Loved. Blessed. Inspired.

Before Bandi proposed to me, he had already told me that he wanted a church wedding, so when I said “yes”, I knew what I said yes too. I knew I had to go through all the catholic administration hassles because well… I’m a non-catholic.

When Bandi and I met the priest for the first time asking for a marriage, he told us to pick either a marriage preparation course or a weekend retreat for couples. And oh I’m so glad Bandi picked the second one.

This Catholic Engaged Encounter was supposed to be just “a thing we had to do in order to get married” but then it turned out to be so meaningful that it was probably one of our turning point as a couple. :)

I can’t blabber the details of the EE (engaged encounter) because they advised us not to blog about it for personal stories they’ve shared and also it is better for anyone to come there clueless and open minded.

The environment is non-threatening and safe for the non-catholic partners. I met a lot of interfaith couple and it was soooo comforting to know there are a lot of couples out there who are struggling like us. The best thing was… The priest and the mentoring couples assured us that inter-faith marriage is just as lovely as same-faith marriage and that we should see the inter-faith marriage as a blessing instead of hindrance. That’s so heart-warming. (In your face, people who said inter-faith marriage won’t work!)

Bandi and I were free from handphones and we focused completely on each other. We were communicating so intensely and intimately. We poured our hearts out in writings. It’s so amazing how Bandi could be so different to tell his feeling when he was writing instead of talking.

I can’t say a lot about the details but I really recommend every catholic/inter-faith with one catholic couple to attend this retreat before they get married. Bandi and I love this retreat and we’re glad we did it. =)

If anyone googled about CEE and directed to this post, listen…

Come with open mind and positive attitude and you will benefit so much from this retreat. =)

One or two things to share with everyone (and also a reminder for me in the future)…

  1. When you feel something’s wrong, always ALWAYS communicate with your partner. Don’t assume. Talk.
  2. To love is a decision. It is a verb. You have made a decision to love. =)
  3. Say “forgive me” when you know you’re wrong and mean it. Lower your ego.
  4. If you can’t solve a problem talking, try writing to each other. It’ll work.
  5. Be the person who always sees good in others.

And this is from a girl who didn’t believe in marriage. How ironic is that? But I’m so glad I erased my doubt because I believe marriage could be wonderful. :)

Cheers,

May, leaving the cynicism. 

 

Where do you wanna get married?

Bandi and I came from different city in Indonesia. He grew up in Palembang and I grew up in Jakarta. I then spent my high school in Bogor and moved to Bandung, where I eventually met him.

During (almost) eight years together, we have spent (almost) half of it in Singapore, a quarter of it in Bandung and another quarter in a Texas-Jakarta Long Distance Relationship.

So, where should we get married?

It is of course a rhetorical question since we’ve known all along where it is.

We would love to get married in Bandung. It would be questionable for most of our friends because hey, it would be easier to my friends and family if we would just get married in Jakarta, right?

But, Bandung…

It is a city where we first met, where we had our first fight, our first kiss, our first dream, our first dance, our first breakup and make up, the first time we claimed “our song” and the other thousand memories. It is true that we have so many sweet memories in Singapore too, however we first moved in together when we were in Singapore, but why Bandung left such a great impact in our life?

The breeze of the wind when we stepped out from the plane brought us back to the days when all we did was dreaming. We didn’t know the real world back then. We just knew that we would change the world. Well, we didn’t really change the world, but we’ve changed each other’s worlds.

It was a night in October 2006 when we had our first kiss. I was having a very bad flu and almost a fever. The first kiss was anti-romantic, but extremely unforgettable. We didn’t have social media back then, so I texted only to my three bestfriend, “I just had my first kiss.” I wouldn’t want the moment to be happened in any other way. It was imperfectly perfect.

It was November 2006 when we had our first dance, literally under the moonlight, with The Blowers’ daughter played at the back. It was supposed to be a party for my campus and I thought it would be the crazy one but they played a romantic song instead. Bandi wore Giordano pink shirt and a pair of jeans and I wore a simple white top embroidered with black flowery pattern. Bandi put his arms around my waist and I rested my head against his shoulder and I swear the world stopped for a moment. He’s been owning my heart pretty much ever since.

We had our very first adventure in Bandung, where we learned to grow up together. We were different people back then. We were restless, fearless, so alive and full of dreams. We initiated our dream to conquer the world together.

We said, we could be anything.

And we believed in it.

We are now still as alive as we were then, but we’ve grown into adults. We have responsibilities and baggage. We had responsibilities and baggage too back then, we just decided not to care.

Oh how I loved you then… And I love you still now. I’m just loving you in a more growing up way now.

We might only send each other love letters every once a year now, or we don’t initiate romantic act as often as we did, but it doesn’t mean we don’t love as much as we did. We know for fact that we can only love more. It is impossible not to love you more each day.

And Bandung… is not only a city. It reminds me of our youth, the time where we were happily crazy, where we opened our heart, letting someone in.

Bandung is the place where I fell in love, not only to you, but to myself too. It is where I started to live to the fullest and where I decided to make my dreams come true.

So yeah getting married in Santorini sounds fun too but hey, Bandung has the memories that are just too priceless to ignore.

Bandung is magical. And if there’s only one place I could always go back to, then Bandung is the one.

I will marry you, in our favorite place on earth… just because.

I guess you can’t agree more. =)

Cheers,

May, going to Bandung soon!

Is everybody capable of falling in love?

I was sitting in the MRT train, on my way home from work. I was tired and it bugged me that I still had to do some house chores when I reached home. I sighed and then I received a text from someone and it instantly put back a smile on my face. I giggled because he gave me a reason to.

I looked up and there was somebody who stared at me, unhappily. If you don’t know this, in Singapore, people like to stare at other people who laugh, giggle or joke with their friends. I always remind myself not to care because we can’t always understand what other people have gone through on their life that they decided to become unhappy.

I get it. This world consists of so many types of people. Happy people, unhappy people, sad people, cheerful people, grumpy people, strong people, weak people, optimists, pessimists, realists, idealists…

But I was wondering… “Is everybody capable of falling in love?”

If love is a universal language, is everybody in this world capable to speak love?

If love is the most powerful thing in the Disney world, does everybody have the chance to acquire it?

I’ve known some people who have never fallen in love in their entire life. Is it because they didn’t find the one, or is it because they are not capable to love?

I didn’t mean “not capable to love” as a bad thing. It’s not because they have bad characters or attitudes because trust me, I’ve known a loooot of bad people who fell in love. By “not capable to love” I meant they don’t open their heart.

Imagine this scenario:

A man, let’s call him “A” has an introvert character. He didn’t like to go out and socialize. He lived his life studying and then graduated and then worked and then in some point his parents found a woman for him to marry and he married that woman. He had kids and then he grew old and he died. But he probably never fell in love, not because he was a bad person or anything. He just didn’t have the chance to fall in love.

Let’s change the scenario to this one:

After graduate, A worked in a office and his colleague was a sweet girl who had the same hobby with A. They talked all the time and they decided to hang out after work and since forever, A finally felt comfortable to talk with someone. He shared so many things with this woman and he fell in love. He asked her to marry him and she said yes. And they shared their lives.

