If I never met Bandi

Sometimes I play what-ifs with Bandi and he (unwillingly) played along. The what-ifs were various from “what if you could only live by eating only tuna forever?” (Bandi hates tuna smell) or “what if I had a growing penis, would you still marry me?” to the serious what-ifs like “what if I couldn’t have children?” Or “what if I had cancer?”

But the most occurrence what-if question was “what if we never met?” How would our lives be?

You guys must know that I’m head over heels in love with Bandi. I mean, I don’t only love him, I LOVE HIM, with capitals.

So how would our lives be without each other?

Sadly to say, the answers weren’t so romantic… If we never met, I would probably met somebody else and that guy probably would fall in love with me so hard because well, I’m adorable, and then if I loved him so much too then we’d be in relationship. But most importantly, if I never met him, I’d probably be a serial dater, and of course I would work for UN, probably lived somewhere like Congo or India, to lead a Unicef team to build school, empowering unskilled women and stuffs like that. I would move around every two years to different parts of the world. I think it was the single life I’ve always wanted.

What about Bandi? Well he said he would not go to US because he wasn’t so motivated to “see the world” before he met me. He would probably finish his degree and went back to his hometown, found a girl and married one.

But then…. I realized something just now.

Our answers were not true at all!!!

Come on!!! It is so impossible that Bandi was created to be someone else’s husband. I mean, I bet all the money in the world that he was created custom-made for me!

So I was thinking… If we never met back then in college, then we would definitely meet sometime later in our lives. Let me make up some scenarios…

1. What if my father didn’t come back from Australia and I was born there and lived there for the rest of my life?

Well in this case, I think Bandi would probably still go to US for his college because he got the scholarship, and then he continued to work there and in some point his company allocated him to Australia, and then we finally met maybe somewhere in Sydney. I was walking my dog and my dog walked towards him and I dressed my dog in Italian Jersey and we started conversation with “you like football, huh?” and we fell in love.

2. What if Bandi was accepted at NTU and went to Singapore for collage?

I would still be living my life almost the same. I probably didn’t go for UN because I needed to support my family financially so I preferred to work in Singapore. Bandi had finished his college and continued working in Singapore too and at some point we met, probably in an Indonesians outing in East Coast park. We rode bikes and then I saw Bandi’s Juventus key chain and I mocked him and then we had a conversation about football and we fell in love.

3. What if I never got the scholarship in college and I had to drop-out from it before I met Bandi?

I would probably be working my ass off in my twenties and would live in Jakarta all my life, while Bandi continued his college in Bandung and went back to his hometown to continue his family’s business. My high school friend, Septian married Bandi’s high school friend, Erlina and we were both invited to their wedding. We met on that wedding and we started the conversation with “you like football, huh?” and we fell in love.
(P.s. Septian and Erlina are true characters and they did have their wedding last month. True story.)

4. What if Bandi dropped out from junior high school and became a punk and he lived in Palembang of all his life?

I would still be living my life almost the same but then in 2009, when I was working in Femina I was sent to Palembang to cover the Indonesian beauty pageant and when I visited one of the good pempek (fish cake) stall I met Bandi. Bandi was riding his motorbike and I saw his Juventus painted helmet and I commented about it, “you like football, huh?” and then we had the conversation about football and we fell in love.

5. What if Bandi never came back from US and never asked me back?

This would be the saddest of all because I would think he didn’t want to be with me anymore. I would probably face a very difficult time to move on but then I would eventually make it. Three years later I received a scholarship from an American Fine Arts college and I moved there. And I wrote in my facebook status, “Living my dream”, checked in Atlanta, USA. Bandi read it and took his car keys, drove all night from Austin to Atlanta and the next morning when I opened my door, there he was, standing still and looking straight at me, saying “hey you.” And then we fell in love all over again.

Not only this post has proven that I’m a drama queen and a good story maker, it’s also trying to say that love will always find the way.

I believe that it is impossible for Bandi and I not to meet. I may believe in fate, I may not. I don’t know. But I know somehow Bandi and I were meant for each other. If we didn’t meet nine yeas ago, then it would be another time. But I’m sure that we eventually would. We would always find each other.

It’s true that I am a romantic and I’m not scared to show off my love to Bandi. I think it is a good thing because before I met him, I was a skeptic. I’ve always been a romantic, but I had a trust issue back then. I loved the feeling of falling in love but didn’t really trust anybody to fully read my soul. That was probably why I didn’t believe in marriage too. However, I’m so glad I opened myself to Bandi and I know this sounds so Disney-like movie but it’s true that…

Love is the most powerful thing on earth.

