I’ve been wanting to runaway since I knew how to read. Thanks to Enid Blyton’s adventurous stories, I dreamt of going away and creating trouble. Books were my best friends, library was my sanctuary. When you had dream, you started to create plan, when you’ve created the plan, you had goals to tick. I’m so goal oriented, driven and just don’t quit. I remember drenched, riding my motorbike in Jakarta and I thought, just a couple of $$ more til I’ve had enough saving to move to Singapore.
I love every adventures I’ve had, I’m used to moving around and not having a place called home. I questioned what home meant for so long until I knew home was not necessarily a place. It can be feeling or people. Even when I travel somewhere far, I can feel homie, even it’s just a stopover I can feel comfortable.
To sit on the train, looking out the window, passing by meadows or farms, the chugging sound of a moving train is so calming ironically. Taking on a bus ride, or driving on a road trip, fly on a plane somewhere, all of them are amazing feelings. No matter where you go, whether you go to a foreign land, or you go home onto your Mom’s arms. Sometimes when you’re lucky, your mind will wander and imagination comes by.
It turns out… I just love to be in motion. I love going somewhere, whether it’s a new place or the same familiar environment, I love the feeling of leaving things behind, I love the feeling of running away. I know this could be psycho-analysed by some shrink, judging me to have some shitty past or whatever, but you know what? There’s nothing wrong on admitting something weird that you love. And for so long, I thought it was weird, until… I shared this feeling with someone, Bandi.
How lucky I am to be able to share my life with someone who feels as weird as I do, who likes the same things, who makes me feel less lonely, less of an outcast?
I’m getting old and no matter how self-assured I am, I do wonder sometimes, should I slow down a little bit? Settle down? Have you ever wondered why it’s called “settle down” but not “settle up”? Because it’s basically a downgrade from an exciting motion! LOL.
I think it’s not about age per se, it’s just when you’re older, you’ve learned more things in life, you enjoy things differently.
Like the other day, Bandi and I went out on a Friday Night date. We had a couple of drinks, fun conversation and after dinner, we walked around Clarke Quay to check out the street acrobat. It was 10 pm and we both yawned, “shall we go home?” I would’ve thought it’s lame to go home early, but god I so badly wanted to go home early, take a shower and rest.
It’s the same thing with our travel. We no longer travel like energizer bunny who sleeps at 1 am and wake up at 7 am. We take things slower, we actually love having our breakfast slow sometimes. Life is so short, I don’t wanna rush it anymore. I wanna make sure every moments count.
The phrase “settle down” scares me. it seems like stopping forever. I don’t wanna stop, I love to be in motion. But if the high speed is nauseating, let’s be in a slower motion. But let’s not stop.
You can’t change yourself to be who you are not, that won’t be sustainable, that’s gonna break. But you can compromise, be more flexible.
For me, as long as we do not stop. :) What’s the weird thing you enjoy the most?