7 girls who you should never settle down with!

At this crucial age, I’ve seen a lot of guy friends made bad decisions. Apparently the marriage Euphoria doesn’t only affect women, but men too. I honestly don’t understand why men have to settle down fast? I mean, men don’t have biological clock that ticks annoyingly (not that women should care about it too) and men are considered more stable when they are older. By “more stable” I meant RICHER. Yes, gold diggers dig old men, don’t they?

Anywaaaaayyy, I seldom write for my fellow male friends/readers frienders (OH WOW I just invented a word! TM by May!) but when I do, I make sure this speaks from the bottom of my heart.

DEAR MEN… PLEASE DON’T EVER SETTLE DOWN WITH…

1. A girl whom you never see without make-up

I don’t care about appearance, but this is important. YOU HAVE TO see your wife-to-be without make up because it is when you realize whether you truly love her or not. COME ON, this is 2014, make up can change someone’s face, SERIOUSLY. I don’t say that having a girlfriend with thick make-up is wrong. NO. It means she has one hell of creativity. But it’s about whether she is CONFIDENT to show her true skin. If she’s not comfortable enough to show you her true skin, then she either doubt your love or she has a super low self esteem. Trust me you don’t want those.

2. A girl who spends all of her money on stuffs she wears

Yes, we all buy stuffs. Girls buy clothes, shoes, make-ups, bags and all the superficial stuffs and IT’S NOT WRONG. It’s how we have fun. But it is wrong when that girl spend all of her money on stuff! She doesn’t spare some for insurance, gym, cooking lesson, books, DIY craps crafts, music CD, concert tickets, furniture, cooking appliances, language course, inn-app purchases (I know this is silly but at least it’s not stuffs she wear), anything that could guarantee that she has other hobby than just dressing herself up. Any hobby, really.

3. A girl who never pays

Oh this one is HIGH ALERT, I tell you. Girl who never pays when you guys were still dating will most likely definitely vacuum all of your money once you guys get married. TRUST ME. I mean, she never even paid parking ticket? Or movie ticket? NO HELL WAY! And if she never bought you any birthday card, or Valentine card (let alone a gift), SHE DOESN’T LOVE YOU TRULY! She doesn’t have money? EXCUSE! Girls can always make stuffs!!! And handmade stuffs are more romantic anyway!

4. A girl who creates problem, a.k.a. The Drama Queen

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was once a drama queen. But I stopped once I fell truly in love. So yeah, no excuses! When she acted all crazy and created problems, it could only mean one thing: She just wants to play. Once a girl falls in love truly, she won’t want to play again. :)

5. A girl who is weak.

Physically and psychologically. YIKES! I hate this type of girl the most! I just hateeee weak girls who ALWAYS NEED MEN. EWWWWW!!!! “Ohh, I can’t carry my bags, it’s so heavy…” “Ohh, I’m so sad, this morning I couldn’t find my pink tank top. I need men to make me feel better” EW!!!

A strong girl doesn’t need to be all muscular and wonder-woman-like, but at least she can carry her bag and her grocery bag! Yes, cavalry is nice when a guy offers us to bring our grocery bag. But when a guy is not around, we CAN do that ourselves! And don’t get me started about the “I’m the victim of bullying” crap. Sometimes a girl positions themselves as a victim and I HATE THAT. YOU CAN ALWAYS FIGHT BACK! Instead, they need men to fight for them. EW! Seriously Eeewww!

6. A girl who doesn’t (or seldom) eat.

She is so self-conscious about her weight so she stopped eating. Well, dear, why didn’t you stop breathing instead? It doesn’t mean that she had to go binge eating everytime, but at least she EATS something.

This will go back to point number 1; you don’t want a girl with self-esteem problem because it will seriously ruin everything!!! No matter what you see in her, she will always think she’s ugly, fat and worse than any other girls and she will feel insecure all the time. AND IT’S ANNOYING BEING AROUND THAT KIND OF GIRL. Trust me, run while you can!

7. A girl who doesn’t have BFF’s.

I used to think having girlfriends were too much problems, because you know, girls are more complicated than guys. But then… every girl must have (at least) one girl that is reaaaaalllyyyyy similar with them in minds that they are like twins. Even though they don’t have similar minds, as long as they love each other, they will always be BFF.

