This post is personally written for all the men out there! ;)
It’s been three months since the proposal and I still can remember every detail of the sweetness. I must say it’s probably one of the greatest days in my life and I would love to remember it forever. And I bet every men would love to create one perfect day for their loved ones too. So let me help a little bit.
Bandi asked me yesterday, “If you were a guy, how would you propose your girlfriend?” and I told him it depends on what’s my girlfriend like because proposal must be personal. My proposal might not be perfect for somebody else and vice versa. I asked him why he asked about that and he said since the proposal, some guys have asked him how to make the perfect proposal. Oh, isn’t that cute…?
Bandi also asked if it would be a better proposal if he proposed to me in Paris. I told him I don’t know that and I will never know because it didn’t happen but if you asked me whether I had the perfect proposal then the answer is yes. =)
Everything about my proposal is so personal and specially planned for me. That is why it was so perfect.
So guys, let me tell you…
how to make the perfect proposal…
1. Make sure she’s ready for marriage.
Don’t propose on the third date for god’s sake! LOL. My ideal timeline would be after at least 3 years being together. Make sure you’ve known her that well and make sure you know she wants marriage! If she doesn’t want it, try to make her want it with you! Have a talk about where this relationship is going and stuffs like that before you really propose. Just make sure that both of you are on the same page! If you two haven’t, then abort the plan!
This happened to me and Bandi. 8 months before the proposal he surprised me with a trip to Bandung and he wanted to propose but then I told him not to because I was still not ready for marriage so he aborted the plan. Just have faith that the right thing will happen on the right time. Be patience. =)
2. Location is everything!
There are two things that you must think about when you decided to propose to her: Where and what ring. We’ll talk about the ring later.
Think about the place she loves the most. Remember that you must elevate her mood in order to make the perfect proposal so you must bring her to a place that would give her a good mood. Some of the ideas are: her favorite restaurant or a restaurant where you had your first date or when you told her you love her or stuff like that. Beach, if she loves beach. Somewhere high and romantic like Singapore flyer (for example) but if she’s afraid of height (like me) don’t do that! A garden with so many candles or any dim-lit place with so many candles.
Another idea from the comments: Museum! This would be the perfect place for the history/art buffs. What about Disneyland? Who wouldn’t want to be proposed in Disneyland! =D
Whenever the proposal venue is, it would be more awesome if you took her on a flight. You surprised her with a flight ticket and bring her to her favorite city. It doesn’t need to be Paris or Maldives lah, somewhere memorable for both of you would do the trick.
Bandi did surprise me with a flight ticket and the feeling was… so awesome. He chose our favorite restaurant where we used to watch sunset on New Year’s eve. =)
3. Lighting, song and other personal touch.
Now that you’ve brought her to the venue, you may add personal touch such as your song with her, or the video that you prepared for her. Video is highly recommended because trust me, no matter how suck your video editing skill is, she will be touched and cry! I did! Song is also good enough to elevate mood. =) And don’t forget one special magic to elevate the mood, lighting!!! Some said most of babies were made out of good lighting. LOL
If she loves flowers and you know her favorite flowers, it is also highly recommended to give her flowers. Flowers are known to elevate mood too. =) My favorite flower is red rose (yeah I know, so predictable) so Bandi gave me 77 stalks of red roses to reflect our seven years together. I didn’t know why he didn’t just give me seven stalks, it would save him some bucks. LOL.
Personal touch like riddles, photos, cute messages, anything that can make her smile and happy. =)
Bandi did seven chain message because it was our seven anniversary when he proposed and he wrote riddles inside each envelopes (because I’m playful) of the things we never do before. Just try to be creative and do something that she will love.
Bandi also asked me to dance because I told him once that my idea of a perfect date must involve dance. ;)
4. You’re not a superman. Ask for friend’s help.
If you’re not that creative or if you’re stuck, don’t be ashamed to look for help. Try to reach out to her bestfriends. You can ask them for opinion or idea, but hopefully you created the whole idea by yourself because you’re marrying her so you must know how to make her happy. If you don’t then you’re screwed for the rest of your life. Asking for a help is allowed if you can’t do the showtime yourself.
Bandi asked my friend, Gery for a help, to pick up the roses and videotape the proposal.
5. The perfect ring.
If all of above failed to impress her, I bet the perfect ring will! Women are designed to be weak of sparkling things. LOL. I used to think I’m not a jewelry kind of gal but then I also fell in love with my ring. :p
First of all, it is okay to ask your girlfriend her dream engagement ring. You may ask her what kind of ring she want. Don’t worry that she will find out about the proposal. Everyone knows you will propose her eventually but she will not know when and where. Don’t take risk on this one because the ring will be stuck with her forever so you better give her something pretty to look at every single day of her life.
