This is how I’m missing you.

As the leaves fell and the wind crackled them,
I smiled to myself remembering you.
How we used to walked hand in hand,
While we tiptoed on the leaves.


I couldn’t remember your face.
But I could smell your scent still lingers on me.
And I could picture your smile and somehow hearing your weird way to laugh.


I don’t miss you.
But I miss your company.
I miss to have a trolley full of chocolates and potato chips on the supermarket.
I miss to be stared unbelievably by the waiter when we ordered four sets of meals for two people.
I miss to do every stupid bets involving yucky gross things on Sunday afternoon.
I miss to just simply watch movie with you or dance with you or ride a bike with you,
Coz somehow those things don’t feel right without you.


I don’t need you.
But I need your spirit to strengthen me.
I needed to share my fear, my tears and my laugh with somebody.
I needed to give my affection and my emotion to somebody.
And in some point, I’d need you to be here with me again.


I eventually forgot your details.
But yet I remembered how it felt.
And how real those all were.
I forgot your hands, but remembered how it perfectly fit mine.
I forgot your lips, but remembered how soft it was when it touched mine.
I remembered how your heart beat when I laid my head against your chest.


So, every time I walked by the falling leaves,
I just needed to imagine you beside me.
Believing that someday, you will actually there.
Because you will always be where I am.

With Love,

May.

Tentang pernikahan, seks, dan Ibu Kartini.

Pernikahan menjadi topik saya hari ini, dari pagi2 dengan sesama teacher, sampai malam ini di chat windows messenger saya. Saya belum menikah, but planned to. You all know how I perceived a marriage. To sum up, it’s a scary thing.

Tapi yang saya yakin, Jangan menikah karena target umur sudah lewat

atau karena males berkarir jadi nikah aja, atau gak ada pilihan lain.

Jangan menambah data perceraian di Indonesia, please….? Jangan menikah dengan alasan yang salah, apapun itu!

Girls, you always have choices!!!

Menikahlah karena anda jatuh cinta… =)

Dan jika belum jatuh cinta, just hang on and take it easy. Coz somehow God creates a nice maze for you. Just enjoy it…!

Ini adalah suatu perbincangan yang cukup ‘berbobot’ antara saya dan pacar saya yang berada nun 10276 miles jauhnya dari saya. Setiap hari kita chatting dan membicarakan hal2 tolol yang jauh dari romantis. So, saat malam ini kami finally have such a thick conversation, saya sangat bangga dengan dia dan diri saya sendiri. Hahahaha!!!

Semoga berguna bagi nusa dan bangsa! Khususnya bagi kaum Hawa!!!
subandicahaya: halo meitri
subandicahaya: kan aku kangen makan indomie bareng kamu
Mayellow: hahahah
Mayellow: aku juga kok

subandicahaya: aku mau pee bntr aj
subandicahaya: give 5 minutes
Mayellow: ok
subandicahaya: i’m back
subandicahaya: kamu masi bermasalah dgn updatean avg ga
subandicahaya: aku udah ketemu solusinya
Mayellow: apa tuhh?
Mayellow: ih udah lama niyh ga update
Mayellow: wahahahaha

subandicahaya: jadi kamu
subandicahaya: masuk ke http://www.avg.com nya
subandicahaya: kamu download updatean nya manual
subandicahaya: truz udah beres donlod
subandicahaya: kamu update dari avg interface update from directory
subandicahaya: beres d
Mayellow: au ah
Mayellow: hahahah