I’m gonna share a personal story which really moved me. I had a bad relationship with my brother. He abused me physically and mentally when we were kids. I never loved him and I blamed him for all the bad things happened to me up until my teenage years. He apologized and then did bad things to me and my family again and then apologized and then screwed up and apologize and then screwed up and repeat a thousand times.

Four years ago I’ve had enough and I confronted him. I asked him to never disturb me and my mom again. We fought and he kicked my stomach and he threatened to kill me. Three months later I moved out from Jakarta to Singapore. I’ve never talked to him again for so long.

Last week, he sent me a facebook message. He apologized for everything he’s done to me in the past. I had just finished my make up and I cried (Shit I have to re-do my mascara.) He always apologized before, but somehow this time he seemed sincere. He apologized without asking money, or things (in the past he apologized when he was out of cash.)
A week after that my sister texted me that my brother is undergoing a medication for a serious illness. I was sad. I never thought I would ever care about anything happened to him.

I never talk about my brother. Most of the stories were sad but I guess it’s never too late to love someone. For all my life, I’ve never loved him. Last week was the first time I heard “I love you my sister” from him. It tore down the wall I had built between us instantly. I had forgiven him and decided to learn how to love a brother, the thing I never thought I would ever do. And most importantly, I let myself to trust him.

I was so hurt I never thought I could ever trust anyone, especially guys. Meeting Bandi was the best thing that happened to me. Not only he loves me unconditionally, he taught me how to love back, how to let other people to love you the way you are, be honest with your feeling and not to be scared. Loving is trusting. You open your heart to a risk of hurt or betrayal. But to love is a wonderful feeling. It is so powerful it can change your life.

I watched Frozen the other week and I was sobbing like crazy because the movie was so damn good and it taught us that love indeed is a powerful thing. You just have to use it right.

Back to my what-if question, “What if I never met Bandi?”

I would never be born in a world where I would never meet Bandi because his purpose of life is to give my life meaning, and my purpose of life is to give him dreams. Universe meant it to happen.

Oh and I’m sooooo glad I did meet him. :)

“So you like football, huh?” and I played his keychain.

“Yes. Juventus!”

“Ew, bad choice.”



“HUAHAHAHAHA” he mockingly laughed.

I was angry and I accidentally broke his keychain. From that moment on, I was “the Parma girl who broke my keychain” for him and he was “that annoying juventus guy who had a cute keychain” for me.

The rest was history.


May, loving bravely.

61 thoughts on “If I never met Bandi

  1. Oh my…Maaaay, I LOVE stories like this. It’s wonderful that you’ve found him, learned to trust and love again after so many bad experiences in the past. You’re definitely a dreamer, a hopeless romantic and an accomplished story teller (esp. on love-related stuff);p

    If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be, right? As always, I love your postings! Keep on writing:)


    *wish I could learn how to trust again real soon:) *fingers crossed* hehe…

  2. uhuy uhyu prikitiuw!!! hahaha … you are madly in love with bandi and that’s great!!!!! :)
    well, i do the “what if” game too with raimond .. hihihi

    gw juga nonton frozen mewek! gw sedih pas si anna ngajakin elsa build snowman huhuhuhuhu ..

  3. May!!! How romantic auuhhh!!!! Beneran…aku sih lebih realistis ya, kalo ga ketemu sama Ridson ada kemungkinan sampai sekarang belum merit sepertinya…trus palingan ya dijodohin gitu kalo ga nikah-nikah…hahahaha…

  4. ya ampun sampe terharu gua bacanya… ya about you and bandi, ya about you and your brother.

    anyway gua setuju lho ama yang lu bilang kalo pasti ada aja jalannya buat lu dan bandi ketemu karena you meant each other. gua percaya banget itu kalo emang cinta pasti akan ketemu jalannya… :)

    • Thank you for reading it man and to grasp the meaning of the writings. That love will always win. :)
      I love to see how Andrew and Emma interact in their photos. They’re gonna be best buddies and will protect each other, like Anna and Elsa ;)

  5. How romantic May! Love is certainly is the air. The answer of you question is an array of what ifs. The reality if you did not meet him, stays mystery. I believe if I had not met my husband, I’d be a lecturer somewhere and stay single ha…ha…

  6. G jg dulu maenan gini may.. gimana klo g sama hubby ga ketemu.. sama deh, yg ada kita mikirin skenario laen yg memungkinkan bikin kita bedua ketemu.

    Anyway, sorry to hear about the relationship between u and ur bro.. but in the end, blood is thicker than water.. sejelek2nya anggota keluarga, pasti ada rasa care.