See the point? Your life can be changed with just one moment.

But my question is… is everybody capable of falling in love?

What if A found this woman attractive but in the end he didn’t fall in love because he thought it would be easier just to marry the woman his parents chose? Because he thought falling in love was messy and full of trouble, so he chose not to. How if he resisted to love and spent the rest of his life not to ever love again?

He is NOT unhappy. He might be happy. But he also could be happier. Or is he?

I don’t know. I will never know.

But I really really wish that everyone in this world has the same chance to fall in love. It’s up to them to choose love or not to choose love, but at least I wish everyone has fair chance.

Because to fall in love is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Because to fall in love is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

And I wish wish wish wish wish everybody has fair chance.

Cheers,

May, the hopeless romantic.

Kenapa foto prewed penting untuk orang Indonesia?

Setiap kali orang tau gue dan bandi lagi preparing a wedding, pertanyaan paling sering muncul pertama kali bukannya “kapan?” atau “dimana?” bahkan boro-boro bilang “congratulations!” Pertanyaan yang muncul biasanya “prewed dimana?” atau “udah prewed belum?”

Gue pernah nulis kebingungan gue akan foto prewed dan mengapa itu mesti ada, tapi itu ditulis ketika gue belum engaged dan belum tau apa apa soal gini gono nya wedding.

Makin kesini makin sering muncul pertanyaan “prewed dimana?” seakan2 wedding nya dimana itu nggak sepenting prewed nya. Jawaban gue dan Bandi adalah “kita ga prewed” lalu diikuti dengan senyum manis. Tanggapan mereka biasanya “APAAAH??” dengan mata jum-in jum-out ala sinetron Indonesia.

Di kala masa masa slacking gue, gue pun mulai berpikir, kenapa prewed itu segitu pentingnya? Paket wedding di Palembang yang termasuk foto prewed pun harus dirombak karena Bandi request untuk keluarin foto prewed dr paket krn kita emang nggak prewed. Muncul komen menyayangkan dr pihak keluarga kenapa kita gak foto2 prewed dan dicetak di kanvas gede utk ditaruh di entrance gedung. Gue pun berpikir, apa sih foto prewed itu??? Dari mana muncul kata2 prewed?

Kata “prewed” adalah kependekan dari “pre-wedding” yang artinya “masa sebelum pernikahan” yang artinya lagi adalah masa pacaran. Dan foto prewed bisa di-definisikan sebagai “foto-foto semasa pacaran” bener gak tuh, analisa gue?

Mungkin beberapa orang butuh prewed karena semasa pacaran mereka segitu in love with each other nya sehingga kerjaan nya cuma sayang2an aja so mereka jarang foto-foto atau mungkin masa pacaran mereka terlalu singkat. So intinya mereka butuh foto-foto yang representatif untuk ditaruh di wedding mereka, thus they need a professional photographer to capture their lovey-dovey moment.

Kalo lo bilang kata “prewed” di luar negara Indonesia, pasti kaga ada yang ngerti. Sure, di Singapore ada juga foto2 prewed dengan sebutan “wedding photoshot” dan orang amrik nyebutnya “engagement photoshot” so basically it’s only about the difference of the word, intinya sama: foto berdua dengan pose manis/romantis/cute untuk nantinga ditaruh di wedding.

Gunanya apa? Sudah gue jelaskan diatas. Analisa gue sih foto prewed itu gunanya untuk dipamerin di wedding.

Trus kalo gunanya cuma se-simple itu, kenapa gue dan bandi harus bayar mahal2, harus rempong make-up panas2, bawa2 baju bagus dan ganti baju di wc umum, dll?

Kalo emang gunanya cuma buat ditaruh di entrance gedung, gue punya RIBUAN foto berdua sama Bandi!

Lalu, gue mengambil kesimpulan…. Orang indo itu kan gengsi nya tinggi, makanya yang ditanyain itu adalah lokasi prewed nya, “prewed dimana?”

Semakin jauh/mahal si prewed semakin bergengsi lah si penganten. Ya gak? Iyalaaah ngaku ajaaa!

Destination yang populer untuk foto prewed itu biasanya Bali dan Singapore. Gue bisa ngerti kalo BALI emang cantik lah untuk foto2 romantis begitu, tapi kalo Singapore? Romantis dari maneeee siiiihhhh??!! Yah tapi kan yang penting foto prewed nya di luar negeri, masalah romantis mah nomor dua lah.

Sejujurnya gue banyak liat foto-foto prewed yang lokasinya bagus-bagus, gaunnya bagus-bagus tapi ekspresinya nggak ada booook!!! Sebagus-bagus nya semua props dan kamera yang digunain, si foto nggak akan “kena” kalau ekspresi nya maksa. Menurut gue, lokasi, gaun, make-up itu nggak penting. Yang penting ekspresi si kedua pasangan. It’s just my opinion yah.

Anywaaaay, gue juga menarik kesimpulan kalau pasangan calon pengantin ini sebenernya pengen jalan2 romantis berduaan, tapi kan selama pacaran itu “gak enak” jalan2 berdua, ntar diomongin orang, jadilah pake term “mau pergi foto prewed” LOLOLOL. Kidding… Not!

Well, Bandi and I love traveling together since forever and we never give a fuck of what people say. So at least the memories behind the photos aren’t the trouble of changing gowns in the public toilet. :p Yah intinya segala sesuatu yang udah dieksploitasi di Indonesia itu pasti udah banyak udang di balik bakwan nya lahhh!

So, untuk orang2 yang memandang sedih ke arah Bandi dan gue pas kita jawab “kita gak prewed”, tolong jelaskan kenapa gue dan Bandi mesti buang buang duit kalau kami berdua punya stock foto2 kayak gini???

Photo 2-11-13 11 43 27 pm

The movie marathon set me up in the romantic mood.

Another beach photo, which turned out to be dramatic. Taken on November 2012 at Boracay Island, Philippines. Even though the photo is heavily edited nothing is photoshopped. We used self-timer and didn't expect that it would be this good. =)

 

Photo 1-11-13 12 11 35 am

Photo 4-6-10 10 26 48 am

Photo 21-10-13 10 45 53 pm

Photo 23-12-13 10 27 53 am

Photo 16-10-13 7 37 58 pm

 

Photo 16-10-13 7 42 41 pm

tumblr imperfect

Love unconditionally

Lokasi tempat eksotis: checked!

Pose romantis: checked!

Editan luar biasa: checked!

Smokin hot people in the photo: checked!

So yeah, Bandi thought we didn’t need to waste money by doing prewed lahhh. But anyway, jangan diambil serius lah post ini yaaa, gue cuma iseng aja. Nggak ada maksud mau offence orang2 yang foto prewed di Spore. ;)

This post is only for fun bitching.

