#30daysblogging My gay friends

Day 4

Post is an idea from Icha Felicielo

I was eighteen years old when one of my good friend called me and asked for a coffee. We then met up at Gloria’s Jeans somewhere in Jakarta. I was just started my college then and I had a major crush with my lecturer.

We shared stories and then when it came to the live life talk, she said “I can never get married…”

“Why? Are you into someone who’s married? Because I am too.” I was referring to my lecturer who was happily married.

She answered, “no. I’m into a girl.”

It was the first time I had a friend coming out to me. And somehow, I’m glad she did.

I was really supportive to her. I listened to all her problems which I could never relate to and I always reminded her that nothing would ever change between us. She would always be my friend.

She was in a long distance relationship with her girlfriend after that and she had a hard time being true to herself. I could see it wasn’t easy to be a lesbian or gay man in Indonesia where people judge you so harshly. It was sad to hear her stories and it was even sadder because her girlfriend was half globe away from her. :(

When I heard her love story with her girlfriend, I never imagined it to be something weird or disgusting or whatever people call it. It is still love and it’s still beautiful and never even once it appeared in my mind about whether they are two girls in this story. Love is universal and inside my mind it just appeared to be TWO PERSONS falling in love.

The most important thing was… I learned how to accept my friends no matter what. To love a friend unconditionally. And now, 10 years later I still feel the same way. I never label anyone as gay or lesbian or anything. If they’re nice, then they can be my friends.

I have some gay guy friends who are openly out about their sexuality and I think it’s very very brave of them to come out, especially in Indonesia where people still frowns upon this stuff. I just hope people could be more open minded. Somebody’s sexuality is not anyone’s business so people could just back off.

I don’t care if my friend is gay or lesbian, as long as they don’t hurt me or betray me, then THEY ARE MY FRIENDS.

Is it true that gays are girls’ bestfriend?

Well I think it might be true. It is always fun to talk to gay guys. They are outspoken, lively and fun to be with. And we can check cute guys out together! :D

I believe I have gaydar (gay radar) which means a radar that can tell whether somebody is gay. It’s been numerous times that I had feelings about my closeted gay friends which turned out to be true! I think it’s my superpower. LOL

Oh I hope everyone could be honest to themselves and come out about their sexuality. I know it’s not easy, but if any of you read this, and you happen to be my good friend, I hope you’re comfortable enough to come out to me. I’ll be totally fine with it. It doesn’t matter you’re gay, you’re already weird to begin with. ;)


May, trying to be a good friend.

15 thoughts on “#30daysblogging My gay friends

  1. iya lah preference orang kan beda2 ya… gak boleh judgmental…
    lagian kalo mau bertemen ya harus terima apa adanya ya… gak masalah ama pilihan lifestyle mereka… selama gak merugikan kita kan ya…

  2. Agree ci,
    i my self, my best friend ever i have is a lesbian, but no matter as long as she is nice, she can be one of my best friend ever i have till now.
    Kita ga pernah tau apa yang mereka rasakan, hak mereka dan keputusan mereka mimilih jalan toh mereka ga ngerugiin dan ga mengganggu sema sekali kan :)

  3. I have a gaydar too May, developped during my dancing career :-) I have a lot of gay friends. I know what they have gone through, judgements, isolation. You know what I don’t get, some people who believe homosexualism is a disease.

  4. Sampai detik ini belum ada teman yang jujur ngomong ke saya kalau dia homoseksual sih. Cuma kalau ada yang coming out pertama kali ke saya rasanya keren juga karena itu berarti dia percaya sama saya. Hehehe… Saya gak anti gay dan anti lesbian. Saya menghargai apapun preferensi seksual orang lain. Tapi, seperti yang kamu bilang, di Indonesia kita belum bisa dengan lapang dada menerima orang-orang yang preferensi seksualnya berbeda dari mayoritas.

  5. setuju banget….! Kalo mau berteman itu bukan dilihat dari orientasi seksualnya tapi dari baik dan buruknya orang itu. Biar dia straight tapi kalo kerjanya pake obat terlarang mah sama aja dong?

  6. Betul May, kalaupun dia gay ya apalah hak kita buat ngejudge semena2? Lagian ada di posisi mereka aja udah susah, ga perlu nambah2in susahnya. Mudah2an org2 disini bisa lebih terbuka pikirannya

  7. May…
    Memang di Indonesia masih jarang banget orang yang berani ngaku bahwa dia gay yah…
    Mungkin karena si Indonesia kebanyakan masih judgemental dan nyangkut2in ke agama gituh…

    Tapi kalo menurut gue sih yang bisa menentukan masalah dosa atau gak hanyalah Tuhan, tugas kita di dunia ini mah sebagai manusia hanya bisa berfikiran terbuka dan berbuat baik aja kepada sesama nya…

    Dan gue juga punya 1 gay friend…ini sebenernya unik juga lho May…
    Karena dia salah satu temen gue di Touch Korea Tour gituh, sama2 pemenang waktu pergi ke Korea dulu, tapi kita beda negara…

    Dan waktu ke Korea dulu kita sempet backpacker dan harus nginep satu kamar gituh rame rame ber 4 biar ngirit lah. Jadi dia khusus kirim email ke gue dan nulis : Bilangin ama suami lo yah, kalo gue itu gay jadi gak usah khawatir! Gak papa kan yah kalo kita satu kamar?..bhuahahaha…

    Dan akhirnya gue pun jadi terpaksa berbagi Lee Min Ho deh ama dia, karena ternyata dia juga nge fans buaanget ama si Lee Min Ho. Huh!
    *abaikan ending nya*

  8. Setuju May, aku pun punya beberapa temen cowok yang gay dan mereka open banget, lama2 ya jadi asik temenan sama mereka. Sayang di indo orang2nya belum bisa sesantai itu nerima hal2 yang kaya gini..

  9. I wanna have an homo friend. I have friends whom I suspect as gay, buat they haven’t confessed on me. Perhaps they were still embarassed. I just don’t mind if my friends are actually gay. To me, homo is a guy whom you can talk to and can speak as guy without feeling sexual attraction to me.

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