Broken heart

This is a broken hearted post. No gimmick.

This is a swearing about how I said I never love again,

About how I woke up every morning with a big hole inside my heart,

About how I cried everytime I heard a love song,

About how I constantly missed his body wrapped around mine and how I deluded myself that I actually slept beside him.

About how I was playing possibilities of how my life turned out to be if I didn’t meet him,

About how I was regretting falling in love,

About how I was angry to myself for letting people in,

About how stupid I felt for still loving him after he resented me,

About how I begged, how I cried my heart out, how I manipulated every scenario, how I broke down, how I was so cynical of everything else…

It took me months to recover,

It took me countless sleepless nights with girlfriends, tons of un-replied sms, and a final morning when I didn’t feel the hole anymore.

No, I didn’t exaggerate it at all. Having yout heart broken is the worst feeling in the world. I have never and will never turn down a friend who needs me to be there when they’re broken hearted. Because all i wanted was a friend, and I remember how it felt so bad… to be broken hearted.

If you think I wasn’t strong enough, you’re wrong.

Every woman or man, no matter how strong, how independent and how awesome they are, would still be fallen into pieces when they were broken hearted.

If you think everything I said was bullshit then lucky you, you never had your heart broken.

Falling in love is a risky and dangerous act. Giving your heart to someone and trust them completely? I always thought it was too much, but then I didn’t realize it until it has already happened.

Did I love again?

Did I finally wake up in the morning without the hole in my heart?

Did I stop crying when I heard the sad song for the thirteenth times?

Did I erase the regrets?

Did I finally sleep alone without my girlfriends?

Did I smile again?

Of course, dear… =)

I remember a scene from sex and the city the movie when Mr Big left Carrie on her wedding day and Carrie was broken hearted and she said to her friends, “will I ever laugh again?”

I cried…. like crazy.

I couldn’t imagine the feeling of being so heartbroken you thought you would never laugh again.

But hey… she laughed again. :”)

I know, seriously I know, dear… it hurts so so so bad.

I know.

But there will be no rainbow without the rain and there will be no sunrise without the darkest dawn.

Maybe you’ll say “Cut that crap!” but I can’t do much now unless saying those craps hoping to make you feel better.

I just want you to feel better.

Because it’s better to love and to lose than to never love at all.

See, I’m saying those craps again.

Don’t worry. You’re gonna be fine. Trust me. =)

I’ll see you in four weeks. And we’re gonna laugh. I promise.

Love always,

Your very good friend.

28 thoughts on “Broken heart

  1. yeah…I remember that scene from the movie!!! In the end, she smiled again, no matter how heart-broken she was!! Time, lots of tears and b*tching to your friends really help to seal up the wound.

  2. (Talking to the broken-hearted person) Almost everyone has suffered painful and sad when falling in love. That is a inevitable part when two people in love with each other. In this page, we share some of the best sad love quotes. Hope you can find your feeling here and feel better!

  3. May, my previous experience with love was also very bad! Bayangin rasanya sudah jatuh cinta dan percaya kepada seseorang, dan hampir menyerahkan the rest of your life ke orang tersebut, mendadak semuanya berubah.Tapi kan selalu ada cahaya setelah lorong yang gelap dan panjang, dan cinta sejati itu datang dengan cara yang tidak pernah kita duga. Dan pada saat kita melihat kebelakang, kita beneran bakalan ngetawain “kebodohan” kita di masa lalu.

  4. I feel sorry for the lady. It’s tough. Though, ehm granddad speaking, except for a few blessed human beings broken hearts are like measles and chicken pox; they use to be an actually inescapable part of life. And can be beautiful too ( at least when someone turns it into art – like La Vie dÁdele.

  5. Ahhhh , pas banget adek gue lagi patah hati. kasian tahun baru udah patah hati :'(
    memori2 patah hati gue dulu pun jadi keluar lagi.nostalgia. hehe. It took me a year to heal my broken heart completely.
    tapi dari pengalaman, patah hati adalah guru yang baik, dia ngajarin banyak hal.
    jadi gue bilang sama cowok yg bikin adek gue patah hati itu (berhubung gue kenal): it’s okay, I’m not mad with you because you broke my sister’s heart. instead, she is getting her life lesson. I believe she will learn alot.

    tetep aja gue sebagai kakak kesel sama cowok itu, tapi daripada fokus ke menghujat si cowok, gue lebih fokus ke adek gue sih. jadi ya gitu deh, gue lagi sering2 nginep di tempat adek gue buat curhat2an,nemenin dia foya2 menghibur diri. hehehe.

    semoga temannya dan juga semua yang patah hati segera move on. amiinn.

    btw, salam kenal ya, selama ini jadi silent reader. I always love the energy in your writings. :)

    • Hi Theresia, salam kenal juga! ;)
      What you said is right, semua hal yang terjadi di hidup kita either jadi blessing atau ladi lesson. Nah patah hati ini lesson yang sangat beraaaaaaaaat dipelajarinya, tapi bener2 pelajaran bermakna lah ;)
      Thanks for sharing your story. =)

  6. Reblogged this on Moi POV :) and commented:
    For my dearest friend who’s struggling in the name of love..
    Keep your faith and don’t ever lose your way back to smile ;)

    Hope this post from an inspiring woman can help you even just a little
    All my best wishes for you~

  7. Halo salam kenal Ci May. Selama ini aku cuma jadi silent reader di blog ini hihik.
    Anyway, boleh izin reblog post ini? Makasih :’)

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