beegees is weird. But hey now I don’t care. :p Actually i love all the songs from 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. But I have a special place for Beegees songs in my heart. =)

Grease is the word, is the word that you heard. It’s got a groove, it’s got a meaning!

3. I love spending time in art museum.

This is quite shocking. I remember when I was very little and I was into paintings and then I became teenager and I was into manga because I thought classical paintings are boring but oh my I couldn’t be more wrong! It’s quite surprising for me because I’m not a classy lady but I do enjoy classical paintings so much. I could just stand in front of one and stare for minutes, wondering how many possible stories were hidden behind the piece. The interest is magnified when I borrowed one of the renaissance book from the public library last year. I remembered I saw Van Gogh’s starry night around 3 years ago when MOMA New York lent it for a show in Singapore and I was stunned. It was so pretty and freaking magical!!!! I then tried to read more about Van Gogh and the more I know the more I’m intrigued. Then I read more about renaissance era where people started to ACTUALLY got married out of love, when romanticism started to grow. Oh the beginning of true civilization… So yeah, it turned out I’m an art and history buffs :)

4. I am not a daredevil.

Remember when everyone’s bucket list filled bungee jumping and sky diving and stuffs like that? Well I had them too, but then I bungee jumped and I didn’t like it. Okay, it was fun but not something I would enjoy doing it all over again. I’m not a thrill seeker, as much as I want to be one, I am not.

5. I’m a little vain.

I love dressing up, putting make up and do my hair. I know it’s so weird that I just realize it now, when I’m twenty freaking seven? I mean I always knew that I care of how my body looks, i wanted to look sexy, but I never really cared about my skin or my hair or my nails. I guess years of years of neglect finally took its toll.
I don’t say I’m that vain until I wear make up everyday and starve to death just to lose a few kilos, ok! I just realize that now I begin to care of how I present myself. But I’m vain enough to spend hours in front of mirror. Yeah yeah weird right?

6. I’m a shoe addict.

I know I’ve loved shoes since long time ago but since I’ve worked and had my own income, I started to buy shoes like… a lot! I love oxford shoes the most, then boots, then mary-jane, then simple 7 inch heels (which is my current obsession now). I don’t like flats, I mean I don’t like how it looks but ironically I have to wear it everyday since I live in Singapore and that involves a lot of walking. And to complete the irony, most of my high heeled shoes had only worn once or even had never been worn. =(

The latest discovery I’ve made is UP Shoes. They are comfy, fashionable and most importantly they are made in Indonesia. =)

Too bad it costed me Rp. 100.000,– delivery charge per shoes in order to ship them to Singapore. So the second time I bought from UP, I asked them to ship to my cousin’s house in Jakarta.

I love Indonesian made shoes! They are great! =)

My latest insanity of buying shoes online.

7. I don’t like studying.

I used to want to have master degree, but then I never even once try to submit my scholarship application. So I figured it out, I never wanted it anyway. I just wanted it to follow everyone’s trend, but I guess I never wanted it, simply because I’m lazy to study.

8. I have a good palette.

Palette for my tongue and for color design. I know it sounds so shameless but I do have good palette for good food. I think it’s because I’ve spent too much time trying foods with Bandi and we liked to discuss about it, like what are the possible ingredients and stuffs. I think I’ve trained my tongue to slowly enhance the palette.

For the color palette, I don’t think it’s something new because I’ve been playing with crayons since I was toddler but I guess I’m getting my brain trained more lately.

9. My friends are so important for me.

Sometimes I’m thinking whether I should go back to Indonesia for good because I miss my friends too much. I wanna spend more time with them. That’s why I’m always glued with my phone because that’s the only way for me to keep connecting with them. :'(

But then I know I have priorities.

10. I am not my mom.

I had this fear of becoming my mom. But as I grow older I realize even though I’m almost like a clone of her, I’ve made decisions so different from hers. I think the best self-discovery in my life in when I realize that I’m not my mom. We are two similar characterized persons but we made different decisions because we have different thinking.

So much for the change, I was thinking of what hasn’t changed?

1. I always love football.

Something that never change… I love football, always. I may not watch league matches every weekend anymore but everytime Azzuri has international match, I will stand up for them. Always. It’s probably my lifetime passion.

2. I always love animals.

My Dog who loves to be pet but sometimes I'm too lazy to pet with my had. LOL

My Dog who loves to be pet but sometimes I’m too lazy to pet with my had. LOL

Another thing that never changes… ever. I love animals and I’m passionate about them. I love dogs the most of course. Never in my life have I not owned a dog at home. My very first bestfriend was my dog. =)

Word!

Word!

