Effortlessly Beautiful

Disclaimer:

This is a repost I made back then on June 2012. I feel like bringing this post back to the current timeline because I had done something terrible that I’m not proud of. I just want to remind everyone (and myself) that we don’t need to feel insecure (even though you’re on PMS) of what other people said. This post brings smile on my face, I hope it does the same to you. =)

Growing up, I’ve never been the pretty one. I grew up okay, with crooked teeth and pimples on my face. My skin has always been tanned because I was always out, playing basketball or chasing kites. I was so freakin happy, I didn’t realize I was physically unattractive. My mom never taught me how to take care of my skin or how to do hair and stuff and my sister went off for college. I was growing up with so many guy friends and not so girly girl friends. I never had boyfriends until high school.

I fixed my teeth with braces and tried to comb my hair everyday (Yes I was so carefree I didn’t even comb my hair sometimes) when I reached puberty and I was hopelessly having major crush with a guy in high school. Anyway I never feel beautiful. I only know and feel that I am a very cool girl that guys like to hang out with, talk about football with and of course they would chase my friends instead of me.

Comes to think of it, I’m so thankful with the way I grew up. I never overrate beauty. I always believe it’s what’s inside that matter, that physical appearance can  deceive you. Unfortunately I was taking it too seriously by never taking care of my body, which is wrong. It is true that physical appearance can’t tell who you really are, but it is good to look presentable. But beauty is another thing, it is what’s inside. It is the way you laugh and the way you appreciate what really matters in life. And if no guys could see it, then he’s probably not the one.
I appeared to be a little cynical about love back then. (Come on I was teenage and having fun with my girlfriends was all I wanted.) So having a boyfriend never came across my mind. Seeing so many heartbroken stories and facts that guys were assholes and jerks, I thought I would never meet my prince charming. Until I was 20, there were still no prince charming coming with white horse, but deep down inside I still believed in love like fairy tale. Everynight I was daydreaming and creating love story plot. It changes everyday, but the prince would always the same. The guy who will see me the way I am.
Meeting Bandi was a lifechanging moment of my life. I finally understand the feeling of being beautiful without even trying.

It’s true that make up could make you look pretty, but does it make you feel pretty? I admit I wear make up since I was in college, once in a while. Whenever me and my girls went clubbing or attended a party or special events. Make up does make you look presentable, and yeah realllllly make you look good in the photos. But wearing make up every single day of your life is sad. That way, make up is not something fancy to boost up your presentation points, that way, make up is a mask that you wear everyday because you don’t love the way you look originally. When you’re wearing make up to gym, you know you have a problem.

I can’t judge that everyone who wears make up have a low self esteem. I know for some people doing make up is hobby, while some others do have a problem with self esteem.
So since we talk about beauty  I believe we must have stumbled on make up pep talk. Ok, so beauty is overrated. Why do girls want to look pretty? They are either want boys to notice them, or they want to take photos and post it on facebook.
Let me tell you the moment when I feel pretty the most. It was drizzling and i haven’t showered since morning. I was so tired of working my temp job attending ticket counter. At first I didnt know anyone staring at me from afar. But then I realize Bandi has been standing there (I dont know how long) waiting for my shift to end. He smiled at me when I looked at him. He has this look on his eyes that I can’t describe with words. I felt so beautiful by the way he looked at me. He stared at me like he never see a beautiful girl before. This may sound very stupid, but in my life til date, I never feel prettier than that moment. I wanted to describe more about the moment, but I stopped on my keyboard just now, didn’t know what to type. The bottom line is, I felt so beautiful just by the way he looked at me. It’s something magical and unexplainable. (I know unexplainable is not even a word. So, see? no words can describe I have to make up a word!)
And anyway, since that day, I always be effortlessly beautiful.
After that moment, I never have issue with my self esteem, with my pimples or my crooked teeth. When people comments about them, I just said, it’s how I look, like it or not.
When shallow people I met preach me to buy expensive skin care, or push me to lose weight or ask me to stop playing under the sun because I’m so tanned, I never listen to them. I only smile and nod and sometime say “you think so?” so they won’t feel rejected.
But the truth is, there is only one person out there whose thought of my beauty I really mind. And I know in his eyes, I will always be beautiful no matter what. So why bother of what other people say?

Beauty is overrated. Magazines and E! make people think that being beautiful is about fair skin, perfect hair, flawless make up and skinny body. Well people have to start differentiate between beautiful and presentable. If you’re an actress, of course you have to look presentable so people will enjoy seeing you and adore your beauty. But do we expect normal people to be that expensive-pretty too? No way we cannot afford that silliness, financially and mentally. We’re normal people! We just need to find someone who sees us the way we are. And then, we will always be effortlessly beautiful.

