Disclaimer: This post is personal, please take note that I need the courage to share this with you. =)
I’ve been sick for the past ten days, so I didn’t really plan anything for my seventh anniversary. I know Bandi isn’t much a planner so usually he would just let me do whatever I wanted and brought me to dinner.
This year, I told him I didn’t want anything fancy for anniversary because I actually wanted to have a bed rest, but then yeah… you got it right, he proposed.
About talking about marriage.
I think all of my friends have been asking about us getting married more than we even really talk about it. I’ve never wanted a marriage myself so I never really bother talking about it. However it’s been two years since we started to live together and once in a while Bandi asked about whether I’m taking this relationship seriously but I never really answered it seriously lahhh. I usually just did silly things and pretended to be deaf.
The moment I realize that he meant what he said was when he brought me to a jewelry store. I was freaking panicking when he suddenly talked fluent diamond with the sales lady. He asked about the carats, clarity, certificate and shits I didn’t know. Holy crap, somebody has done some research!
He asked me what kind of ring I want for my engagement ring, and I was a total bitch, I literally panicked and kept saying let’s go. It happened last year.
About the first attempt.
I accidentally found the receipt of the ring when I tried to find something in Bandi’s ikea box. It was purchased on July 2012. There was a description of the ring in the receipt. About how many carats the diamond is and the other stuffs I didn’t understand. And I saw the price… And it’s fucking non-refundable.
THIS IS A BIG PRESSURE!!!!
Holy crap! I felt like packing my bags and just run the freaking away. I don’t wanna get married yet!!! How if he proposed to me? My life was about to oveeeerrr! Nooo!!!
On October 2012 he surprised me with a trip to Bandung, and I had the feeling that he’s gonna propose. Then I told him, “If you’re gonna propose, please don’t. I’m not ready and I’m gonna say no, and we would break up and it all turned ugly. And I don’t wanna break up with you. Just give me more time and be more patience.” (For the record, he was gonna propose.)
After that, the relationship went downhill. Bandi didn’t understand why I wasn’t ready and why I was being so difficult. A lot of my friends knew about this and I didn’t blame them to think that I was a heartless bitch and that I didn’t deserve a good guy like Bandi.
I wanted a proposal, who doesn’t want a fairy tale, right? But I just didn’t feel it was the right time. Bandi had just lost his grandma and I felt like he rushed things because he felt guilty that his grandma did ask him to marry me but then she passed away. And I still believed that there were some unfinished business between us, like talking about future and stuffs.
It is very hard to explain and you must know me well enough to understand my reasons but anyway, let’s move on.
All I know is… I’m glad Bandi never gave up on me. =)
About being ready.
I remember people kept saying that you’re never gonna be ready for marriage, that you just have to go the hell with it. Well, you’re wrong!!!! I don’t wanna just jump into it and figure out later. I don’t! I don’t wanna take the risk that I could regret for a lifetime. I’m a risk taker but not for a marriage. I wanna be hundred percent ready and wanting it like crazy and I will never going back!
So, during my bad patch of relationship with Bandi, this happened.
The whole missing the flight thing was like an epiphany.
I sill remember when Bandi arrived home after midnight and I saw him totally differently. This is the guy who went all the fucking troubles with me and still stayed. I’ve been complicated, unreasonable, difficult and selfish and yet he’s still there, never even complain once. He always ALWAYS believes in me.
And he took the last flight home going all the shits just to make sure I wasn’t home alone. And I felt like my life went on a flashback… He did fight for me in front of his family, he defended me through the bad years, he always protects me, always tries to make me happy and makes sure I’m always alright.
He left USA for me, the thing that I thought he won’t ever do. I just almost lost all of his important documents by leaving it in airport and he still forgave me and flew home for me.
And yet, I didn’t want to marry this guy? WHAT AM I NUTS?????
I remember he hugged me that night and I knew it for a second, that was where I belong for the rest of my life.
I was finally ready.
About wanting it.
After that missing the flight moment, I caught myself daydreaming about being Mrs. Cahaya. It felt silly for a while and I was so embarrassed of myself but then I found it so fun so what the hell. I daydreamed about calling him hubby, about saying the vow (I even wrote one haha) and saying I do and girls stuffs like that.
Then I kept hinting him like asking “is the ring this big?” while showing him my booger. LOL
About the ring
I knew he already bought the diamond ring and I would feel so guilty to trouble him but to be honest, I don’t want diamond. I want an emerald.
I fell instantly in love when I saw Kate’s engagement ring (which belonged to Princess Diana) but I didn’t want Sapphire of course and also couldn’t see myself wearing the plain diamond. I want an engagement which yells it totally belongs to May. And I always like emerald and the fact that emerald is my birth stone.
I’ve googled about emerald and it’s very rare to find a small carats of emerald to be crafted as a ring, it means it would have to be a bigger size of the stone and it would be expensive. So I was so dilemmatic of whether I should tell Bandi about this.
However the conversation about the ring came up and he asked me my dream engagement ring. I told him I always wanted an emerald crafted on a rose gold because rose gold compliments the sparkle of the emerald and it matches my skintone and of course because it’s so pretty.
(Later on he told me the story of how he went almost nuts looking for an emerald that he could afford. LOL. To make the story short, he exchange the diamond with the emerald after he finally found the franchised jewelry store that would accept the exchange.)
So when he proposed and opened the ring box, I was stunned.
It was the prettiest ring I’ve ever seen in my life. (Probably also the effect of euphoria) The one and only, an oval shaped emerald, surrounded by diamonds in a rose gold. I know this is so superficial, but goddammit, I am so freaking happy!!!
About the Proposal
I can’t tell the details because it would be so looonnnggg and of course so many personal stories involved. You must know me for lifetime to really understand the reasons why Bandi planned every detail. About why he chose the Con te Partire to ask me for a slow dance and the seventy seven red roses and the road trip and everything.