3. I am a romantic.

I’ve always been. It’s in my blood. =)

4. I am impulsive.

The impulsive thing I often do with Bandi is…

11:00 at night… Bandi and I stared at each other and one of us said, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” And then we burst out laughing. “Take your wallet!” And then we went to McDonald’s. LOL!

5. I’m always me.

Yeah, I am the crazy idealist passionate bitch who doesn’t stop until I get what I want. I am cheerful, honest, loving and loyal. If you’re kind to me, I will be even kinder to you. I am selfish, control-freak, self centered and I actually don’t like to share things. That’s just me. Always.

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So, have you figured out what changes and what never changes throughout your twenty-something age? This is the period of self-discovery. Discover or re-discover yourself! It’s fun! Try it! (Don’t forget to tag me if you try this. =D)

Cheers,

May, the adult hipster.

A good talk

Yesterday an old friend from my college texted me, telling me she’s in Singapore for couple of days and whether I wanted to meet up. Then I replied “I’m free tonight.”

Let me tell you about my college. It was the best four years of my life. I have never experienced living my life with such scarce allowance money yet laughter were always around. I was anak kosan, living in a spooky house with 8 other awesome girls which later I called a family. I was a chief of organization called kakak asuh which I’m very passionate about, I loved my major and especially I love my campus.

I was a Political and Social Science student and everyone knows my campus is the best of throwing party. We had tried to go to Law Campus’ party, Engineering students’ party, Architects’, Chemical Students’ even the lousiest Economic students’ (Sorry Bandi) and no campus has better party than ours. Our major was technically throwing party and events and fund-risers every freaking month! I have never even once being dormant without planning anything until my last semester. And believe it or not, as much as so many ganks were being created, we all were getting along with each other. My campus is super awesome, even my nerdiest friend wasn’t get bullied, we asked a copy of his notes instead. :p

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Bottom line is: College was the greatest time of my life. If there was a genie asked me to freeze time when I was in college, I would totally proceed that!

But time never stops, it flies instead. And growing up sucks. We all graduated and the magic time has fade away. It’s time for the real life. The life that we thought we had figured it out.

And to quote my friend yesterday night: “And here we are, twenty seven years old, and haven’t figured even a freaking little of it out.”

“Shit. We were wrong.”

We were a politic students, we always talked fancy words and thought we are the smartest and we would be more likely to rule the world than any other students. Yeah it’s true some of my friends really turned to be diplomat but how about the rest of us?

Here I am, turning twenty seven, not married, not even planning it, not doing my dream job in UN or teaching, not even close to it. I am nowhere I thought I would be. Obviously I put too high of expectation towards myself.

I went home feeling the paradox of sweet nostalgic and a big worry yet when I met Bandi he said, “you always have this glow everytime you meet your college friend.”

Bandi first met me on my glorious day when I was still a going-to-save-the-world-idealist. I was pretty awesome back then, agreeing to every cause I heard and never got tired (I mean physically. Geez what were college kids made out of?) I could stand up all night TALKING with friends on a 24 hours coffee shop ordering only one cup of lemon tea until 6 in the morning and went straight to my 7 am class!!! Geez! Anyway… Bandi always saw me that way. She adored me and I could see that in his eyes everytime I meet my college friends again.

I’m not in college anymore, I’m an adult now. And I was kinda felt lost last night, I told him that “those were still the best years in my life ever. Now I’m so tired, I just wanna go home and sleep.”

However he asked me to accompany him doing push ups which turned to be a very good talk. It was started with the things I talked with my friend on the sushi restaurant. It was about Sheryl Sandberg’s book of how to juggle between work and being a mom. I told him I could never do that because I’m too worried about my future kids and that it’s all coming back to choices. Then we talked about college days (again) and we laughed a lot.

Bandi and I laughed a lot, in the middle of the night, when all of our roommates are soundly asleep, reminiscing about who hooked up with whom, who ended up with whom and stuffs like that. Minutes turn to hours and it was suddenly midnight. And we remember… we used to do this almost everyday back in the days… we could talk all night and laugh and giggle and bet stupid things. And how I forget about it lately.

We are so caught up with work lately, he, especially, prioritizes his work and his study above everything else now and we were kinda disconnected. And a good talk happened in the perfect time. I remember why I stick around with him these years. I remember how we are so great of being best friends. I remember how I loooveee talking to him. He was my best friend and he still is. He could erase my worries away just for being there, doing nothing but just talking to me about anything.

How could I say mean things to him like “Never mind, you won’t get what I’m saying anyway.” or “Guess I already talked about it with Strawberry.” when actually I was the problem all along.