Bandi and I did our “save the date” photoshoot in Singapore too, come on. Dan kalau mau disebut prewed boleh juga lah. Bandi and I did a photoshot for fun with our lovely friend/photographer. His girlfriend begged us to do prewed photos for fun and if we didn’t do that she wanted to jump off the bridge. So yeah, we did this to save someone’s life. That’s you, Fefe! I saved your life!

I will spill the what-so-called pre-wed photos later on okay?

But for now, let’s just say Bandi and I have already had too many stock of photos to use on our wedding. :p

Cheers,
May, who loves taking photos too much.

If I never met Bandi

Sometimes I play what-ifs with Bandi and he (unwillingly) played along. The what-ifs were various from “what if you could only live by eating only tuna forever?” (Bandi hates tuna smell) or “what if I had a growing penis, would you still marry me?” to the serious what-ifs like “what if I couldn’t have children?” Or “what if I had cancer?”

But the most occurrence what-if question was “what if we never met?” How would our lives be?

You guys must know that I’m head over heels in love with Bandi. I mean, I don’t only love him, I LOVE HIM, with capitals.

So how would our lives be without each other?

Sadly to say, the answers weren’t so romantic… If we never met, I would probably met somebody else and that guy probably would fall in love with me so hard because well, I’m adorable, and then if I loved him so much too then we’d be in relationship. But most importantly, if I never met him, I’d probably be a serial dater, and of course I would work for UN, probably lived somewhere like Congo or India, to lead a Unicef team to build school, empowering unskilled women and stuffs like that. I would move around every two years to different parts of the world. I think it was the single life I’ve always wanted.

What about Bandi? Well he said he would not go to US because he wasn’t so motivated to “see the world” before he met me. He would probably finish his degree and went back to his hometown, found a girl and married one.

But then…. I realized something just now.

Our answers were not true at all!!!

Come on!!! It is so impossible that Bandi was created to be someone else’s husband. I mean, I bet all the money in the world that he was created custom-made for me!

So I was thinking… If we never met back then in college, then we would definitely meet sometime later in our lives. Let me make up some scenarios…

1. What if my father didn’t come back from Australia and I was born there and lived there for the rest of my life?

Well in this case, I think Bandi would probably still go to US for his college because he got the scholarship, and then he continued to work there and in some point his company allocated him to Australia, and then we finally met maybe somewhere in Sydney. I was walking my dog and my dog walked towards him and I dressed my dog in Italian Jersey and we started conversation with “you like football, huh?” and we fell in love.

2. What if Bandi was accepted at NTU and went to Singapore for collage?

I would still be living my life almost the same. I probably didn’t go for UN because I needed to support my family financially so I preferred to work in Singapore. Bandi had finished his college and continued working in Singapore too and at some point we met, probably in an Indonesians outing in East Coast park. We rode bikes and then I saw Bandi’s Juventus key chain and I mocked him and then we had a conversation about football and we fell in love.

3. What if I never got the scholarship in college and I had to drop-out from it before I met Bandi?

I would probably be working my ass off in my twenties and would live in Jakarta all my life, while Bandi continued his college in Bandung and went back to his hometown to continue his family’s business. My high school friend, Septian married Bandi’s high school friend, Erlina and we were both invited to their wedding. We met on that wedding and we started the conversation with “you like football, huh?” and we fell in love.
(P.s. Septian and Erlina are true characters and they did have their wedding last month. True story.)

4. What if Bandi dropped out from junior high school and became a punk and he lived in Palembang of all his life?

I would still be living my life almost the same but then in 2009, when I was working in Femina I was sent to Palembang to cover the Indonesian beauty pageant and when I visited one of the good pempek (fish cake) stall I met Bandi. Bandi was riding his motorbike and I saw his Juventus painted helmet and I commented about it, “you like football, huh?” and then we had the conversation about football and we fell in love.

5. What if Bandi never came back from US and never asked me back?

This would be the saddest of all because I would think he didn’t want to be with me anymore. I would probably face a very difficult time to move on but then I would eventually make it. Three years later I received a scholarship from an American Fine Arts college and I moved there. And I wrote in my facebook status, “Living my dream”, checked in Atlanta, USA. Bandi read it and took his car keys, drove all night from Austin to Atlanta and the next morning when I opened my door, there he was, standing still and looking straight at me, saying “hey you.” And then we fell in love all over again.

Not only this post has proven that I’m a drama queen and a good story maker, it’s also trying to say that love will always find the way.

I believe that it is impossible for Bandi and I not to meet. I may believe in fate, I may not. I don’t know. But I know somehow Bandi and I were meant for each other. If we didn’t meet nine yeas ago, then it would be another time. But I’m sure that we eventually would. We would always find each other.

It’s true that I am a romantic and I’m not scared to show off my love to Bandi. I think it is a good thing because before I met him, I was a skeptic. I’ve always been a romantic, but I had a trust issue back then. I loved the feeling of falling in love but didn’t really trust anybody to fully read my soul. That was probably why I didn’t believe in marriage too. However, I’m so glad I opened myself to Bandi and I know this sounds so Disney-like movie but it’s true that…

Love is the most powerful thing on earth.

I’m gonna share a personal story which really moved me. I had a bad relationship with my brother. He abused me physically and mentally when we were kids. I never loved him and I blamed him for all the bad things happened to me up until my teenage years. He apologized and then did bad things to me and my family again and then apologized and then screwed up and apologize and then screwed up and repeat a thousand times.

Four years ago I’ve had enough and I confronted him. I asked him to never disturb me and my mom again. We fought and he kicked my stomach and he threatened to kill me. Three months later I moved out from Jakarta to Singapore. I’ve never talked to him again for so long.

Last week, he sent me a facebook message. He apologized for everything he’s done to me in the past. I had just finished my make up and I cried (Shit I have to re-do my mascara.) He always apologized before, but somehow this time he seemed sincere. He apologized without asking money, or things (in the past he apologized when he was out of cash.)
A week after that my sister texted me that my brother is undergoing a medication for a serious illness. I was sad. I never thought I would ever care about anything happened to him.

I never talk about my brother. Most of the stories were sad but I guess it’s never too late to love someone. For all my life, I’ve never loved him. Last week was the first time I heard “I love you my sister” from him. It tore down the wall I had built between us instantly. I had forgiven him and decided to learn how to love a brother, the thing I never thought I would ever do. And most importantly, I let myself to trust him.

I was so hurt I never thought I could ever trust anyone, especially guys. Meeting Bandi was the best thing that happened to me. Not only he loves me unconditionally, he taught me how to love back, how to let other people to love you the way you are, be honest with your feeling and not to be scared. Loving is trusting. You open your heart to a risk of hurt or betrayal. But to love is a wonderful feeling. It is so powerful it can change your life.

I watched Frozen the other week and I was sobbing like crazy because the movie was so damn good and it taught us that love indeed is a powerful thing. You just have to use it right.

Back to my what-if question, “What if I never met Bandi?”

I would never be born in a world where I would never meet Bandi because his purpose of life is to give my life meaning, and my purpose of life is to give him dreams. Universe meant it to happen.

Oh and I’m sooooo glad I did meet him. :)

“So you like football, huh?” and I played his keychain.