subandicahaya: yeeee
subandicahaya: mau ga
subandicahaya: aku kasi direct link nya d
subandicahaya: aku tau kamu rada males soalnya
subandicahaya: hahaha
Mayellow: huahahaha
subandicahaya: kamu daritadi ngapain aj?
Mayellow: lagi blogging
subandicahaya: kamu nulis lagi??
subandicahaya: yeiyyyyy
subandicahaya: nanti mau baca ahhh
Mayellow: hehehe
subandicahaya: besok hari jumat yahh
subandicahaya: pake baju polkadot dung
subandicahaya: inget
subandicahaya: pake jaket
Mayellow: oh iyah yah
subandicahaya: nanti masuk angin
Mayellow: btw
subandicahaya: apa
Mayellow: Happy 2 years earlier wedding day!
subandicahaya: upsss
subandicahaya: iyaaa
subandicahaya: happy 2 years earlier wedding day chaymuuu
subandicahaya: AMIN yahh
Mayellow: AMIN
subandicahaya: bnyk2 doa yahh
Mayellow: kmu juga
subandicahaya: iya dunk
subandicahaya: so pasti
subandicahaya: bbrp waktu yg lalu
subandicahaya: aku ntn perempuan punya cerita
subandicahaya: gila pergaulan anak smp dan sma jogja
subandicahaya: parah euyy
Mayellow: embeeeeeer
subandicahaya: film nya juga parah
subandicahaya: semuanya cerita sex bebas semua
Mayellow: hahahaha
subandicahaya: cm wanita jadi korban eksploitasi
Mayellow: ember
subandicahaya: jadi ga tega
Mayellow: wanita selalu jadi objek!
subandicahaya: aku ga ampe abis ntn
Mayellow: makanya aku maw tunjukin ke orang2
Mayellow: kalo dalam pernikahan
Mayellow: gak selamanya wanita jadi korban

subandicahaya: oh jadi aku korbannya neh
subandicahaya: wakakaka
Mayellow: serius ini mah nyet
Mayellow: kmrn temenku cerita
Mayellow: suaminya blg

subandicahaya: iya
Mayellow: kok skrg kamu gendut? badan kamu benerin dunk… (sambil menunjuk ke toket)
Mayellow: yah kan iya udah ngelahirin, menyusui yah pasti gini…

subandicahaya: truz
Mayellow: bisa ga jadi kurus lagi? jadi kayak dulu lagi.
Mayellow: DANG!
Mayellow: Laki laki BAJINGAN semua
Mayellow: gila

subandicahaya: eitsssss
Mayellow: yang bikin hamil juga dia
Mayellow: dan cewe TOLOL

subandicahaya: ralat kata semua

Mayellow: laki2 bajingan dan cewe tolol
subandicahaya: iya aku tau meitri
subandicahaya: dasar dia ga mikir pake otak kali yah
Mayellow: ban
Mayellow: cowo yang kayak gitu bukan dia doang
Mayellow: BANYAK

subandicahaya: iya aku tau
Mayellow: dan cewe tolol yang maw2nya diexploitasi dan dijadiin objek sama cowo tuh BUANYAK juga
subandicahaya: banyak bgttttttttt
subandicahaya: iya tuhh
Mayellow: FYI
Mayellow: dari awal aku blgin sama kamu

subandicahaya: iya
Mayellow: when we get married
Mayellow: ga ada tuh
Mayellow: kita plg kerja berdua
Mayellow: sama2 cape
Mayellow: dan kamu seenaknya
Mayellow: sayang, bikinin teh dunk, atau pijetin aku, aku capek!!!
Mayellow: MBAHMU!!!

subandicahaya: WAKAKAKAKA
subandicahaya: iya neng
Mayellow: pokoknya teamwork
Mayellow: capek yah bareng2

subandicahaya: iya meitri
Mayellow: bikin teh bareng
subandicahaya: iyaaaaaaaa
Mayellow: pijit2an bareng
Mayellow: rendem kaki bareng
Mayellow: aku bukan babu kamu

subandicahaya: iya meitri
Mayellow: dan kamu bukan boss aku
subandicahaya: kalo ngangkang aj capek ga
Mayellow: nyeeeeeeet
Mayellow: serius dah

subandicahaya: iya
subandicahaya: aku serius
subandicahaya: aku tau may
subandicahaya: bukannya selama ini juga kita begitu
Mayellow: it’s all about take and give
Mayellow: yah kita kan baru pacaran
Mayellow: aku harap saat kita married
Mayellow: ga ada yg berubah
Mayellow: hanya status kita
Mayellow: bukan lagi pacar
Mayellow: tapi suami istri
Mayellow: that’s all