Remember what Dr.Seuss said, …for those who mind dont matter and who matter dont mind. :)

Someday all the pretty girls will be old and wrinkly and all the botox in this world can’t save their perfect faces. But you could always have that guy who always sees you with that sparkling eyes, timelessly.

He will see you, in your late seventies, just as beautiful as when you were twenty. No matter what, you will always be effortlessly beautiful in his eyes.
Once you’ve found that guy, don’t ever let go. He’s the one.
I have always been a believer. Love is what changes my life from a sucky cynical crap to what I am now (still the same crap. LOL)
Written with smile,
May.16th June 2012

The beauty in everyday life

This morning I went to work with Bandi because he needed to go to his client’s office which coincidentally located near to my office. We spent one hour in the train talking about stuffs. When we finally got seats and sat I took out three postcards from my bag. He asked me what those are and whom those are from.

I told him it’s my postcrossing hobby. He knows about my postcrossing but only this time he read the postcards together with me. I showed him the three postcards I received the day before and one of them is the Neuschwanstein Castle that we will visit this October.

The postcards pictures from Germany, Shanghai, and Thailand.

The postcards pictures from Germany, Shanghai, and Thailand.

My favorite part: reading what strangers say!

My favorite part: reading what strangers say!

Bandi laughed when I showed him the stamp from the Thai postcard. “It’s so cuteee!” I shrieked. Then he asked me whether I knew all of the flag and you know what? I DIDN’T!! Lol.

Bandi, in the other hand, always likes to be mr. smart-ass so he was like, “This is Brunei, Myanmar and Laos.”

The cutest and the longest stamp ever!

The cutest and the longest stamp ever!

Then I realized, I only forgot the flags of the places I never traveled to! so it’s true that traveling does make me smarter! Hahaha. Another reason to go traveling, riiiight?!

So we talked and Bandi asked me, “Why do you still have time for things like this?”

“Like what??”

“Like sending postcards to strangers and creating stupid games?”

(Stupid games refers to this: see below picture)

Photo 2-7-13 10 11 51 AM

Then I realized, WHAT THE F? I’ve been wasting to much time for….

DOING AWESOME STUFFS LIKE THIS? Hwahahahahah!

I love to host and create games like this. For me, it’s having fun. And yeah, I spent time to find nice postcards according to the stranger’s request and also paid for stamps but I enjoyed it. :)

Since my life is pretty much flat, go to work, saving money and loving the same person over and over again, I figure I must make some fun and excitement along the way.

I was asked why do I have such a boring job, well… because I need the money. HAHAHAHA!

I did work as a journalist for 4 months but didn’t enjoy the non-stop working hours and I couldn’t write things I wanted. Then I worked as a teacher that I LOVE but then yeah, the money is not that good. Passion versus money right?

I’m the least materialistic person you’ll know but I feed my parents and I want to go travel around the world. So I put my priority over my passion. That’s just my decision.

Anywaaay, back to the little beauty in everyday life, I enjoy postcrossing so much. Basically I love snail mails and writing with my hand. You know what’s the most excited thing about my wedding? WRITING the save-the-dates and invitations! It would be so fun! Haha.

I put some of the postcrads I received from postcrosssing before…

From Miami, USA.

From Miami, USA.

From Sydney, Australia

From Sydney, Australia

Postcards from Ukraine and Finland.

Postcards from Ukraine and Finland.

Postcard from Netherland, but on the same day I got my Anne Frank book delivered so I took it together because they are both are from Amsterdam! =D

Postcard from Netherland, but on the same day I got my Anne Frank book delivered so I took it together because they are both are from Amsterdam! =D

The latest postcard. This is Montmartre, the neighborhood I'm about to live in Paris later. The sender Angie wrote it in French! And I totally got it! (Guess my French Tutor did a good job!)

The latest postcard. This is Montmartre, the neighborhood I’m about to live in Paris later. The sender Angie wrote it in French! And I totally got it! (Guess my French Tutor did a good job!)

So yeah Bandi, I wasted too much time doing stuffs like this, and spending money for those stuffs but I live every seconds of my life laughing on simple things too.

And you love me for that, don’t you, don’t you!!!

Admit it laaaaaah!

Don’t put your life on hold, no matter what.

Either you must do the work you don’t like or you must live in the city you hate… you can always find a little part of the beauty in everything. Don’t waste even one day being grumpy. (well unless you’re on PMS)

Live everyday happy and grateful.

Cheers,

May, sticking stamps.