“Yes. Juventus!”

“Ew, bad choice.”

“You?”

“Parma!”

“HUAHAHAHAHA” he mockingly laughed.

I was angry and I accidentally broke his keychain. From that moment on, I was “the Parma girl who broke my keychain” for him and he was “that annoying juventus guy who had a cute keychain” for me.

The rest was history.

Cheers,

May, loving bravely.

How to make the perfect proposal

This post is personally written for all the men out there! ;)

It’s been three months since the proposal and I still can remember every detail of the sweetness. I must say it’s probably one of the greatest days in my life and I would love to remember it forever. And I bet every men would love to create one perfect day for their loved ones too. So let me help a little bit.

Bandi asked me yesterday, “If you were a guy, how would you propose your girlfriend?” and I told him it depends on what’s my girlfriend like because proposal must be personal. My proposal might not be perfect for somebody else and vice versa. I asked him why he asked about that and he said since the proposal, some guys have asked him how to make the perfect proposal. Oh, isn’t that cute…?

Bandi also asked if it would be a better proposal if he proposed to me in Paris. I told him I don’t know that and I will never know because it didn’t happen but if you asked me whether I had the perfect proposal then the answer is yes. =)

Everything about my proposal is so personal and specially planned for me. That is why it was so perfect.

So guys, let me tell you…

how to make the perfect proposal…

1. Make sure she’s ready for marriage.

Don’t propose on the third date for god’s sake! LOL. My ideal timeline would be after at least 3 years being together. Make sure you’ve known her that well and make sure you know she wants marriage! If she doesn’t want it, try to make her want it with you! Have a talk about where this relationship is going and stuffs like that before you really propose. Just make sure that both of you are on the same page! If you two haven’t, then abort the plan!

This happened to me and Bandi. 8 months before the proposal he surprised me with a trip to Bandung and he wanted to propose but then I told him not to because I was still not ready for marriage so he aborted the plan. Just have faith that the right thing will happen on the right time. Be patience. =)

2. Location is everything!

There are two things that you must think about when you decided to propose to her: Where and what ring. We’ll talk about the ring later.

Think about the place she loves the most. Remember that you must elevate her mood in order to make the perfect proposal so you must bring her to a place that would give her a good mood. Some of the ideas are: her favorite restaurant or a restaurant where you had your first date or when you told her you love her or stuff like that. Beach, if she loves beach. Somewhere high and romantic like Singapore flyer (for example) but if she’s afraid of height (like me) don’t do that! A garden with so many candles or any dim-lit place with so many candles.

Another idea from the comments: Museum! This would be the perfect place for the history/art buffs. What about Disneyland? Who wouldn’t want to be proposed in Disneyland! =D

Whenever the proposal venue is, it would be more awesome if you took her on a flight. You surprised her with a flight ticket and bring her to her favorite city. It doesn’t need to be Paris or Maldives lah, somewhere memorable for both of you would do the trick.

Bandi did surprise me with a flight ticket and the feeling was… so awesome. He chose our favorite restaurant where we used to watch sunset on New Year’s eve. =)

3. Lighting, song and other personal touch.

Now that you’ve brought her to the venue, you may add personal touch such as your song with her, or the video that you prepared for her. Video is highly recommended because trust me, no matter how suck your video editing skill is, she will be touched and cry! I did! Song is also good enough to elevate mood. =) And don’t forget one special magic to elevate the mood, lighting!!! Some said most of babies were made out of good lighting. LOL

If she loves flowers and you know her favorite flowers, it is also highly recommended to give her flowers. Flowers are known to elevate mood too. =) My favorite flower is red rose (yeah I know, so predictable) so Bandi gave me 77 stalks of red roses to reflect our seven years together. I didn’t know why he didn’t just give me seven stalks, it would save him some bucks. LOL.

Personal touch like riddles, photos, cute messages, anything that can make her smile and happy. =)

Bandi did seven chain message because it was our seven anniversary when he proposed and he wrote riddles inside each envelopes (because I’m playful) of the things we never do before. Just try to be creative and do something that she will love.

Bandi also asked me to dance because I told him once that my idea of a perfect date must involve dance. ;)

4. You’re not a superman. Ask for friend’s help.

If you’re not that creative or if you’re stuck, don’t be ashamed to look for help. Try to reach out to her bestfriends. You can ask them for opinion or idea, but hopefully you created the whole idea by yourself because you’re marrying her so you must know how to make her happy. If you don’t then you’re screwed for the rest of your life. Asking for a help is allowed if you can’t do the showtime yourself.

Bandi asked my friend, Gery for a help, to pick up the roses and videotape the proposal.

5. The perfect ring.

If all of above failed to impress her, I bet the perfect ring will! Women are designed to be weak of sparkling things. LOL. I used to think I’m not a jewelry kind of gal but then I also fell in love with my ring. :p

First of all, it is okay to ask your girlfriend her dream engagement ring. You may ask her what kind of ring she want. Don’t worry that she will find out about the proposal. Everyone knows you will propose her eventually but she will not know when and where. Don’t take risk on this one because the ring will be stuck with her forever so you better give her something pretty to look at every single day of her life.

Ask her what kind of rock she wants? Diamond is probably the most common choice but she may ask for other type of jewels such as Ruby, Amethyst, Emerald, etc. Then what kind of gold? White gold? Yellow gold? Rose gold? If she can’t decide what kind of ring she wanted, try to understand her style. Is she vintage, classy, whimsical? If you still can’t decide, you may buy the Solitaire Diamond Ring. It’s the safe choice but also guaranteed will impress her. I know it seems like a lot of work and a lot of research but it’s gonna be once in a lifetime so it’ll be worth it.

Remember this: you don’t need to buy her the big carats. It’s not about how expensive the ring is but about how it suits her personality. If she truly loves you she won’t care about the size. =)

For my case, I’m that kind of girl who knows what she wants so I told Bandi the details of my dream ring. LOL.

6. Take photos!

My only mistake was probably the fact that I didn’t take many photos. But maybe it was because I was so shocked and speechless. Bandi did videotape the proposal moment but because the light was so dim, the video was like a total blackout. We only took two photos before we went out from the restaurant. It was taken also because my friend reminded us to take one. if he didn’t remind us to take photos, I might not have anything to remember the day by. So, remember to take photos! Lots of photos!

7. Do you really have to get on one knee?

YES YOU DO! LOL

No seriously, don’t ask this stupid question. It’s not a real proposal if you don’t get on one knee. I know it will look stupid and silly but it will melt your girlfriend’s heart, SERIOUSLY!

When the showtime has finally come, take out your ring box and get on one knee. You may say sweet words before you say the magic words.

What Bandi said was… (not in exact words, because I forgot the exact words) “We have been together for seven years and it’s been a great journey and I want to keep doing it for the rest of my life, so…” and then the magic words, “will you marry me?”

By the time you say the magic words he’s probably already crying like hell and let the ring do the magic. ;)

Good luck!