Ask her what kind of rock she wants? Diamond is probably the most common choice but she may ask for other type of jewels such as Ruby, Amethyst, Emerald, etc. Then what kind of gold? White gold? Yellow gold? Rose gold? If she can’t decide what kind of ring she wanted, try to understand her style. Is she vintage, classy, whimsical? If you still can’t decide, you may buy the Solitaire Diamond Ring. It’s the safe choice but also guaranteed will impress her. I know it seems like a lot of work and a lot of research but it’s gonna be once in a lifetime so it’ll be worth it.
Remember this: you don’t need to buy her the big carats. It’s not about how expensive the ring is but about how it suits her personality. If she truly loves you she won’t care about the size. =)
For my case, I’m that kind of girl who knows what she wants so I told Bandi the details of my dream ring. LOL.
6. Take photos!
My only mistake was probably the fact that I didn’t take many photos. But maybe it was because I was so shocked and speechless. Bandi did videotape the proposal moment but because the light was so dim, the video was like a total blackout. We only took two photos before we went out from the restaurant. It was taken also because my friend reminded us to take one. if he didn’t remind us to take photos, I might not have anything to remember the day by. So, remember to take photos! Lots of photos!
7. Do you really have to get on one knee?
YES YOU DO! LOL
No seriously, don’t ask this stupid question. It’s not a real proposal if you don’t get on one knee. I know it will look stupid and silly but it will melt your girlfriend’s heart, SERIOUSLY!
When the showtime has finally come, take out your ring box and get on one knee. You may say sweet words before you say the magic words.
What Bandi said was… (not in exact words, because I forgot the exact words) “We have been together for seven years and it’s been a great journey and I want to keep doing it for the rest of my life, so…” and then the magic words, “will you marry me?”
By the time you say the magic words he’s probably already crying like hell and let the ring do the magic. ;)
This is the most important thing of all. Take note that after she said yes, she’s no longer your girlfriend. She will be your future wife, the one you’ll be spending the rest of your life with so make sure you are fully committed to her. From the moment she said yes until you take your last breath, she will be your top priority. It won’t be too much of a task when you love her that much. =)
The first thing we did after the proposal was finding the wedding date. I have this idealism that somebody is not really engaged until there are a ring and a date. So we straightaway decided on a date. Thankfully it wasn’t so difficult. =)
The second thing to do was telling your parents and close friends. With social media these days, it would be easier to just post it on facebook. Please take note that you have already asked your girlfriend’s parents to take care of her and propose to her before you actually propose to her. This is very important. It’s a good manner to show that you’re being serious.
The third thing to do is… start planning the wedding and have fun! =)
When to propose and when not to propose?
I know not everyone do proposal in Asia, even though I must say it’s getting more and more popular. So there are pros and cons about proposal, however it is individual preference to do or not do it.
Not to propose
Some relationship has already started with too serious commitment which means from the first time they got together they already knew they would get married, so I think proposal is not necessary for the case. Some also prefer the proposal to be held between family, which we call it engagement where the ring exchanges is witnessed by the whole family. If the proposal will be held this way I don’t think personal proposal is still necessary.
If your family is not so strict about culture and tradition, personal proposal is necessary. Why do I think it’s necessary? Because once you said yes, it’s like the whole new commitment. You’re getting married. You’re saying yes not to the ring, but to marriage. I think it’s necessary to be committed to each other first before you tell your whole family.
But whichever your choice is, the most important thing is the commitment for the marriage itself. =)
Is the woman allowed to propose?
YES! Of course woman is allowed to propose. However, it is advisable to have the non-public proposal because usually men don’t like to be seen being proposed. You know men and their huge ego. People would mock him for not having the balls so better to have private proposal in a private venue.
Soooooo, I think this post pretty much explains I’m in a very good mood. LOL. Why am I in a good mood? Well, yesterday I was staring at my ring and mumbled, “It’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever had in my life.”
And Bandi replied, “really? I think YOU are the prettiest.”
If you’re stuck with ideas you can always email me for proposal ideas. Trust me, I have millions of them! Remember, I’m a self-claimed romantic. ;) I always love to hear love stories and help to develop them.
My friends usually look for me for anniversary ideas or gift ideas and I’m always happy to help simply because I find it fun to do things like surprises and gifts and parties. =)
Good luck with your love story! I bet it’s beautiful!
May, the self proclaimed romantic.