Fateful days – the sequel


Do you remember this post? Bandi and I received a sad news on the first day of new year. Bandi was diagnosed positive on Hepatitis C.

Looking for a good and reputable hospital to do a pre-marital check up, a friend recommended Eka Hospital. We paid a pretty fat cheque for our full check up, just to make sure we are not only a match made in heaven by the Universe, but also a match made in laboratory.

I did my blood test first, followed by Bandi a couple of days later. We were waiting to meet the obgyn when Bandi received a phone call, “Sir, can you please come back to the lab to give another blood sample?”

Bandi asked, “Why?”

“The result for HCV is reactive. Let’s do another test to confirm.”

“What is HCV?”

“It’s Hepatitis C.”

The result from obgyn then didn’t really matter to me anymore because my only goal in life is to live with Bandi til we’re 100 years old. The news obviously troubled my mind.

We then went to meet the GP to discuss about the lab result. The GP wasn’t very informative. “How could someone be infected by Hep C?” I asked the doctor.

“It’s transmitted by blood and sex.”

Bandi was too confused to talk so I kept challenging the doctor, “well, my hubby never had blood transfusion, doesn’t have tattoo and the only sexual partner is me. If he’s having it, I will be having whatever he’s having.”

The doctor implicitly said that when results like these happen, the marriage tends to be shaken. (WTF, she actually thought Bandi was what-fucking girls around?)

I knew it by heart it’s bullshit. Nobody in this world tells me shits like this. I know Bandi and that is final. Nobody knows Bandi like I do.

We have shared everything, you name it, even chewing gum. There’s no way we’re not sharing this virus either.

The doctor told us to wait for the second test. Maybe it was a mistake on the first test. We agreed on that.

Bandi and I flew back to Singapore the next day. We received an email from the doctor, a scanned document of Bandi’s lab result. It was still positive, it wasn’t borderline, it was way off positive, like seriously positive. The doctor advised Bandi not to share nail clipper, shaving razor, or anything personal with me.

Photo 26-3-18, 3 47 38 PM

Bandi took it to the next level. He didn’t let me drink from the same cup with him, eat from the same spoon, we even stopped making out for a while. Don’t even mention about sex. As much as I wanted to be selfish and demand everything to be back to normal,  it couldn’t. I knew he went through so much, he was sad. All I did was hugging him all the time, telling him that we’re gonna kick this shit ass no matter what. His only concern was to pass it to our future baby. I told him not to think about it yet, the only priority is to make sure he’s okay.

During this time, we did a lot of google research and was comforted with the fact that Hepatitis C can be cured. It’s not the end of the world. But we decided to scrape off our Aussie plan and focus on eliminating this virus. I just want to live with Bandi, til 100 years old. I want to travel the world with him, and we will do anything to make sure it’s happening.

Bandi made appointment to see the top hepatologist in Singapore General Hospital (SGH), and only got an appointment 10 weeks later on 8th March.

In 2 months, Bandi went through the phase of sadness, anger, denial and acceptance.

I was in Jakarta for work when he went to his first doctor’s visit. I really wish I could be there with him. Bandi told me to wait til I came back to Singapore which was a day later, to discuss the detail. Doctor referred him to do another blood test, the very detailed one especially to understand how serious the HCV was doing in his body and how much time he had until the virus starting to affect his liver. This costed a whopping $790. (++)

I finally got to see him the next night. He picked me up in Changi Airport and we talked in the uber. He told me that he’s gonna apply for Singapore Citizen. I was shocked, “why?”

“The cost for curing Hepatitis C is 80,000 Singapore Dollars, but government subsidies it to be 12,000 for citizen. We cannot afford $80,000.”

My jaw dropped. Yes, and I cannot afford to lose you either.

I was puzzled. How on earth are we going to find $80,000?

“How much time do we need? When do you need to start the medication?”

“The result will come on 22 March, and I’ll meet the doctor again to understand about the medication plan. But don’t worry, we don’t need to do it ASAP.”

I was sad, and pissed off. Why is this happening to us? Bandi is the kindest, the sweetest, the most thoughtful human being I know. He doesn’t deserve this, he doesn’t deserve anything that can hurt him or make him sad. He only deserves happiness. Universe can hurt me instead. I’ll take bullet for him. I’m bulletproof anyway.

I went for another work trip to Jakarta, again on the same day when we had appointment with his doctor in SGH so he went alone again. I told him to let me know as soon as he had updates. So on Thursday morning, when I was eating breakfast in the hotel, I saw a missed call from Bandi. I called him back rightaway.

“May…”

“Yes?”

“I got nothing.”

“WHAT?”

“Doctor said the result from Singapore Lab says I’m clean.”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“Yeah.”

“There goes 5 years of my life!!!”

“I know, but I’m so relieved.”

“I’m so gonna fucking sue Eka Hospital’s ass.”