  7. May lo sih beneran ada-ada aja deh.. kalo main what’s if sih gw maklum ya, gw juga suka berandai2 kaya gitu sama utin (tapi bedanya utin suka bete kalo uda keterusan hahaha). tapi sampe bikin skenario kaya gitu??? gw sampe speechless hahahaha.

  8. This post brings such a HUGE smile on my face this morning, May! What an instant mood lifter… Thank you for that ;) you guys are ridiculously sweet. You definitely are a romantic ya!
    My husband is a pragmatist who doesnt like to play what ifs, haha. I honestly couldn’t imagine being with someone as emotional as myself, but once in a while I thought maybe if that’s how my life turned out instead of meeting my husband, I would end up leaving that person because I wouldn’t know how to handle an emotional man…. In search of a pragmatist like my husband. So I suppose it works out for the best that I already have one! hehe.

  9. Wow, another love letter. And you set a new record.

    In summary is what you say:

    So there was no escape from the beginning. Like you always were his destiny, so is he yours.
    All facts, all situations and decisions were predestined to lead to where you are now . Had there been other facts, situations and decisions you would have dealt with, handled and taken, you would have dealt with, handled and taken it differently and the outcome would have been the same. But with one exception; it probably doesn’t work without the impact of Serie A :).

    But you say it a million times more beautiful, a million times better. If you had been my ghost-writer my love letters would have been masterpieces as well.

    PS Hope your brother will recover soon.

    • Thank you Jerry. :)
      But you’re a living proof that love is powerful. Since we met you Bandi likes to quote “remember Jerry said that we would still fight even 40 years from now.” Everytime I’m mad at him.
      I hope Bandi and I will stay together forever like you and Babe. :)

  10. May tunggu ya *lap lap air mata* sumpe ya ini bagus banget dan jujur banget perasaanmu soal kau dan Bandi. Aku sama Edi (well aku sih yg ngotot melakukannya) suka main what-if what if an kalo aku atau dia jadi ngambil kampus lulus umptn dan bukan stan dan kami gak ketemu thn 97 itu, dan aku suka kreatif mengarangnya sementara Edi gak kreatip (alias cuma cccck ckk doang),dan baca ini aku seneeeeng bangeeet, karena aku percaya soal we are meant to be.
    Kau inget film Serendipity? Dulu pas nonton aku ngerasa film itu klise, tapi setelah menikah (bukan pas pacaran ya) sama Edi, aku ngerasa itu film bener beuuuuut
    Dan pelukan virtual buatmu yang bisa melepas maaf ke abangmu ya, May. dan aku yakin kau bisa melakukan tindakan besar begitu karena cintamu ke Bandi dan cinta Bandi ke kau. Pengampunan cuma bisa dilepas sama orang yang tau artinya dicinta dan bisa mencintai dengan benar kan. *masih ngembeng*

    • Iya ndang!! Si bandi juga gak kreatif. Dia bagian cume dengerin aja sama gitu kayak edi, lebih banyak komen ga penting nya.
      Iyaaaa aku juga suka serendipity, tapi aku udah merasa film itu masuk akal jauh sebelum ketemu bandi malah, yah gimana gue romantis abis gini. Hahahaha
      Yes, true. Love always wins against all the anger and hatred. :)

  11. Ini sih romantis banget may! “jodoh ga lari kemana” nahhh itu dia judul lain buat kalian berdua.
    Btw, Juventus, parma and football jadi kata kuncinya yahhh hihihihi:D
    Mendadak mewek dibagian you and your brother. Well, The Love that Bandi has shown to you leads you to give a piece of forgiveness and share the love you have to your Brother. I think, that’s why God sent Bandi into your life!

    to love and to beloved is such a wonderful thing!

    I love this post (as always)

  12. may…..sungguh baca ini terharu tapi sempet kesel soal kamu ama saudaramu itu walo pada akhirnya aku mewek juga kalo ngalamin huhu, soalnya adek cowok aku juga bandel walo yah gak sampe kayak gitu sih. ahh Bandi emang jodoh banget yaa ama kamu. amin2 semoga kalian baik2 trus

  13. haha, berasa baca diary-nya bella/edward cullen… :lol:
    “kau adalah alasan keberadaanku di dunia ini” hohohoho…
    Ah, May. Aku terharu bacanya. Di bagian Bandi yg ngajarin kamu apa artinya cinta, dan di bagian runtuhnya dinding yg selama ini kamu bangun untuk kakakmu….
    Kita memang nggak bisa memilih keluarga kan, ya? Tapi semoga saja kita akan selalu menjadi berkah untuk keluarga kita… aamiin…