8. Commitment

This is the most important thing of all. Take note that after she said yes, she’s no longer your girlfriend. She will be your future wife, the one you’ll be spending the rest of your life with so make sure you are fully committed to her. From the moment she said yes until you take your last breath, she will be your top priority. It won’t be too much of a task when you love her that much. =)

The aftermath

The first thing we did after the proposal was finding the wedding date. I have this idealism that somebody is not really engaged until there are a ring and a date. So we straightaway decided on a date. Thankfully it wasn’t so difficult. =)

The second thing to do was telling your parents and close friends. With social media these days, it would be easier to just post it on facebook. Please take note that you have already asked your girlfriend’s parents to take care of her and propose to her before you actually propose to her. This is very important. It’s a good manner to show that you’re being serious.

The third thing to do is… start planning the wedding and have fun! =)

When to propose and when not to propose?

I know not everyone do proposal in Asia, even though I must say it’s getting more and more popular. So there are pros and cons about proposal, however it is individual preference to do or not do it.

Not to propose

Some relationship has already started with too serious commitment which means from the first time they got together they already knew they would get married, so I think proposal is not necessary for the case. Some also prefer the proposal to be held between family, which we call it engagement where the ring exchanges is witnessed by the whole family. If the proposal will be held this way I don’t think personal proposal is still necessary.

To propose

If your family is not so strict about culture and tradition, personal proposal is necessary. Why do I think it’s necessary? Because once you said yes, it’s like the whole new commitment. You’re getting married. You’re saying yes not to the ring, but to marriage. I think it’s necessary to be committed to each other first before you tell your whole family.

But whichever your choice is, the most important thing is the commitment for the marriage itself. =)

Is the woman allowed to propose?

YES! Of course woman is allowed to propose. However, it is advisable to have the non-public proposal because usually men don’t like to be seen being proposed. You know men and their huge ego. People would mock him for not having the balls so better to have private proposal in a private venue.

Soooooo, I think this post pretty much explains I’m in a very good mood. LOL. Why am I in a good mood? Well, yesterday I was staring at my ring and mumbled, “It’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever had in my life.”

And Bandi replied, “really? I think YOU are the prettiest.”

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

line-cony-special-edition1
If you’re stuck with ideas you can always email me for proposal ideas. Trust me, I have millions of them! Remember, I’m a self-claimed romantic. ;) I always love to hear love stories and help to develop them.

My friends usually look for me for anniversary ideas or gift ideas and I’m always happy to help simply because I find it fun to do things like surprises and gifts and parties. =)

Good luck with your love story! I bet it’s beautiful!

Cheers,

May, the self proclaimed romantic.

Mumpung masih jadi pacar

Katanya kalo udah menikah itu si laki bakal lebih cuek dan nggak se-attentive waktu pacaran, so sekarang mumpung Bandi masih pacar gue, mau gue eksploitasi dulu ah kelucuannya, ketololannya, kesotoy-annya dan penderitaannya menjadi pacar seorang May yang super demanding.

Kemaren ini gue lagi pencet-pencet remote TV trus berhenti di satu channel dimana lagi ada credit film berjalanan di layar dengan lagu Can’t smile without you nya Barry Manilow. Gue langsung “Ih, film apaan ih? Pasti film romantis niiih! Yah udah abis dong!”

Trus Bandi staring at the screen for about 10 seconds ngeliatin nama beberapa cast nya kayak Selma Hayek (cuma itu yang gue inget) dan take note yah ini cuma nama cast aja yang muncul bukan nama role nya. Bandi tiba-tibe nyeletuk “Hellboy 2.”

Gue bales, “Sotoy!!!” terus langsung google jadwal film channel tersebut dan guess what, ternyata bener dong!!!

“You’re such a nerd!!!”

Gue suka bertanya-tanya, sebenernya si Bandi tuh ganteng nggak sih? Perasaan waktu gue pertama kenalan sama dia, dia nggak ganteng sama sekali, kenapa sekarang jadi ganteng? Ganteng banget malah! Ternyata benar, teman, cinta itu buta! Hahahahah

Gue sering tanya ke Bandi, “Ban, lo sebenarnya ganteng nggak sih?”

“Enggak kok, aku gak ganteng.” Dia jawab sok humble.

“Kok di mataku kamu ganteng banget?! Jawab kamu pake pelet apaaa?!!”

Terus kemaren gue lagi sleepover sama si Strawberry, dia nunjukkin gue foto kolega nya sambil bilang, “eh kolega gue yang ini mirip Bandi deh.”

Gue langsung semangat dong liat fotonya trus protes dalam hitungan detik. “ENGGAK MIRIP SAMA SEKALI!!! Kok jahat banget sih lo, encek2 gini lu bilang mirip Bandi?!”

Lalu Strawberry pun membela diri, “Yeee.. dua puluh tahun lagi Bandi bakal jadi gini, saat dia udah tua dan gendut.”

“Eh, jangan-jangan Bandi emang penampakan aslinya kayak gitu ya? JANGAN JANGAN GUE UDAH BUTA?! Tiiidaaaaakkk!!!”

Terus gue cerita ke Bandi dan Bandi komen, “Hmm… Either kamu emang udah buta atau Strawberry yang kurang ajar.”

Pasti deh si Strawberry kurang ajar. Pasti. Pasti. *meyakinkan diri*

Tapi beberapa hari yang lalu ada teman message gue dan bilang, “Setelah bertahun-tahun gue penasaran, kalo Bandi tuh terlihat mirip seseorang, akhirnya gue temukan. Bandi mirip itu tuh, yang main At the Dolphin Bay waktu jaman kita SMA!”

Setelah di-google ternyata nama doi Ambrose Hui dan gue ngakak setengah mati, plus bela-belain bikin foto ini:

Makanya jangan suka bilang nggak suka orang cina.

Kena batunya kan ngatain cowok cina.

Gue kirim ke temen deket dan sambil ngakak bareng gue inget dulu gue sering bilang gue gak demen cowok-cowok cina di drama-drama Taiwan ini dan selalu ngarep suami gue orang Italia yang tanned dan sexy. Apa daya dikasihnya begono sama universe. Hahahaha. Setelah disadarkan sang teman kalo Bandi penampakan aslinya seperti cowok-cowok cina Taiwan/Korea gitu barulah gue sadar, cinta itu emang buta! Karena di otak gue Bandi tuh se-ganteng Henry Cavill! HAHAHAHAH (Nah ini mah udah jelas sodara-sodara… Gue emang buta.)

Jadi pesan moral dari cerita ini adalah…. Cinta itu memang buta sodara-sodara!

Berlanjutlah ke cerita beberapa minggu lalu ketika Bandi dan gue lagi ngomongin wedding lalu gue nyeletuk, “Eh katanya wedding itu adalah hari dimana I become princess for a day. I don’t want that.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to be a princess for a day! I wanna be your princess for EVERYDAY in my life. Camkan itu Bandi! I am a princess for everyday in YOUR LIFE.” Huwahahaah! (lalu diikuti dengan tawa menggelegar cetar membahana)

Bandi was like… “what the hell have I got myself into?”