“I don’t care. All I care is I’m healthy, and I’m gonna keep living my life with you. That’s the only thing I want.”

Photo 26-3-18, 7 25 17 PM

We continued the conversation with hundred of OMG I’m so relieved  and I love you. I felt like I got even closer to Bandi. I know, I really think it’s impossible to be even closer to Bandi, but I felt like I was given a second chance.

I don’t know if any one of you can relate this. There are two ways of seeing it.

One, Eka Hospital ruined 3 months of our life, not to mention our sex life. I swear I gained wrinkles during this past 3 months. Our life was perfect before the incident and Eka Hospital ruined it for 3 months by giving us false alarm.

Two, We are the lucky ones. To be able to go through such whirlwind rollercoaster, and yet holding hands steady and strong, ready to kick ass. We felt like resetting the playstation button when our game starting to be sucky. We were given second chance.

In the end, of course we’re not suing. What is it for? Money? How much money can bring back the 3 months of our life?  How much money can erase the tearful night that Bandi was having? We can’t get our 3 months back. The craziest, most worried 3 months in our life.

We’re so lucky we can ask for second (if not third) opinion in Singapore. But what if this happens to someone else who doesn’t have the fortune to do it (it costed $1,000 altogether from end to end) or even the stupid lab result could ruin their marriage?

How could Eka Hospital screwed up Bandi’s blood test TWICE, I don’t know, only god knows. But what we know, for sure is…

We’re always blessed, we’re always protected. We never doubt that. It’s us, Universe’s favourite people.

As long as we’re positive (no pun intended), and we’re together, nothing can hurt us. And even though it hurts,  so what? it’s not about avoiding the pain, it’s about surviving it.

I still can’t believe such drama happened in our life. We didn’t tell anyone until today. But I’ve decided to share this story because:

  1. We’re warning you to choose hospital wisely. You wouldn’t want to experience their over-priced incompetence.
  2. If there is any doctor reading this, maybe there’s a scientific explanation behind the two different test results. I don’t speak medicine, so maybe incorrect process or method that caused this confusion? If so, what should the doctor do when facing this kind of situation? Obviously not passive-aggressively inducing ideas about dishonesty.

For now, I’m just happy and content with the fact that I can continue my plan, to live with Bandi til we’re 100 years old. :)

And don’t forget to say I love you to your loved ones. Why? Because why not? Life is short.

Cheers,

May (and Bandi), the lucky ones.

24 thoughts on “Fateful days – the sequel

  1. Wow such a roller-coaster reading! I don’t think I can relate it yet, for now, but for sure choosing the right hospital will relief the burden quite lil bit ya Ci. Mo pingsan gue baca angka2nya.
    Btw pre-marital check up gabisa di-cover asuransi ya, Ci? Atau asuransi yg kalian punya gak berlaku di Indonesia?

  2. OMG. I can’t stop holding my breath when I read this post. I swear my hands were shaking all the time too. But THANKS GOD that Bandi are okay. I’ve read your story ever since the LDR days and I do believe that the both of you are surely God’s favourite couple.

    Eka Hospital…I will remember that name though. I will avoid any hospital or medical clinic that was associated with it.

  3. MAY!!! BANDI!!!! SUPER HUG!!! What a news!!!! Gw baca sampe mengkerut but somehow I knew it, it’s going to be okay!!!! Yeay!! Congratulations you guys for achieving another milestones as a couple trough thick and thin! :)

  4. Such a relieve!!!
    Brengki tu hospital!! Bikin orang deg deg an aja. I’m so glad everything is ok and you both can live together for 100 more years and some!

  5. Thanks God Bandi gapapa ya.. it was a roller coaster reading but glad it turns out good! Bener banget rasanya spt dikasi 2nd chance. Semoga sehat2 selalu ya!!

  6. Hai Ce May,ikut prihatin tapi yg pasti LEGA banget krn you two can get through this stronger together..aku dokter umum,jd mungkin perlu konsultasi lagi ke subspesialisnya utk update2 jurnal terbarunya..
    Jadi gini Pemeriksaan Hep C itu harus 3 metode dan ini sequencing..
    Screening awal anti HCV pake metode ELISA. Kalo positif berarti ada antibodi yg melawan virus Hep C. Nah utk infeksinya bisa past ato present. Jadi musti Lanjut pake metode RIBA, ini juga cek Antibodi, tapi kemungkinan false positive lebih kecil.
    Last, klo RIBA positive, should be confirmed by HCV RNA. Itu cek RNA virusnya sendiri dalam badan. Klo positive berarti ya emang terinfeksi on going or NOW.
    Klo negative (on Ko Bandi’s case), it can be 2 meaning:
    Pertama, itu infeksi masa lampau,dah bnr2 healed (hopefully this happened to Ko Bandi ya,amiin)
    Kedua, itu current infection, bnr2 baru, jadi viremia virus masih kecil/awal banget sampe ga terdeteksi. Ntar setelah 6-8 bulan RNA akan replikasi,jadi lebih banyak dan bakal terdeteksi.
    Jadi sebaiknya klo pemeriksaan ky Ko Bandi gitu, 8 bulan lagi cek lg HCV RNA. Klo tetep negative (kita imani itu ya Ce), ya brrti itu opsi pertama tadi.
    Semoga cukup jelas ya Ce. Lagi-lagi perlu aku jelasin, ilmu medis itu berkembang banget. Klo ada dokter yang mungkin lgsg bilang positif dari anti HCV metode elisa doang, mungkin beliau belum update soal yg aku tahu ini.
    Mungkin klo ada update baru lagi, better cari second or third or fourth opinion as many as you can get.
    Stay positive and happily sanguine as i love to read your stories ya Ce.
    God bless you Ce.