  14. aih may, terharu daku bacanya….
    about you n your brother, g bisa ngomong apa-apa sih, tapi itulah keluarga, dibalik kebencian selalu ada cinta di dalamnya sedalam apapun luka kita…*tsaaahhh dikeplak …

    yup, gueh jg percaya tuh, klo g ketemu sekarang nantinya pasti ada jalannya buat ketemu…

  15. May, sweet bgt sih ini ceritanyaaa :’) Ahh km memang cocok bgt sama Bandi. Km dan Bandi itu tercipta untuk saling melengkapi. I do believe in fate May, kadang bahkan suka bingung, kenapa dari sekian puluh juta laki2 di dunia kok kita bisa dipertemukan dgn orang yg 1 ini? Anyway, semoga awet sampe kakek nenek dan maut yang memisahkan ya May :)

  16. Aaaaa.. sweet banget ini postingannya.. Aku meweekkk.. If a boy and a girl really meant to be together, they will always find their way. :)

    My (another) favorite post from your blog nih May. Hiks.. *lap air mata*

  17. May…
    Romantis banget siiiih :)

    Jadi peran terpenting dalam kisah cinta lo ituh sebenernya adalah si gantungan kunci Juventus ituh yah :)

    JAdi inget dulu pernah ada buku disney yang ‘pilih sendiri petualangan’ mu gitu, pernah baca gak?
    Walopun jalan nya berliku liku…tapi tetep hepi ending lho :)

    Semoga kisah cinta mu dan Bandi seindah pelm disney dan drama Korea yah May :)

  18. Suka banget sama semua cerita ttg kisah cintanya dan bagaimana kamu menceritakannya.. huhuhu.. I’m one of your fan ^^

    Always read your blog walau ga selalu komen.. salut bgt deh may kadang aku juga suka pengen menceritakan perjalanan cinta g yg ceritanya kek sinetron hahaha.. tapi g gak seberani u buat nulisin semua di blog, karena pasti banyak kecaman dan cibiran sana sini hahahaa..

    Makanya g suka banget baca blog u ^^

    • Thank you Kalista.
      Well, yang komen jelek juga ada kok, yang nyindir2 juga ada, yang ngomongin juga ada, tapi yahhh dicuekin aja. If you listen to what other people say, you won’t be happy. =)
      Just do whatever you think it makes you happy. =)

  19. Awww…aduh aku tersipu sendiri bacanya *loh, ga nyambung* hahahahaa
    Daku selalu amazed sama orang yang dengan bebas dan ekspresif menyatakan perasaannya, super kwell!
    Semoga love story-nya bertahan terus dan terus dan teruss..teruussss

  20. honestly, aku terharu dan nyaris nangis baca postingan ini sis. T_T
    aQ juga punya hubungan yang kurang baik dengan adik laki-lakiku, walau memang ga separah apa yang sis alami, tapi sepeninggal Papa 2 minggu lalu aQ juga menyadari ternyata adik laki-lakiku manusia berperasaan yang pernah melakukan kesalahan seperti manusia lainnya termasuk aku :(

    for your love story, happy for you and your love :)
    as i know, Kasih menyempurnakan segalanya. Salam :)

  21. May, gw nangis nih baca cerita lo ma ur brother May. Syukur banget yah, berarti skrg dah baik banget hubungannya.

    Dann awww.. Maniss bangett sihh ituu ceritanya.. Pokoknya klo udah jodoh, skenario mau dirubah kek apa tetep ujung2nya sama Bandi juga :D

  22. kalo aku sama abi gak berjodoh (maksudnya, ga pernah bertemu), ya berati aku berjodoh sama orang lain yg lebih baik dari dia dan tentu kudoakan dia berjodoh dgn yg lbh baik dariku, wkwkwkwk.

    walopun dulu kupikir2 (pernah kutulis tp udah lama bgt, lupa aku kapan), kalopun kami gak ketemu di sekolah tpt kami sama2 ngajar, sepertinya akan banyak skenario lain yg masuk akal. yg jelas, aku ga pernah nyesel dulu kuliah S1 sampe 10 semester krn salah satu sebab aku bisa kenalan sama abi di sekolah itu ya karena aku lulusnya telat. klo aku lulus on time, mungkin akan ekrja di tpt lain. ga apply dan keterima di sekolah yg itu. lawong memang sekolah itu butuh guru baru, bbrp minggu setelah aku yudisium :D

  23. OMG! I am so in love with this blogpost.

    Until today I still have regrets about some decisions I made in the past. My friends tried to console me by saying that everything happens for a reason, I would never have met Mikko had I not made those decisions. But, come to think again, I am very very sure I would have met him anyway, by some other way.
    Just like you said, love will find a way.

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