Sebagai pacar, Bandi cukup kreatif dan maksimal dalam menggunakan LINE sticker.

I asked him to go home after football because I already made him breakfast.

I asked him to go home after football because I already made him breakfast.

Asked for a permission to play football on hazy day.

Asked for a permission to play football on hazy day.

I have one more funny story but this would only be funny if you have LINE’s sticker yang Cony and Brown Secret date. (Never mind, I snapshot and post it here)

Jadi waktu itu di Singapore semua orang dapet gratisan sticker ini, terus Bandi langsung panggil gue di LINE, dengan noraknya dia kirimin gue semua sticker yang ada.

Page One

Page One

He said, “Basically I have already done everything Brown has done in page one.”

Page Two.

Page Two.

Then he sent another batch of stickers. “And also page two.”

Page Three.

Page Three.

Another batch of stickers, “And some in page three.”

Page Four.

Page Four.

Another batch of stickers, “And page four.”

And then he stopped. I asked him, “What about page five?”

He replied, “Hmm… Intriguing. But I won’t go there.”

HAHAHAHA. One hell of smart guy!

Wanna know what is Page Five? Here it is!

Page Five.

Page Five. LOL

Jadi, selesai sudah posting-an saya yang cukup tidak berbobot. (Salahkan pledge gue untuk post a week!) Lumayan buat keketawa-an dan jadi bikin pengen buru-buru pulang ketemu si Bandi yang lucu, sotoy, dan super ganteng (refer to bacaan kedua.)

Tha Tha for now!

Cheers,
May, who is blindly in love.

Preparing to be Mr and Mrs Cahaya

Ten months to our wedding day… Beside picking the perfect flowers, the perfect gown and the perfect entrée, there is one thing I consider to be the most important thing for preparing myself to be Mrs. Cahaya, that is: having the talk.

The talk, when we discuss about how our finances would be planned, how we’re gonna raise our kids, how important sexual relationship would take part, where are we gonna be retired, who is gonna take care of our parents, and so on and so on.

I read this blog about a week ago and I have waited for a perfect time to ask Bandi to do the 100 questions. He had been busy with work lately so I asked him to spend the whole Saturday with me. He thought that we would only talk about the London itinerary which was half true but I had an ulterior motive too.

Actually I told him about the book on Saturday morning and that I had the extracted 100 questions that I wanted to discuss with him, but he went suddenly defensive and said something like “Why are you still questioning me? I thought we’re passed that.”

I told him not to judge before he even read the questions. This book was supposed to help us to prepare for marriage. He insisted that he was ready and he didn’t need any shrink to tell him about marriage. I kept arguing with him that I believe in human brain and logic for preparing the marriage. I know heart is number one to follow when you wanted to marry someone, whether you love him or not, but brain is what keeps you IN THE MARRIAGE.

In the end, I decided to not argue more and just dropped it.

We went to Starbucks for another brainstorming session of our Europe Trip. After we finished our UK itinerary, he apologized for being such an ass earlier, I said I’m not in the mood anymore for discussing the book’s question, but then Bandi bought us a Les Miserablés tickets for our London trip so yeah, I was suddenly in the good mood. LOL.

We moved to a restaurant and ate and started the first question. It was quite fun, and then we continued to the next question and the next question and the next question and Bandi admitted it, this is fun.

Here’s the 100 questions from the book, if you want to download it and do it with your fiance/fiancée.

Now, let me sum up the best long talk I had with Bandi last weekend. (We actually paused the questions because there wasn’t enough time on Saturday and we continued on Sunday) We spent about total of 10 hours discussing the questions, moved from Dim Sum Restaurant to Ramen place to Fruit Tart. So yeah, it was one sweet (and fattening) weekend.

First of all, it hit me that there were things that I didn’t expect Bandi would say and it calmed me down that there were things that Bandi knew about me so well that he could speak my words. It was like a fun rollercoaster ride.

We argued a lot in a part of how we are gonna be raising our kid(s). He kept saying like “If he skipped school..” or “I will ask him to…” and then I snapped, “Why do you keep using male pronouns?”

“Because I want a son!”

“That is so not fair! So if we had a daughter, you would so gonna resent her?”

“Of course I won’t….” silence, “BUT, I would love a son.”

“SEE? You want a son because you want to play football with him. You thought girls can’t play football!” And then there was a never-ending argument about a child that wasn’t even born yet.

And there was this question:

“Have there been times when you were uncomfortable with the way I behaved with the opposite sex? If so, when and what did I do?”

We both said “No.” And I love that. =)

Bandi and I never had any issue for going out with opposite sex. I have a lot of guy friends and he has a lot of female friends and we love how we are totally comfortable with each other’s friends.

And there was this question:

“How are we different? Could this be a source of future conflict? Do our differences complement each other?”

We took so long to discuss this one because sometimes our differences are the source of conflict while the other times, they complement each other. So this is tricky, however I suggest not to stop the discussion and jump to the next question if we were not fully satisfied with the outcome. In terms of characters, we complement each other. When we travel, Bandi is good with maps, I’m not. Bandi can’t plan, I can. Bandi is messy, I am organized. Bandi is physically strong, I am not really. I always think that we are perfect as travel buddy. When we cook, Bandi is usually the executor, he was the one who cooked while I prepped. When he finished with knife, I would at once washed it. It’s just automatic in everything we do like we’re in a team.

However we are different in our logic. There were so many times when our logical differences caused a big argument and often a fight. Come to think of it now, I can’t even name one… I have this tendency to forget what we were fighting about. So I guess, no matter how different we are, we would always find ways to compromise and meet in the middle.

And there were more questions:

“Would you prefer to live in the city, the country, or by the beach? Why?”

Before I answered it, Bandi spoke for me, “you would prefer city. You’re a city girl.” and then he grinned. He’s right. “So we settle for that now.”

“If we are unable to have children, should we adopt?”

Both answered without hesitation, “YES.”

“How would you react if our son or daughter told us they were gay?”

We actually talked about this before and we both tried to accept it for the sake of our kid.

“What are your views on pornography?”

Bandi answered easily, “I love it.” LOL.

I was okay with that anyway.

There were a lot of questions related to how our parents treated each other. Sadly in this part, we both didn’t have a lot of things to learn from but it was nice for us to figure it out ourselves. Like how are we gonna ground our children, what justifies our kid to be grounded and how much freedom we would give our children, etc. It’s good to know that Bandi and I are prepared for this, even though we don’t have that much references.

We talked a lot in this area, especially when this question came: “How did your family resolve conflicts when you were growing up? Do you approve or disapprove of that method? what will you change or not change to resolve conflicts in your future family?”

We disapproved most of the method that both our families used to resolve the conflict and we were thinking what was the better way to do it and discussed the sample case.

And then there was this question:

“Is there anything about marriage that frightens you?”

Bandi said “No.” And I answered, “The concept that I must live together with only one person for the rest of my life.”

He asked again, “That frightens you? And don’t you think that’s a problem?”

“Here’s the thing. I also always feel that I can never get enough of you. I always want to be close to you. Never once in my life I want to be somewhere else but to be here with you. So the concept of living together with ONLY WITH you for the rest of my life really excites me. That’s a paradox, right?”