When a girl has BFF, it means she has life. She will not bother you 24/7. She will have some girl time and she will treasure you because she chose to be with you because she loves you (and will sacrifice her time with her BFF) instead of because she’s lonely. A girl who has BFF also means that for (at least) one person out there, she is VERY IMPORTANT, and she is worth to love. :)

And what about a girl who doesn’t have BFF? Well, she’s either a bitch or… a bitch. Yes, she’s a bitch, period. Maybe she always ended up flirting with all of her girlsfriend’s boyfriends, maybe she stabbed her girlfriends behind their backs, maybe she was a liar, a drama queen that was just too much to handle? Trust me, if a girl wouldn’t handle this one, YOU WON’T BE!

So that’s it! 7 types of girls that you wouldn’t want to settle down with! Don’t believe me? Go ahead and try! Don’t tell me I didn’t warn ya!

Just want to remind you guys… that girls are as strong as you. We never tried to overpower you or being above you, we just want to be equal with you. And when one day you marry one of us, that means we are forming a team, not you owning us. :)

P.S. This post was also written for celebrating Kartini Day that happened yesterday! :)

P.P.S. And to end this fabulous post, let me post this inspiring quote-picture:

“Fight like a girl” is indeed a compliment. :)

Cheers,

May, fighting like a girl.

For all the women out there!

It was an ordinary day when I sat on the train from home to office and this book changed my life.

Ok, change my life sounds too exaggerating, but I swear this book has given a new perspective of freedom and independence.

I have been living my whole life as a free person and not even once I think about how living would be like when all your decisions were made by other people yet all the consequences had to be bear by you.

I could have never imagined being forced to share my life with a stranger, let alone serve him for my whole life, let him do whatever he wanted to do at and to me. I could have never imagined that being “gang-raped” is a normal act of punishment.

That’s a life as an Indian woman in a village.

They are forced to be married as young as 12 years old, and if nobody wants to marry her because she looks ugly (oh my god, I want to cry typing this… no women are ugly…) then the father would sell her to prostitution. Men don’t like feeding their daughter because it is considered as watering someone else’s garden. Because in the end a daughter will move out from house and serve their husband.

I quoted a line from an Indian woman in a documentary movie from BBC, “Being born as a woman in India is an unfortunate thing.”

The book led me to hours of watching Indian documentary in youtube and it bothered me in so many ways that a lot of bad thing happened in India to women just because they are women.

I kept thinking why didn’t they runaway and start a new life somewhere in the city? I better be starved to death than to live as a slave. But then it turned out, some women didn’t know the idea of freedom.

Oh how could a culture make such a suffering to a certain sex? How is an inferiority and superiority justified by what sex somebody was born as?

It’s not fair.

Then I watched a documentary movie called “Born into brothels” which won an Oscar on 2005.

A documentary photographer named Briski came to the brothels to take some prostitution photos where she met the children who were waiting to grow up and eventually become prostitutes too. She was then drawn closer with the kids and taught them photography.

Some of the kids were really good at it and Briski brought all their photos back to US for having a charity exhibition where the money raised were used to send the kids out from the brothels to a proper boarding school.

Years later, the kids were flown to US to attend an academy award because the movie won an oscar!!!

Fast forward to years later, which is now… They are mostly living in US and went to top universities. Even though there is one girl who was left behind and still living in a brothel because her mother didn’t allow her to go. :(

However, some of the kids really have their real-life happy ending. They could’ve lived their whole life as a prostitute and now they’re living their life doing what they like. One of the most talented kid in the movie now is an assistant director in the Hollywood. =)

So… No matter how people say what your destiny is, don’t believe them.

These kids were growing up abused mentally, told that they were born to be a prostitutes. At some point maybe they believed it, but in the end, when you really want to live, you will. =)

It’s the same as the book I read, even though it’s fiction (and it became too Disney-like at the end), it really moved me… that a clueless helpless Mamta, who was forced marriage and abused by her husband could find a strength to run away to a complete foreign possibility. It’s all because she eliminated her fear.

Sometimes in our life, fear holds us down from so many amazing things. Fear to step into a new place, fear to open our heart, fear of being lonely so we married the wrong people, fear of rejection…

We have to be brave.

Being brave is not being fearless. Being brave is being able to face our fears.

Be brave, then we will be liberated.

And for all the women out there… never take your freedom for granted. Be grateful of your freedom and embrace it. Never feel inferior or superior to men because we are equal in god’s eyes.

We are just as free as men, as strong as men, as brave as men. We just wear more beautiful shoes and spend more times doing our hair.

Happy Valentine’s to all the women out there. You don’t need men to validate you. Be grateful today because not only you are lovely, you are also free. =)

And uh-oh, the post is not over until I give my favorite feminist quote:

Cheers, May.

Stay happy and live cheerfully!