His plan was this… He wanted to do seven things that we never done together for our seventh anniversary. (Trust me Bandi and I did almost every possible thing we could haha) He created some kind of continuous cards that’s written the hint of the thing.
The fifth thing was an impromptu flight. He brought me to the city I love the most.
I was totally surprised! And I didn’t pack proper clothes lah. Hahaha. (I didn’t even pack shampoo so I had to wash my hair with Hotel’s shampoo and my hair went on sapu ijuk mode.) Anyway, he was so freaking sweet and he brought me to Maxi’s, my favorite restaurant, which we had our date long long time ago. He reserved the place on the balcony, a place when we used to see sunset on New Year’s eve.
He made a video and left me alone to watch the video. I was crying like a little baby, couldn’t contain my happiness. I can’t show anyone, even my bestfriend, the video, because for once, I want to keep this only for myself. =)
Bandi was pouring his heart out on the video, leaving his soul naked and open and if it was me, I would want to do it only for the one person I love. =)
He also gave me four photos that represent our seven years together and our future dream together. After the video ended, he showed up with seventy seven stalks of rose, and my bestfriend Gery behind, holding a camera, videotaping us. HOLY CRAP I knew it that moment that he was gonna propose!!!
So yeah, he gave me the roses and got on one knee, took out the box of ring and said the magic words.
The funny thing was, when he said, “will you…” I at once nodded my head because I saw the ring!!! HAHAHAHA! (I’m so shameless) However he asked “Will you marry me” and I was like a doggie doll on a car’s dashboard, kept nodding my head. He laughed and asked, “What???”
And I shouted “YESSSS!!!”
Not only engaged.
I’m engaged… to the love of my life, my best friend.
I can’t believe that I would ever want a marriage. But now it’s happening, it doesn’t feel scary. I kinda can’t wait to be his wife. LOL.
And I also can’t stop staring at my ring and smile everytime I see it… over and over again. It’s so freaking pretty I feel like a princess. Hahaha. I talked to Dian about the ring and it turns out I’m not the only shameless girl here. She was also crying like baby when Dan-Dan was about propose to her and once she saw the ring, it was like a magic that made a girl smile forever!!! Hahaha.
I never had a fine jewelry in my life before. Seriously, never. You know all my accessories are purchased through ebay! LOL. This is the first real thing I’ve ever had and it’s so goddamn freaking pretty!!!! It sparkles everytime I see it like talking to me. =) And I looooove the color and how the diamonds around it compliments the emerald. I love my engagement ring I’m so shallow!!! Hahahaha.
Ok, enough with that. (You get it how much I love it)
About the aftermath
The first thing in my mind after saying Yes was… I’m so gonna tell Ulen about this!!! And you know what??? She coincidentally were coming to Bandung the next day for some reunion event!!! Thank you Universe!! It’s so meant to be!!!
So the next day I spent my day with Ulen, asked her to be my maid of honor and took this photobox! Haha. I also asked her to help me distribute the 77 Roses to every women we met at Paris Van Java (because it’s impossible for me to bring back all the flowers to Singapore, right?) It was so cute how women react to stranger handing over roses. They all accepted it! Haha!
After I talked to her face to face, I publicly posted it on socmed and again, I loved the attention. Hahaha! (shameless, still shameless!!!)
Then I told Strawberry and other close friends, my mom and my sister. While Bandi of course has successfully made his brother, sisters and mom figuratively hippie dancing. So yeah, it’s pretty big happy news for both of us. =)
My mom has also already known because Bandi did tell my mom and my dad before actually proposed to me. Awww isn’t he the sweetest? He asked my Dad for a permission to take good care of his daughter. OH MY GOD I’m melted…
We also have set the date, because I told him, according to Gilmore Girls, you’re not really engaged until there’s a ring and a date. So we have set the date. We’re gonna get married on 7th June 2014, exactly 8 years when I first said yes to the question “will you be my girlfriend?” =)
(Or actually it’s just Bandi who can’t remember too many dates so he pack it all into one date? WTF?)
Anywayyyy, we’re not gonna bother too much about the wedding because after that day, I finally realize what I want in my life. I don’t fucking care of how my wedding would turn out to be, I just wanna be his wife. Period.
(and the fact that I still need to plan my Europe Trip holy crap!)
(and also the fact that my maid of honor is having an OCD so she’s gonna plan everything. HAHA)
And this is the end of my single life… no more flirting with cute guys (darn it). Who would have known, of all the people, I’m gonna settling down this fast. Hahaha. I’m getting married. Geez, still not get used to say it, “I’m getting married.”
So, for all the guys who are secretly in love with me, better luck next lifetime! Hahaha. Zero chance from this second! And that’s including you, Cristiano Ronaldo!! Yeah you! I’ve had enough waiting for you! HAHAHA
About what I feel.
Right now, I’m still over the moon. (unless the fact that my voice is gone because of the flu T.T) I feel content and happy. I am one hundred percent sure that this is what I want, marrying him. And that everything really does happen for a reason. Universe really listens to my prayer, sending me signs and stuffs. If he proposed to me last October, it might not be this perfect. Good things really does happen to those who wait. =)
I won’t have cold feet or second thought. I might have bad days and we might fight, but I won’t have second thought, I can promise that.
Thank you for being so patience and for making this seven years all about me, sweetie pie. When we ate satay and I requested a song from the old man and he sang The Beatles’ I will, I hope you knew it was truly from my heart to you. =)
I love you. Always have and always will.
Kalistus Mikhael Subandi Cahayaaaaaa, I’m yours!!!!
May, Mrs. Cahaya to be.
P.S Finally I’m gonna have a surname!!! Hahahahah!