Maybe I am mad at myself, or at the world for not turning the way exactly like I planned. Yeah I’m not working for UN right now and it’s not his fault. Reality bites me and people change and I got angry.

I am freaking twenty seven, shouldn’t all this happen when I was teenager? Geez.

Today I told Strawberry about yesterday and she reminds me about something important, that we were having so much fun back then but now life is still pretty awesome. It’s just different kind of fun.

She’s right. It’s a different kind of fun.

So, to sum up this post I’m gonna go philosophical using the Candy Crush theory.

Life is like Candy Crush. It gets harder as your number gets higher, but you don’t want to stop. You keep going on no matter how harder it gets. Even though you fail some times, you don’t give up but you try again. Again and again until you move up. You just keep going up, no matter what happens.

Well, a good talk might not happen everyday, but I’m glad I had it last night. It’s definitely going to our top ten favorite moments. =)

Cheers,

May, moving on.

When I have a boyfriend

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When I was single, I always thought, geez what’s wrong with these ladies? When I have a boyfriend one day, I’ll let him play FIFA (or WE for that matter) as long as he wants, I even will play with him all night and I’ll be the coolest girlfriend ever.

When I have a boyfriend, I will never interrupt his buddy boy time, he can be out as long as he wants.

When I have a boyfriend, I will hang out with his guy friends talking about football and girls.

Well, single May, those are bunch of horse craps!!!

No women would let the man just sitting around do nothing but play fifa. No hell way! Yes you can do that with your male buddies which I had a lot back then and all we did was hanging around all day do nothing but play games or play card games or sing along with guitars and just haaanggg, talking about football and chicks. I was  the coolest female friend any men could ever had.

But once the man turns to be your boyfriend, he is set to be some awesome grandeur hero that you want. AND IT’S OKAY, LADIES! It’s okay to set certain expectation for your boyfriend, especially when it is a serious relationship and you vision him as your future husband.
If he doesn’t wanna live striving for your expectations then screw him!!! (Well as long as the expectations are real, m’kay?)
Yeah you can have your FIFA time but not ALL DAY!!! two or three hours are okay but not prioritizing the game over us! That’s not right!

I hate it when men said we, women, don’t understand them. You freaking chauvinist dumb, if we don’t understand you, we won’t ever want to tolerate your stinky socks, your stupid jokes, your messy cereal crumbs, and all your other bad habits. We weren’t built for living with those craps, but we do compromise!

We always ALWAYS try to understand men, but do men try hard enough to understand women? No, I don’t think so. And we’re pushing you to be better is not because we hate to see you’re having fun with your games, but we want you to be better. Not only be a better and more responsible man for us, but also for our future kids.

Men expect women to accept them in bad times, when men didn’t have a single cent on their pockets. Men wants women who see them when they had nothing. I agree with that. But please don’t stay there. When a woman, one special woman has come to your life when you had nothing, don’t you want to strive everything for her? Prioritize her above anything, even above your stupid game? Be somebody that she will be proud of, not just some lame lazy gamer?! Man up!

I’m a gamer myself. I do sometimes play game on my free time, and let Bandi did the same thing too. But I don’t and NEVER put my game above him. That’s just plain stupid. I hate when men make chauvinist joke about how women are easy and games are hard. I hate douches like that! And it doesn’t make you cool!!! Defending your game over your girlfriends and showing off to your friends doesn’t make you cool. That makes you A JERK! (And that goes to you Balotelli, whether your twitter accound is really verified or not.)

So, if I could tell single me years ago, I would tell her…

When you have a boyfriend, you’ll make him understand that it is not cool to treat girl any less important than games.

When you have a boyfriend, you’re gonna be cool with his friends but not necessary means always hang around with them.

When you have a boyfriend, he’s gonna be that man you’ve always wanted, not LESS. You deserve the BEST for you, not the second best.

You don’t settle for the second best, ladies. You deserve the best for you. The one who finds any game lost its interesting point once you enter the room. =)

(Please do understand the best in this case is always different for everyone. If he’s the best for you, doesn’t necessarily mean the best for me. You know, that one custom made person by god especially for you.)

I know I probably took the Balotelli’s joke too seriously. However he’s Balotelli for god’s sake, he does stupid things in his own childish ways (But I must still have to support him as long as he’s in Italian National Squad). Anyway, it’s not only because of Balotelli’s joke itself, it’s just too much chauvinist jokes in the internet and I feel like I should make a post. You don’t need to be a feminist to be offended anyway.

For a relationship matter, I’m an idealist, and I will always be.

P.S: I just put a new link titled “My Personal Favorite Posts” which is compilation of my favorite posts that I put a lot of mind into and also the ones I love the most. =)

Cheers,

May, tantrum-ing on words.