subandicahaya: may
Mayellow: tapi cara mencintai kamu masih tetap sama
subandicahaya: iya aku tau
subandicahaya: iyah itu pasti
subandicahaya: dan aku cm mau ingetin
subandicahaya: pasti ad yg berubah
subandicahaya: tetapi
subandicahaya: aku tetap yakin dan bangga punya kamu
subandicahaya: karena kita bisa bahas hal2 dari kecil ampe gede
subandicahaya: jadi walaupun aral melintang menghadang
subandicahaya: kita bekerja sama ngadepin nya
subandicahaya: ok partner?
Mayellow: udah mulai sakit pinggang
subandicahaya: hahaha
Mayellow: maklum nenek udah tua nih kung
subandicahaya: iya neng
subandicahaya: udah mau jam 9 neng
subandicahaya: nenek
subandicahaya: btw kasi comment dunk
subandicahaya: buat tulisan engkong tadi
subandicahaya: setuju kaga nenek
Mayellow: hah?
Mayellow: apa?
Mayellow: kung2 cuma komen gitu doang

subandicahaya: yeeeee
subandicahaya: si nenek mahh
subandicahaya: hahaha
Mayellow: yah nenek pasti setuju atuh
subandicahaya: yawda atuhh
subandicahaya: skrg nenek istirahat satu jam sana
Mayellow: ga maw ah kung
subandicahaya: kenapa nek
Mayellow: nenek maw bahas yang tadi lagi kung
subandicahaya: ayoo bahas tadi lagi
Mayellow: gini loh
Mayellow: cowo tuuh
Mayellow: suka ga mikir kalo mereka yang bikin body cewe hancur
Mayellow: dan mereka malah cari cewe lain
Mayellow: hanya untuk seks
Mayellow: emang nikah itu cuma SEKS aja?
Mayellow: dan cewe tuh tolol
Mayellow: kalo udah nikah
Mayellow: cewe harus bisa muasin suami
Mayellow: bikin suami betah di rumah
Mayellow: biar suaminya ga suka maen
Mayellow: HEEEEEEEEY
Mayellow: emang pernikahan itu
Mayellow: cuma prjuangan istri aja
Mayellow: GILA AJE

subandicahaya: iya
Mayellow: yah kalo cewe yang ga puas di ranjang
Mayellow: cowo tetep ga salah
Mayellow: salah istrinya

subandicahaya: blh kasi comment
Mayellow: TAIK BABI
Mayellow: belum

subandicahaya: go on
subandicahaya: aku tunggu
Mayellow: truz kalo cewe cape
Mayellow: tetap mesti urus suami
Mayellow: anjiiir
Mayellow: ‘enak amat jadi cowo
Mayellow: Ibu Kartini bisa nangis bombay tuh denger itu
Mayellow: oke
Mayellow: komen deh kung

subandicahaya: gini
subandicahaya: sblmnya
subandicahaya: coret namaku dari list cowo2 brengsek itu
subandicahaya: ok
subandicahaya: udah niii
subandicahaya: inget kan kita pernah bahas
subandicahaya: kaloo
subandicahaya: nikah itu harga yg harus di byr dari seks
subandicahaya: buat cowo
subandicahaya: mknya otak cowo semua kyk gtu
subandicahaya: cm mikir enaknya aj
subandicahaya: aku juga ga tau
Mayellow: ban
Mayellow: di buku itu juga blg
Mayellow: seks itu harga yang dibayar wanita untuk pernikahan
Mayellow: hey
Mayellow: it’s not for me!
Mayellow: semua hal dari pernikahan itu ad baik buruknya
Mayellow: seks itu bukan hal yang buruk.
Mayellow: aku ga akan melakukan itu kalo aku ga maw

subandicahaya: yg ga mikir buat kerja dan buat cari kariernya
subandicahaya: mknya di bodohin sm suami
Mayellow: aku tuh ga setuju orang blg
Mayellow: nanti kalo udah nikah kita males ML
Mayellow: tapi mesti, demi suami
Mayellow: hey!
Mayellow: aku bakal buktiin
Mayellow: kalo emang aku ga maw
Mayellow: yah ga maw
Mayellow: aku akan blg ke kamu aku ga maw
Mayellow: dan kamu akan ngertti
Mayellow: krn itu, aku pilih kamu untuk jadi suamiku
Mayellow: krn kamu ngerti aku
Mayellow: dan aku yakin

subandicahaya: iya sayang
Mayellow: kamu ga akan cari cewe lain hanya krn aku nolak ML sama kamu
Mayellow: ban
Mayellow: emang bener
Mayellow: di otak cowo
Mayellow: pernikahan itu hny seks aja???

