Are you with your mediocre love?

This morning, I saw a quote on my path, saying:

Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life; Love shouldn’t be one of them.

I’ve been looking for the right way to express “settling down for less” and this morning, I finally found it. From now on, I will call it mediocre love.

What is a mediocre love?

Well, I don’t know how to express this, because I have never had any mediocre love. I’m one of those persons who loves hard, even to my friends and family.

But I tell you what’s not mediocre. It’s that feeling of loving someone so deep, you could actually feel your heart crunch a little bit when you think about them. When you think about how happy they make you, you will feel something warming up in your belly, when you worry about them, maybe they’re sick or something bad happened to them, you will feel your heart aches. I don’t talk figuratively, I meant literally. Because when one of my loved ones were sick, I could worry til my heart really hurt.

When you first met a guy you liked, you would have what we call “butterflies in your stomach”. This was really exciting. It meant you liked him, there were chemistry between you two. When you talked to him, the butterflies just couldn’t wait to fly, your stomach felt funny; fun funny.

When you got together, you guys were passionate, you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. You wanted to heat his heartbeat, you wanted to feel his skin, you wanted to bite his nose. You just couldn’t have enough of him. He was addictive!!!

When you had your first unsettlement, you fought, you got bored with him, anything about him looked dull and annoying. But… you just couldn’t be without him, with no logical reason explainable.

When you knew him even deeper and you knew his family and his friends and even you didn’t like some of them, you decided to stay. You found out his weird bad habit, you found out his sad past, yest you stayed.

When you couldn’t wait to see him, just to get cozy with him, wrapped your body on his arms and just talked all night. For you the best place on earth is anywhere as long as you’re in his arms. And suddenly all of the love songs you’ve heard made sense. :)

When you were busy at work and then you stopped for a while for coffee and then you caught yourself smiling thinking about him and how he was cute on his spongebob boxer dancing to a Barry White song last night.

When you received a very exciting news and you cannot wait to tell him.

When you realized that he’s your best friend in the whole world and you could count on him and he would do anything for you.


Those whens don’t always have to come in that order, but those whens are necessary for a love story. Medicore loves don’t have those things.

Why mediocre love?

Medicore loves happen when two persons have goal to get married, so they just find some candidates and whoops, this candidate looks okay, and my parents agree, oh well… let’s get married and have babies and repopulate the earth! Yaiy!

I would prefer live my life alone and happy than settling down with mediocre love. NO HELL WAY. My mom and my dad are two amazing people, but they are mediocre love to each other and for everyday in my life, I regret that they got married.

I know society sucks, they push you and you delude yourself into a made-up romanticism that you created in your head and then you settle down for less… much less… For mediocre love.


For this one person, you might be his mediocre love, but for somebody out there, that one particular person, YOU ARE HIS WORLD.

Why shouldn’t we have mediocre love? (It’s easier, huh?)

Life is only once.

You could have a mediocre house, drive a mediocre car, work in a mediocre company, watch a mediocre movie, eat a mediocre hamburgers, but.. you should not settle down with a mediocre love. NO. A gazzilion million times NO.

Love is sweet, it’s comforting, it’s liberating, it’s everything that a cotton candy should have. :)


May, the romantic one.


14 thoughts on “Are you with your mediocre love?

  1. Agree!…. mediocre love = not love at all….!
    Tapi yah, di daerahku ya, malahan aku liat lumayan banyak juga yang menikah itu bukan karena cinta, kebanyakan itu orang2 yang menikah di usia yang terbilang udah dewasa, jadi ceritanya, daripada ga merit dan menjadi bahan omongan….atau ya cinta diukur seberapa tebal dompet sang kekasih. Yah yang pasti bukan cinta sih, hanya karena kepentingan aja.
    Tapi jujur ga heran sih kenapa banyak yang gitu. Menurut mama saya ya, dulu itu kan biasa mereka dipaksa buat merit, cinta ga cinta, pokoknya merit, jadi ada beberapa yang masih menurunkan doktrin itu ke anak-anaknya, tetapi ada juga yang malah mau menghilangkan kebiasaan itu, tapi karena di Makassar masih termasuk sedikit kolot lah ya, jadi masih ada beberapa yang masih memakai sistem zaman baheula…ya lo merit karena bibit-bebet-bobot pasangan anda. Bukan cinta.

  2. Looking back I think my personal experience is that Love is an Alpine landscape; breathtaking peaks, wild rivers and cascades, quiet, peaceful valleys, beautiful lakes, but also dangerous avalanches and, yes, even boring meadows and uninspiring tourist hotels.

    No, indeed never settle for a mediocre relationship.But it’s wise to keep in mind that chances are one does hit upon a period of time when the fire is only merely smouldering. That’s the ultimate test: genuine amor vincit omnia (real love overcomes any obstacle).

  3. kadang-kadang aku liat orang ada juga yang pas baru nikah love nya ga mediocre, tapi setelah lama nikah gitu hubungannya jadi lebih kayak temen gitu, cuek-cuek aja. Mungkin ga tuh ya berubah jadi mediocre ?

  4. Personally i would think my love story back then is beautiful, but 5 years marriage with 2 kids while there is a big need for money, sometimes left us more like a partner who split tasks between us. Who works for money, who takes care of kids, and sometimes left us no time for romantic things (geez, or even do deep talks, bcos we both busy with our kids).

    But yeah love story is always a good remembrance of how we fall to each other. And love goes deeper in marriage: not just romance, but commitment: to be stick on each other while u in bad mood, upset, downhill condition, etc.

    BTW I like your writings, just reading some of ur past posts. can I put your link on my blogroll list? Thank you

  5. Kak gua baru jadian nih semoga level asmara kami ga menurun ya *halah* LDR soalnya, so butuh extra effort to make our love not a mediocre ones ;)

    Doain ya kak, thankyou.. and good luck menjelang hari-H! ;)

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