This morning, a close friend texted me, “Now that you’re getting married, are you ready?”

I answered, “100% ready. Can’t wait to be Mrs. Cahaya.” And then we talked about how this is so funny. Two years ago, with the same guy, the same condition, I said I’m not ready. Then why am I ready now?

Then the paradox concept becomes clearer. Let’s say there is an apple, half rotten, half juicy, sweet and ripe. Two years ago, I saw the apple from the north side, where I could only see the rotten part, and then I was moving slowly towards the south side so I was leaving the rotten part and started to see the juicy part. Now, I’m fully standing in the south and looking at the juice, sweet apple. The apple never changes a bit. The apple is a marriage.

There are always bad and good things about marriage. Two years ago, I preferred to only see the bad side, thus the concept of living with only one person frightens me. Now, I prefer to see the good side, so I think not only the concept is frightening, it is also exciting.

The concept of marriage itself never changes. I change my point of view.

The apple itself never moved. I moved my position.

Enough with that, let’s move to the other question, this one’s a funny one:

“What is nagging? Do I nag? How does it make you feel?”

I answered first, “Nope, you almost never nag.” And then Bandi showed his smug face “You nag almost all the time. Here’s an example. Bandi I’m hungry, come home fast.

“Then just tell me you couldn’t come home fast.”

“Then you would say… It’s okay then, I would just starve… with your dramatic voice,”

And after I laughed so hard, I told him, “Seriously, next time you could just say no and go hang out with your friends.”

“I don’t want to do that because I promised long time ago that you’re my top priority.”

Awwwwwwww!!!!

And then, here’s the last part of the summary:

“What health problems do you have?”

Bandi asnwered, “I have a heart problem.”

And I was shocked.

“My heart is full of you, that’s the problem.”

HAHAHAHAHA! Nice move, Bandi! But you’re still paying the Ramen! XD

After we finished the 100 questions, now Bandi wants it more so I placed an order for the book in bookdepository.

I can’t wait for the book to arrive!!! I will post again when the book arrives, okay?!

For all the bride and groom to be, I may not be able to share tips for choosing wedding venue or wedding favors and stuff but I hope this question would do you good. This is one of the best preparation for your marriage. Don’t skip this part. Enjoy that deep conversation with the love of your life! ;)

Cheers,

May, the happy fiancée.

Effortlessly Beautiful

Disclaimer:

This is a repost I made back then on June 2012. I feel like bringing this post back to the current timeline because I had done something terrible that I’m not proud of. I just want to remind everyone (and myself) that we don’t need to feel insecure (even though you’re on PMS) of what other people said. This post brings smile on my face, I hope it does the same to you. =)

Growing up, I’ve never been the pretty one. I grew up okay, with crooked teeth and pimples on my face. My skin has always been tanned because I was always out, playing basketball or chasing kites. I was so freakin happy, I didn’t realize I was physically unattractive. My mom never taught me how to take care of my skin or how to do hair and stuff and my sister went off for college. I was growing up with so many guy friends and not so girly girl friends. I never had boyfriends until high school.

I fixed my teeth with braces and tried to comb my hair everyday (Yes I was so carefree I didn’t even comb my hair sometimes) when I reached puberty and I was hopelessly having major crush with a guy in high school. Anyway I never feel beautiful. I only know and feel that I am a very cool girl that guys like to hang out with, talk about football with and of course they would chase my friends instead of me.

Comes to think of it, I’m so thankful with the way I grew up. I never overrate beauty. I always believe it’s what’s inside that matter, that physical appearance can  deceive you. Unfortunately I was taking it too seriously by never taking care of my body, which is wrong. It is true that physical appearance can’t tell who you really are, but it is good to look presentable. But beauty is another thing, it is what’s inside. It is the way you laugh and the way you appreciate what really matters in life. And if no guys could see it, then he’s probably not the one.
I appeared to be a little cynical about love back then. (Come on I was teenage and having fun with my girlfriends was all I wanted.) So having a boyfriend never came across my mind. Seeing so many heartbroken stories and facts that guys were assholes and jerks, I thought I would never meet my prince charming. Until I was 20, there were still no prince charming coming with white horse, but deep down inside I still believed in love like fairy tale. Everynight I was daydreaming and creating love story plot. It changes everyday, but the prince would always the same. The guy who will see me the way I am.
Meeting Bandi was a lifechanging moment of my life. I finally understand the feeling of being beautiful without even trying.

It’s true that make up could make you look pretty, but does it make you feel pretty? I admit I wear make up since I was in college, once in a while. Whenever me and my girls went clubbing or attended a party or special events. Make up does make you look presentable, and yeah realllllly make you look good in the photos. But wearing make up every single day of your life is sad. That way, make up is not something fancy to boost up your presentation points, that way, make up is a mask that you wear everyday because you don’t love the way you look originally. When you’re wearing make up to gym, you know you have a problem.

I can’t judge that everyone who wears make up have a low self esteem. I know for some people doing make up is hobby, while some others do have a problem with self esteem.
So since we talk about beauty  I believe we must have stumbled on make up pep talk. Ok, so beauty is overrated. Why do girls want to look pretty? They are either want boys to notice them, or they want to take photos and post it on facebook.
Let me tell you the moment when I feel pretty the most. It was drizzling and i haven’t showered since morning. I was so tired of working my temp job attending ticket counter. At first I didnt know anyone staring at me from afar. But then I realize Bandi has been standing there (I dont know how long) waiting for my shift to end. He smiled at me when I looked at him. He has this look on his eyes that I can’t describe with words. I felt so beautiful by the way he looked at me. He stared at me like he never see a beautiful girl before. This may sound very stupid, but in my life til date, I never feel prettier than that moment. I wanted to describe more about the moment, but I stopped on my keyboard just now, didn’t know what to type. The bottom line is, I felt so beautiful just by the way he looked at me. It’s something magical and unexplainable. (I know unexplainable is not even a word. So, see? no words can describe I have to make up a word!)
And anyway, since that day, I always be effortlessly beautiful.
After that moment, I never have issue with my self esteem, with my pimples or my crooked teeth. When people comments about them, I just said, it’s how I look, like it or not.
When shallow people I met preach me to buy expensive skin care, or push me to lose weight or ask me to stop playing under the sun because I’m so tanned, I never listen to them. I only smile and nod and sometime say “you think so?” so they won’t feel rejected.
But the truth is, there is only one person out there whose thought of my beauty I really mind. And I know in his eyes, I will always be beautiful no matter what. So why bother of what other people say?

Beauty is overrated. Magazines and E! make people think that being beautiful is about fair skin, perfect hair, flawless make up and skinny body. Well people have to start differentiate between beautiful and presentable. If you’re an actress, of course you have to look presentable so people will enjoy seeing you and adore your beauty. But do we expect normal people to be that expensive-pretty too? No way we cannot afford that silliness, financially and mentally. We’re normal people! We just need to find someone who sees us the way we are. And then, we will always be effortlessly beautiful.