subandicahaya: hemmm
subandicahaya: aku ga prnh bahas ini sihh
subandicahaya: sm temen aku
subandicahaya: karena itu terlalu jauhh
subandicahaya: jadi aku ga tau bgt
subandicahaya: cm aku bisa pastiin kyknya
subandicahaya: emg dalem otak cowo sih isi nya itu semua
subandicahaya: SEX
Mayellow: ok
Mayellow: jadi kalo kamu?
Mayellow: kamu akan sakit hati kalo aku nolak ML sama kamu?

subandicahaya: aku gpp kok
subandicahaya: kita ngomong may
subandicahaya: kita bahs
subandicahaya: kita diskusi
subandicahaya: dan aku ga masalah
subandicahaya: iya kan
Mayellow: iya seh
subandicahaya: aku udah bilang
subandicahaya: aku sayang kamu
subandicahaya: TITIK
Mayellow: bandi
Mayellow: janji yah

subandicahaya: iya
subandicahaya: apa
Mayellow: segala hal bisa kita omongin
subandicahaya: may
subandicahaya: aku milih kamu
subandicahaya: yah karena kita bisa bahas semuanya
subandicahaya: ga semua pasangan bisa memiliki
subandicahaya: kesempatan dan ke
Mayellow: nah itu
subandicahaya: ke apa itu
subandicahaya: ga bisa di ucapkan dalam bhs indo
Mayellow: yah apa inggrisnya?
subandicahaya: kelegaan
Mayellow: Naon
subandicahaya: dalam mengungkapkan
subandicahaya: perasaaan
subandicahaya: misalnya
subandicahaya: may aku males keluar
subandicahaya: masak di rumah aj yuk
subandicahaya: si meitri
subandicahaya: lg males bgt
subandicahaya: ni beres2 rumah
subandicahaya: secara kalo bandi masak
subandicahaya: rumah jadi kapal pecah
subandicahaya: hahaha
subandicahaya: jadinya kita bahas d
subandicahaya: yawda
subandicahaya: kita makan di luar d
Mayellow: you know what?
subandicahaya: iya
Mayellow: I used to hate and scared of marriage
subandicahaya: iyah
Mayellow: now you make it seem simple and fun
subandicahaya: bu grammar
subandicahaya: ada yg salah
subandicahaya: bukan scared
subandicahaya: tp scare
subandicahaya: hahaha
Mayellow: kalo I used to scare
Mayellow: aku dulu sering menakut2i
Mayellow: sayaaaaangkuh yang sotoy

subandicahaya: iyaaaaaaa
Mayellow: I used to be scared
Mayellow: mestinya

subandicahaya: sayangkuhhh yang pintel pisan
Mayellow: sorry kurang be
Mayellow: parahnya
Mayellow: now
Mayellow: I want it with you

subandicahaya: hahaha
subandicahaya: iya sayang
subandicahaya: sabar aj yah
Mayellow: And I used to be scared of LDR
Mayellow: but I’m doing it with you

subandicahaya: iya
Mayellow: you make it simple
Mayellow: but this one
Mayellow: I don’t WANT it

subandicahaya: masalahnya
subandicahaya: kembali ke orgnya may
subandicahaya: mencintai
subandicahaya: seseorang
subandicahaya: sepenuh jiwa itu
subandicahaya: tidak segampang
subandicahaya: bilang
subandicahaya: aku cinta kamu
Mayellow: bener
subandicahaya: tp semua pengorbanan dan cinta itu terwujud
subandicahaya: walaupun aku sangat annoying
subandicahaya: dan aku bego
subandicahaya: aku harus di bilangin 2 kali
subandicahaya: aku berani jamin
subandicahaya: kalo aku cinta kamu
subandicahaya: aku maunya kamu
Mayellow: mencintai orang sepenuh jiwa itu, menerima dia apa adanya. meskipun dia jorok dan kalo kentut bau banget.
subandicahaya: babi kamu
Mayellow: Mencintai orang sepenuh jiwa itu
Mayellow: MAU melakukan apapun untuk membuat dia bahagia
Mayellow: MAU LDR demi dia
Mayellow: MAU nunggu dia OL setiap malem, nongkrongin monitor
Mayellow: dan deg2an kembali saat bunyi TUNG! dan ada tulisan “Subandi Cahaya is now Online”

