This is a post about a dating/relationship tips coming personally from me. For those who know me well enough, would know that this post is not trustworthy. LOL.
People tend to talk to me about love because I’m romantic (at least I think I am) and the fact that I survived a long term relationship. (They just didn’t know that all the credits go to Bandi. LOL) Take note that this is about relationship in general, not about romance. Romance and relationship are not always related. However, I have learned that woman expects too much from guys that she doesn’t even know that she’s the problem.
Don’t demand to have a perfect man of your version (whether he’s rich, handsome, Korean, or smart) when you are obviously not pursuing yourself to be a better woman.
Don’t just demand, demand and demand! Relationship is not only about you. It takes two to tango. And first of all, don’t be a bitch of everything. Don’t just expect to take, try to also give.
Be a woman who is/does…
Not only financially independent, but also socially independent. Don’t use excuses such as “I can’t go there by myself” or “there’s no one who accompany me.” Whether you are single or having a boyfriend/husband, DO NOT depend on your spouse for little things. Yes, you may depend on him when there is a fire or when you need comfort in the funeral, but don’t depend on him to find you a job, to pick you up from shopping or worse, depend on him FINANCIALLY. Wtf, woman, get a grip!
Laugh a lot
Men like a lady who covers her mouth when she laughs? Louis VI probably does but he’s a chauvinist dumb anyway.
True lady laughs when she hears something funny, I mean like literally laughing. And it is a bonus if you have a good sense of humour. After all, we, women like a man who makes us laugh, don’t you think man wants the same?
Have the power
I don’t mean for every woman to be alpha female. I don’t think it’s necessary to be an alpha female unless you’re a single mom raising 4 kids but woman cannot be powerless. If you are powerless, Ibu Kartini will seriously cry.
Have the power to say no to a guy, for everything he asks if you’re uncomfortable with, say no. Have the power to, in return, say what you want. Don’t just say no and then full stop. Say no and then say what you want. Men can’t read your minds.
You owe this to yourself. DON’T EVER CHANGE the way you perceive things just because people say so (or that particular guy hoped to.) Be confident not only in the way you dress, the way you do your hair, but also most importantly in the way you think. For whatever weird/silly/different the way you think or dress is, you will still look awesome when you are confident about it. Don’t ever change.
No matter how bad your past is, how horrible people say about you, don’t bother. (But don’t be so delusional too lah. :p) You need a true friend to tell the thin line sometimes.
But always remember this:
Say what you mean and mean what you say, for those who mind don’t matter and who matter don’t mind.
Honest and kind
There is nothing ever goes wrong with being honest. For all my life, only one thing that stays constantly with myself, that is being honest. You may encounter problems for being honest, but it will always be right.
Being kind is hard, but it also will be always right.
Able to do guy’s work.
“I can’t change the light bulb because my dad used to do it for me all the time.” Well, sweetie, you won’t live with your dad for the rest of your life. “Then my husband will do it.” Well, that’s true. But your husband might do other women too because you’re such a spoiled brat.
Doing guy’s work doesn’t change you to be a butch, it just shows that you are independent. It is true that man loves to feel needed (it’s their nature to be a prince/superhero) but prince will be tired too if the princess is asked to be saved again and again and again. Sometimes you must show him that you are capable to take care even guy’s work. It’s matter of fact a turn on for guys.
Full of Surprises
Don’t be a woman who flashes out all your positive values in the beginning of dating/relationship. Keep some for the guy to find it himself later. “Wow! You can paint?” or “Wow! You can play skateboard?” will give you another boost of confidence. His surprised face is a nice bonus.
Pays her own things
DON’T LET A GUY PAY FOR YOUR BAGS, or clothes or watches or any goods in the beginning of the relationship or dating. Remember this: in the first date, let him pay for everything. It is A MUST. (I’m a feminist! I won’t let him pay. STFU, I’m a feminist and I still think guy must pay the first date.) Bandi didn’t even let me pay for my angkot fees in our first date.
You may offer to pay politely but when he refuses, drop it off. He’s being a gentleman. If you like him, you may say “Next time is on me.” (This shows him that you want another date). So basically in first date, guys will pay for your meal, your entertainment fee (like movie tickets, fair tickets, skating fees and stuffs) and your transport (if both of you take public transport) or he will need to drive you home (if only him driving a car) or he will walk with you to the carpark and watch you go (if you’re driving). If he does less than that, it is okay to reconsider second date or have a girly talk with your girlfriends to decide the verdict.
But do remember this: DON’T BUY ANYTHING in the first date. First, because it is about getting to know each other and second, you shouldn’t let him pay for your things. If you let him, he will get the idea that he can buy your happiness. And trust me, you don’t want guys who think that making girls happy equals to showering her with gifts.
In a long term relationship, don’t let him pay for your phone bills and/or other personal bills, and for me, I don’t let Bandi pay for my things when I go shopping (but this is individual preference, however it’s up to you.) He may give you birthday/valentine/anniversary or no occasion present no matter how expensive but don’t let him pay for your shopping expense that you initiated.
I always tell my guy friends this “Don’t ever date a girl who doesn’t have best friends.” Why? Because once she become your girlfriend, you will be needy, whiny, clingy, you name it. She will need you to be with her 24/7 and suddenly you will be sucked into her depression.
Be a woman that has a good friendship with girls. If you don’t like friending girls because of their dramas and complications, then at least have a lesbian friend. But trust me, Girlfriends are great. =) It’s worth all the drama and sweats and tears. Haha
Stand up for herself
Don’t cry just because of small fights like he does things you don’t like. Woman up and tell him you don’t like that. If any other people tried to bully you, don’t go to your boyfriend and be a wimp, stand up for yourself! Unless Chuck Norris is the one who bullied you, then call your boyfriend lah.
Prefer to be single than in an unhappy relationship
Well, I don’t understand what’s so hard to be single, why people is so afraid to be single they chose to be in an unhappy relationship. Maybe it’s not relevant since the last time I was single is when I still had number one in the first digit of my age. Oh wait, I was technically single in my two years of LDR. And all I did (beside being a bitch to my Long Distance Boyfriend) was being a gym freak, had too much sleepover with girlfriends and went to awesome concerts. So yeah, your life is not over just because you’re single. Get over it.
If were born as a man would love to date herself
Let me ask you something, if you were born as a man, would you fall in love with yourself? If you do, then you are a narcissistic bitch. LOL. No lah, it means you are confident and you love yourself and that’s good. =)
Doesn’t need to be book smart, but street smart. But it won’t hurt to read more books and broaden your knowledge once in a while. You don’t need to act smart though, if you don’t know something, admit it, it would probably lead to an interesting topic and conversation. And the bonus is, you get to know something.
And this is important: Don’t be delusional. If a man cheats on you, don’t make an excuse “But he still loves me.” If you still insist, then close my blog please.
This is the most important, number one, super cool trait of a woman… to be herself.
Either you are a psychotic bitch, a tomboy with daddy issue, or a creative slacker. Nobody’s perfect but as long as you love yourself, proud to be yourself and bring the best out of yourself, then nobody can resist that charm.
So yeah, at the end of the day, just be whoever you want to be and be comfortable with it. Let people fall in love with who you really are. But don’t be a spoiled brat lah. LOL.
This is just what I have been observing for a while… that only smart, independent and confident woman get to live her life to the fullest, either being single or in a relationship. So, be that kind of woman.
Be the happy one.
Happy woman is the most attractive woman.
Don’t you think so, guys?
May, the smart-ass.