    • Hi Shinta! Thanks for your insight! Yes, aku juga nanya ke dokter nya in detail, apa ini ads hub nya dengan current atau past, kayak bbrp blood test ada SGOT dan SGPT. Tapi dia gak bisa confirm. It’s not only the result per se, but the communication. Doctor harus bisa communicate well sama pasien nya, kasih tau kami facts instead of hunch.
      Ya sudah, dokter yg di SGH sudah blg ini final. He confirmed it. :)

  7. My friend got wrong diagnosed as well at Eka. Dibilang ada kanker. Setelah dicek di Singapur she is perfectly healthy. Eka terkenal suka ngawur loh memang. I’ve heard many bad stories related to that hospital. Thank God Bandi is okay. May you guys live happily until 100 years old :)

  8. omg Ci May I held my breath almost the whole of this post. So glad that it turns out to be false positives and here’s to many more long years between you and your husband. And fuck that doctor, her job is to inform not judge. Note to self: blacklist this hospital forever bcs I am currently researching for my belated pre marital check up too :).

  9. Gua emosi loh May bacanya. RS sini emang ga reliable. Rasa2nya klo ga cari 2nd 3rd even 4th opinion tuh kynya ga afdol. Udah terlalu denger banyak cerita kesalahan2 RS kaya gini. Nyokap gua pun cek mata di Mtra Kmayoran lgsung dibilang ada katarak dan harus segera ambil tindakan tapi untung nyokap gua woles, ga percaya dan bener aja pas cek lagi di penang dibilang she’s okay.

    Tp sukurlah Bandi sehat2 aja. Kebayang betapa leganya pas tau that he’s actually clear from the virus. Sehat2 terus u both.

    • Yes Na! Gua juga langsung emosi! Sbnrny hati kecil gua tuh udah berkata ini bullshit (cieh) cuma yah kita prepared for the worst.
      Iya skrg gua udah ga maw lagi pelit2 gak check di Singapore krn maw save duit, ujung2 nya mahal juga.

  10. OMG may gw baru baca. Kok bisa ya Rs segede itu salah diagnosa?grr banget bacanya. Lesson learned never trust doctor opinion (even lab result) without 2nd opinion. Iya ga ada gunanya sue hospitalnya. Indo gitu. Malah salah2 bisa balik sue kalian krn pencemaran nama baik. Disyukuri aja kalau bandi sehat dan kalian uda bisa lewatin ini semua. It’s the most important thing. And dont forget karma is a bitch. Dia akan menuai yg dia tabur.

  11. wow!!! that’s totally crazy. how could that hospital do that to you guys! unbelievable. anyway gua ikutan seneng with the happy ending… yang penting sehat ya!!

  12. Gila! mana gue sering banget ke EKA krn paling deket sama rumah gue. Make sure kalo sampe ada diagnosa aneh2 gue akan cari opini lain deh, engga banget kalo kalo kejadian kayak Bandi. Gue akui, dokter di Indonesia kebanyakan suka kayak irit informasi (gak cuma di EKA aja), males gitu kasih penjelasan detail ke pasien dan parahnya kalo pasien banyak nanyapun dijutekin. Thanks God Bandi sehat2 ya May, take care

  13. May, waktu di FB elo under Pro Unlimited bkn? Benefits dari Pro mencakup suami n anak juga kah? Sebenernya gua juga di FB, tapi dari vendor dan serombongan kita pindah dari South Beach ke Aljunied office gak lama Abis gua joined, makanya kita gak pernah ketemuan di ktr ya. Mana waktu itu gue lagi hamil, sekalinya balik ngantor Dah gak liat nama lu lagi di Workplace..ternyata May dah cabut.
    Anyway May, Happy to hear that everything is fine. Moga2 someday Kita jodoh ketemuan. Heheheh.

    • Hi Luna! Nope gua bukan sama Pro. :) lu anak ads ya? Soalnya temen gua juga ads dan dia sitting di Aljuned. Bentar lagi kan FB pindah ke Marina One, kalian ikut juga kan? :)
      Amiiin moga2 jodoh. Hehe

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