subandicahaya: hehehe
subandicahaya: iya sayangggggg
subandicahaya: aku juga memikirkan hal yg sama dengan kamu
subandicahaya: semua itu demi nanti ke depannya
subandicahaya: kita jalanin berdua
subandicahaya: kita awali berdua
subandicahaya: dan kita tuntaskan berdua
subandicahaya: ehh
subandicahaya: kita tuntaskan ber 13
subandicahaya: kan anaknya 11
Mayellow: APA???
Mayellow: engga yah nyet
Mayellow: katanya pernikahan itu komunikasi

subandicahaya: 3 aj d
subandicahaya: boleh ga
Mayellow: nah yang ini bahas dunk
subandicahaya: hehe
subandicahaya: iya
Mayellow: atur aja lagh
subandicahaya: 3 aj
subandicahaya: aku ga akan minta lebih
Mayellow: toh kamu yang cari duit, aku tinggal engkang2 kaki di rumah sambil main kartu dan ngipas2 bak ibu2 cina.
subandicahaya: babi
subandicahaya: dasar
subandicahaya: kamu juga cari duit sono
subandicahaya: wakakaka
subandicahaya: cari duit yg bnyk2 bgt
Mayellow: aaaaaaaaaaah tidaaaaaaaaaaak!!! Aku dieksploitasi!!!
subandicahaya: impian kamu
subandicahaya: mau kerja di unicef
subandicahaya: jadi reporter
subandicahaya: jadi penulis kek
subandicahaya: sebelum punya anak sokk
subandicahaya: tp setelah itu
subandicahaya: kamu harus kurangi
subandicahaya: aku tau itu ga mungkin buat kamu tuk berhenti
subandicahaya: tp kamu bisa tau nanti prioritas kamu
Mayellow: iyah dut
Mayellow: aku tau
Mayellow: makasih yah

And that’s how I’m in Love with him… Hahaha!! Emang dasar cowok. Otaknya mungkin sudah terprogram seperti itu. But somehow gw yakin, gak semua cowok di dunia ini bajingan. ada yang gay juga…. Huahahaha!!!

Another Long Distance Relationship Post

Long Distance Relationship Sucks!

I know I’ve written those words hundred times. But why am I still in one? And if you all think it really really sucks, why are you still fighting for it?

Pepei.

Andi.

Ius.

Yoan.

Monica Yuan.

and especially Shiulen, who had been up and downs with it, and who saved my ass from the fire. ;p

This post is created for you guys! And for those who will have an LDR.

Some of you might have a very long conversation with me before about this shit. And however, you’ve forgotten it, becuase I still had some curse and complain about it, which is okay! Because I, too, called my bestfriend in the middle of the night and cried.

(you would never turn off your cellphone as long as
Bandi is still in Texas, Len!)

Just open this post whenever you think you have reached your limit and you’d find out, it wasn’t your limit, it was just your emotion because you love him (I use male’s phrase) so much but you can only see his face on your fuc*in monitor and sometimes it was even call-dropped!

I want you to think of the times when the two of you said your last goodbye and how you were very sure that someday, you’d see him again. I want you to remember your promise to yourself that you wouldn’t be that stupid to stop loving him just because you’re on different page of atlas! And don’t even let me start about your words to your friend that ‘you can do it’ and your friends made those frawn upon you, but you thought ‘hell, I’m really gonna be through it!’.

Come one guys!! Love is struggling! And we have each other’s back!

