Loved. Blessed. Inspired.

Before Bandi proposed to me, he had already told me that he wanted a church wedding, so when I said “yes”, I knew what I said yes too. I knew I had to go through all the catholic administration hassles because well… I’m a non-catholic.

When Bandi and I met the priest for the first time asking for a marriage, he told us to pick either a marriage preparation course or a weekend retreat for couples. And oh I’m so glad Bandi picked the second one.

This Catholic Engaged Encounter was supposed to be just “a thing we had to do in order to get married” but then it turned out to be so meaningful that it was probably one of our turning point as a couple. :)

I can’t blabber the details of the EE (engaged encounter) because they advised us not to blog about it for personal stories they’ve shared and also it is better for anyone to come there clueless and open minded.

The environment is non-threatening and safe for the non-catholic partners. I met a lot of interfaith couple and it was soooo comforting to know there are a lot of couples out there who are struggling like us. The best thing was… The priest and the mentoring couples assured us that inter-faith marriage is just as lovely as same-faith marriage and that we should see the inter-faith marriage as a blessing instead of hindrance. That’s so heart-warming. (In your face, people who said inter-faith marriage won’t work!)

Bandi and I were free from handphones and we focused completely on each other. We were communicating so intensely and intimately. We poured our hearts out in writings. It’s so amazing how Bandi could be so different to tell his feeling when he was writing instead of talking.

I can’t say a lot about the details but I really recommend every catholic/inter-faith with one catholic couple to attend this retreat before they get married. Bandi and I love this retreat and we’re glad we did it. =)

If anyone googled about CEE and directed to this post, listen…

Come with open mind and positive attitude and you will benefit so much from this retreat. =)

One or two things to share with everyone (and also a reminder for me in the future)…

  1. When you feel something’s wrong, always ALWAYS communicate with your partner. Don’t assume. Talk.
  2. To love is a decision. It is a verb. You have made a decision to love. =)
  3. Say “forgive me” when you know you’re wrong and mean it. Lower your ego.
  4. If you can’t solve a problem talking, try writing to each other. It’ll work.
  5. Be the person who always sees good in others.

And this is from a girl who didn’t believe in marriage. How ironic is that? But I’m so glad I erased my doubt because I believe marriage could be wonderful. :)


May, leaving the cynicism. 


12 thoughts on “Loved. Blessed. Inspired.

  1. gue setuju banget sama semua point2 diatas, terutama yang no.4.
    Itu masalah gue pas awal2 pacaran sama SN, sampe akhirnya dia sadar kalo gue lebih bisa marah-marah/ngamuk/protes lewat tulisan daripada lewat kata2. Akhirnya tiap kali berantem, dia sodorin hapenya supaya gue bisa tulis semua amukan gue, hahahahahha. It worked.

    Btw, congrats May! Satu step lagi udah dilewatin. Semoga lancar ya.

  2. Ohhhh the 5 points above are somehow difficult to do…..but yes itu kunci penyelesaian dari semua permasalahan couples ya mayyyy…. thanx for reminsing. And congrats for both of u…..semoga lancarrrr for ur Big day…

  3. Kayanya konsep retreat2nya bagus ya *penasaran*
    Nomor 4 juga gw banget tuh. Benny udah tau deh kalo gw mendadak terdiam dengan muka datar, biasanya bentar lagi bakal ada email masuk di inbox dia. hwahahahahaha

  4. Kalo di Jakarta adanya course gitu May, 2 hari. Kayaknya lebih seru kalo Retreat ya. Pas waktu dulu sih gue pas pagi-paginya sih masih ok, masih seger, pas udah siangan udah mulai ngantuk dan bosen.

  5. Di Indonesia gak ada retret pranikah May. Gue rasa karena saking banyaknya couples yg mau nikah. Preparation course aja pesertanya ratusan orang… zzz zzz zzz… apalagi kalo pembicaranya ga asik.

    Seneng dengernya step by step udah lewat. Dan administrasi Katolik itu memang ribet. Tapi menurut gue, kalau memperjuangkan cinta ya emang kudu bisa lewatin yang ribet. Abis nikah, makin banyak lagi urusan yg lbh complicated drpd sekedar administrasi. Makanya, bikin aja admin seribet2nya, biar org lbh menghargai perkawinan hwhahahaha…. *ngasal abis gue*

    Semangat ya May!

  6. Setuju bgt sama poin2 di atas, apalagi yang nomor 1. Banyak komunikasi terutama kalo berantem harus diselesain sebelum matahari terbenam, dan bener banget memang. Masalah ga berlarut-larut tidur juga nyenyak. Hihihi :)

  7. pasti bgs banget ya retreatnya :) kl d bandung dl d katedral ada bimbingan yg tiga bulan, sminggu sekali gitu kt tmn si lebi bagus drpd KPP (kursus persiapan pernikahan) yg cm 3 hari doang tp sayang ga bs ikut yg 3 bulan.. KPP oke sih but i feel it was not enough.. :) btw salam kenal ya.. lancar2 persiapannya :)

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