Remember what Dr.Seuss said, …for those who mind dont matter and who matter dont mind. :)

Someday all the pretty girls will be old and wrinkly and all the botox in this world can’t save their perfect faces. But you could always have that guy who always sees you with that sparkling eyes, timelessly.

He will see you, in your late seventies, just as beautiful as when you were twenty. No matter what, you will always be effortlessly beautiful in his eyes.
Once you’ve found that guy, don’t ever let go. He’s the one.
I have always been a believer. Love is what changes my life from a sucky cynical crap to what I am now (still the same crap. LOL)
Written with smile,
May.16th June 2012

Jesse and Celine

This post starts with a conversation with a friend.

Him: Have you watched Before Midnight?

Me: No, I haven’t. Is it good? (So afraid that it would ruin the two pre-quels)

Yes. It is.

(exhale in relieve)

I did re-watch Before Sunrise a couple weeks ago. Tonight I will re-watch Before Sunset to prepare for the finale, Before Midnight.

Yeah, you should.

My favorite is still Before Sunrise though.

No way! I like Before Sunset more!

Why?

Before Sunset is more real and they are truly re-connected.

And then we argued for a while… on and on and on about the movie.

Well, I assume everybody has already watched Before Sunrise and Before Sunset, if not, then you should. NOW. Seriously, NOW. It’s my all-time favorite movie, to be followed by “A Lot Like love” and oh please stop me or I could list out all my favorite Romantic movies.

I’ve always thought that my favorite from these two is Before Sunrise. The conversation was so deep and it felt like they were trying to tell each other as much as they could since they would be parting soon.

Anyway, I watched Before Sunset again the other night and I hate to admit it but I switched my favorite from Before Sunrise to Before Sunset. My friend was right when he said they are re-connected. How did I forget this?

The chemistry between Jesse and Celine had never been questioned since the first movie, when they met in the train to Vienna. The whole movie was beautiful, romantic and epic. I first watched it when I was 19 years old. And then I watched the sequel and I didn’t really like it because it was the reality.

Jesse and Celine met again 9 years after the Vienna night and Jesse was married with one kid and Celine was a slightly-depressed neurotic environmentalist.

The weird thing is… now that I watched it in my almost 30 age, I love Before Sunset better, because it’s more real and they no longer live in a fantasy and the connection between the two of them are stronger than ever.

This is my favorite part:

I guess when you’re young, you just believe there’ll be many people with whom you’ll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times.

OH GOD that’s so true. When I was young and naive I believed that I would connect with a lot of people and god I couldn’t be more wrong! Now that I got older, I knew that it was only FEW PEOPLE. And how I should have treasured them.

And there was a saying by Jesse (but I couldn’t find this quote in IMDB but more or less he said, “I read a research about a pattern of people’s character. There are two oppsoite guys and they are given a surprise. One is given one million dollars lottery and one is suddenly became paraplegic. Sure they change at that moment, but after 6 months when they already get used to it, they start to become themselves again. One is still a happy optimistic guy now living with a wheelchair while the other one is still a sad miserable asshole, just having a new Cadilac.”

And then I thought God, That is so true too!! I have met some pessimistic people and no matter how hard I tried to change their perception about how to be grateful and stuffs, in the end they will turn back to the oldselves.

There is although a thing that I don’t agree… which is they seem to be perfect to each other, until they cannot be happy or connected with other people. Yeah it’s true that Jesse is (unhappily) married and Celine has a relationship but they still long for each other. And Celine said, “The concept is absurd. The idea that we can only be complete with another person is evil!

Which is true that is evil. But were we really created only for one person?

I always thought Bandi was created specially and customized for me, but Was I for him? I don’t think so. I always think I was created for certain number of people because of the way I connect with more than one people.

Because if the concept was right, then what happened if that person died, Would I be miserable for the rest of my life? PURE EVIL, right?!

Anyway the movie was inspired by the director’s own story, but this one ended tragically. read here.

Yesterday night, I finally watched the sequel which is Before Midnight and I enjoyed every single word of their conversation. Again, I could relate my relationship with Celine and Jesse. Celine is now a 51 feminist wife and a mother of cute twin girls. Apparently Celine and Jesse are not married but they have twin girls because she was accidentally got pregnant (that makes more sense now because I always thought she won’t ever get married) They fought about Jesse wanting to move back to Chicago (They live in Paris now) because Jesse doesn’t want to miss too many things with his son, Henry. This is the first time we see Jesse and Celine fighting.

Let’s start with Bandi laughing meaningfully when Jesse criticized Celine about her control freak, Celine was complaining about all the house chores she has done and Jesse talked back, “Because you never let me!” And Bandi snorted.

Celine was complaining about how she must pack her bag, the girls’ bags and Jesse would only do his. And Jesse shouted, “Because you wouldn’t let me pack their bags.” Bandi snorted again. So yeah, apparently I am a feminist neurotic control freak just like Celine.

And then Jesse said, “I am fully committed to you and the girls. If you asked me a list of your annoying habits, I could come up with thousands, but I LOVE YOU unconditionally.” And Bandi grinned at me. That’s what he always say and I always annoyingly question it like Celine.

And then Jesse did some cute thing (I wouldn’t tell for the spoiler) and Celine snapped, “This is what you do. You’re being cute, get into my panties and then BOOM! I’m moved to Chicago.”

WTF! I snap at Bandi too, “Is that what you do? You’re being cute and I fall in love with you and BOOM! I’m moved to Palembang? WTF! That’s so true! And I’m marrying him! Oh MAN!!

And then there was a very funny part when Celine was so scared that she would become a submissive housewife and Jesse replied, “Oh please, it would be easier to put your head in the oven than turning you to be anything submissive,” SUPER LOL.

Oh I love them, I love Jesse and Celine.

However, I enjoyed the movie and I love the conversation between these 8 persons having dinner about the fact that people still believes in Romantic love nowadays. It’s true that the love might not last as long as in the old century but the most important is, romantic love still exists. It doesn’t matter how long it will last, how did you do it (with skype or whatever) but to know that people do love passionately and to live with it.

The idea of loving someone itself calms me down.

In my world where people got married because they “have been in a relationship for certain time” or because “they are in certain age” or because “Her goal is just to be married.” (and may I highlight one more time that there are no correlation between marriage and romantic love.) I still do believe that romantic love truly exists. It might be a funny place but I have found some true romantic love from the bloggers friends whose blogs I’ve been religiously reading on. The ways are surely various but the feeling must be the same. Like when you can’t stop think about someone ALL THE TIME. I mean it, all the time.

I’m thinking about Bandi all the time. I just can’t stop. I’m crazy.

I may be neurotic but I dare to love. That makes sense why I love you like crazy. Seriously CRAZY. (hey, because I’m neurotic right? funny pun?)

But seriously, I AM SERIOUSLY UNDOUBTLY SCARILY in love with you, like CRAZY.

Cheers,

May, neurotic and in love.

The movie marathon set me up in the romantic mood.

The movie marathon set me up in the romantic mood.