These are things I’ve been thinking of when those damn hormones aren’t working:

  1. Understanding. It’s really REALLY important. If you think that he’s so selfish and not understand you first, you’ve really got to quit this LDR! (Yeah, Len.. I know, It’s your words! You should make your own blog!). You have to stop counting how much you suffer or how many tears you’ve drop for crying all night. Because you need to lengthen the compromise line when you’re in LDR. I know it sucks guys! But, how bad do you want to be with him? how bad do you want to survive? If you want it that bad, COMPROMISE FIRST!
  2. Good Times ONLY. Yep, while you’re in LDR, never NEVER think about bad times! Because you’re not in the same place where you can hug him or touch him to make him feel that you love him or make you feel that he loves you. So, there’s no romance in LDR. You can curse about it, but remembering bad times would just make you suffer more coz you can’t do anything to fix it! And all you need is to remember your good memories with him. And trust me, it’s really working!
  3. Stop fighting over simple stuff. It’s really hard, especially for me, the one who always pay attention to simple things. And when you’re in LDR, your relationship with him would only involve messenger, video call, phone call, and emails. So, you won’t complain about his bad habits in real life, such as: making your room messy, dress really clumsy to dinner, or buy you a coca cola instead of strawberry milk. You would find simple things mattered more, such as: he mistyped “I love you” to be “I loev yu” or he kept moving while he’s on the phone with you so the signal is gone. I know it’s all annoying when it’s all the only thing you do with him, but… this point is coming back to point 1, compromise more!!!

One thing will always work for me is…. seeing my pictures with him.

a long way to heaven

a long way to heaven

*

*

*

He’s the only person who could make me laugh like this.

He made me happier than I ever thought I could be.

And I need to spend the rest of my life, laughing like that.

So…

*

*

but we'll get there!

but we'll get there!

*

*

*

Why bother the distance and the hormones?

*

While the happiness in my life is to see his smiling back at me when we’re meeting again at the airport someday.

*

*

*

*

*

Maybe you’re the lucky ones.

God really loves you so much, then He gave you this drama to conquer. So, think about it… If you can get through this, there’s nothing that you can’t face together with him! And the two of you will be very VERY proud.

To quote Bandi:

It’s just temporary… And it’s all gonna be sooo worth it.

So….?

Still hanging in there?

Just buzz me on my messenger, or maybe join me in hundreds of crying night in front of the monitor. :p

-May-

Why Long Distance Relationship SUCKS.

I really wanted to watch this movie, twilight. I’m a romantic person, likes to do romantic things, and of course like to watch romantic movies.

So the twilight movie is totally a-MUST-thing.

I’ve been avoiding movie theatre. Becoz I always visited it with my boyfriend for the last 2 and half years. He’s a movie addict, but now he’s been far away. And i see my ticket box, the last time we bought the movie ticket was October 2nd. It was on jakarta, we watched ‘Awake‘.

So today, i watched the ‘twilight’ movie with my friend, Leony. We enjoyed the times, laughed a lot about her stupidity on looking the wrong hour. XD

However, I enjoyed the times.

And enough with the prologue.

This is about Long Distance Relationship.

When you have long distance relationship, you’ve started to do things you usually did with your boyfriend, with someone else. could be with your friends or family.

And i won’t say it’s not nice. It’s just… you’re becoming losing the connection about doing things together. daily routines or daily activities, which actually a very important part to make you whole.

You begin to watch movie with somebody else, shopping with somebody else, try new restaurant with somebody else, go on vacation with somebody else.

you make new memories with other people.

And your memories with your boyfriend begin to fade away, when the only new memories you make with him is only involving emails, phone calls and yahoo messenger.

He’ll meet new friends, then you start to get confused with their names, because it becomes so many day by day. You also will feel tired when you tell stories about your new friends and he keeps asking, “which one is ***(the name of person)?”

I just did the LDR for 2 months. Still have 3 years to go. I know I should’ve start with positive thinking. But I’m a girl. And these are what girls do on their pms period. XD *laughing*

I must say the people who survived LDR is people with big heart and very brave. I salute you! Coz right now, I’m still holding on my faith with him to keep doing this Long Distance RelationSHIT.

Anybody wants to comment on LDR thingy?? I really welcome!

May