The reason why I will never be full again.

I am a dramatic person. I remember the moment I first ran on a running track and the feeling of freedom I felt. It was at Sabuga, Bandung, around 5 pm. I ran and I felt like flying. I loved the feeling how the wind breezed through my hair and my face and how the world moved faster. I fell in love with running instantly. There was only one problem, I couldn’t even finish one lap of running. Yep, the first time I started to run, I couldn’t even finish one lap.

However I ran more often and regularly. The running span increased slowly until I finally ran about 6-8 laps per run. I wasn’t a long distance runner back then in Indonesia because running on a track (or on a treadmill) is quite boring, until I moved to Singapore and started running on the street. Yep, in Singapore you can run ANYWHERE. I am serious, ANYWHERE.

So I planned a running track with Bandi, (Oh I sweear to god I probably will break up with him if he doesn’t love running, because it is a huge deal breaker for me!) from only 5 kilos run until the two digits run, like 12 kilos or 15 kilos. The running track usually ends at the eating place or famous hawker center, because what would you do after a long run if it wasn’t eating, right?

Then we registered for a half marathon (21 kilos run – for those who don’t know what it is) this December and we planned a comprehensive training for the big day. We run every weekend morning and sometimes on weekdays after work. I was so excited preparing for the marathon, I didn’t know too much running can kill me.

I started to feel the pain on my right foot. I let it rest a couple of days, when it felt a little better, I ran again. I kept pushing myself until one morning I couldn’t step my foot on the floor because it was too painful. So I went to Chinese medical practitioner and also western doctor and I even did an x-ray because I was so paranoid about my foot.

Then the saddest thing happen. I can’t run anymore. At least for the next three months. Both the Chinese doctor and the western doctor said the same thing. Yes I was so paranoid about my foot, I asked from two opposite opinions. I did physiotherapy with the Chinese practitioner from my doctor’s recommendation twice every week and the foot got better. They still insisted that I can’t go for my marathon.

It broke my heart. Really.

This sounds so silly but I must finish the marathon, must touch my finish line. Are there a reason why I must finish my marathon? Probably not a specific reason, but I feel like if I finished the marathon, it proves the girl who couldn’t even finish one lap of running that NOTHING is really impossible. I owe that girl the truth.

So, yeah… last Sunday I woke up on 4 am in the morning, brushed my teeth, put on my marathon shirt and went to the starting line at Sentosa. The atmosphere was exciting, deliberating and something new for me.

The flag off was on 6:30 in the morning, and after 4 hours of constant pain, I finally touched the finish line. Let me tell you what I was thinking during the race.

1 km: Exciting! exciting!

2 km: Shit! I wanna pee! (Thank god then I found a toilet nearby)

3 km: Keep on running! So fun!

4 km: Can’t wait to see the finish line!

5 km: Yaiy! Running to Universal Studios! Maybe can take some photos. (yeah I did take photos in front of bumblebee)

6 km: Whoa! There’s a Shrek’s Fairy Godmother cheering on us! So damn cute!

7 km: Ok, let me walk for a while… Afterall this is USS! (yeah, it was fun to see around USS in the morning)

8 km: (I asked Bandi to run ahead and don’t wait up for me)

9 km: Start to run again, more slowly. (Come out from USS) Where’s the H2O stop? Water… water…

10 km: Where’s the medic? I need some muscle ointment…

11 km: Holy Shit! Only half way to go? THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!

12 km: Water… Water… (in this point, I have to run on the highway from Sentosa to Marina Bay, that’s about 4 kilos)

13 km: Shit! I’m so gonna quit the next time I see medic. (I start to walk again)

14 km: Don’t quit now, May! You’ve run this far!!!

15 km: NO WAY I’m gonna make it. I can’t feel my toes!!! MEDIC MEDIC!!!

16 km: Quit or not? Quit or not? There’s a medic! (I approach the medic, not to quit, but only asking for ointment, then I sat for a while)

17 km: I DON’T CARE. I will just walk until the finish line! I CAN’T FEEL MY FEET!!!

18 km: Come on, May! Run a little bit!

19 km: (I was sprawled on the curb of the road somewhere near Raffles. A man sat beside me and said, “OH WHYYY AM I DOING THIS TO MY BODY?”) I laughed, got up, and walked again.


21 km: 100 meters to go!!! I’M FREAKING TOUCHING THE FINISH LINE!



I must blurred out the picture because I printscreened it illegally from the web. I should’ve bought it for $18 but I will use my Europe funds as an excuse of being cheap.

So YEAH I DID IT!!! 21 FREAKING KILOS! And I’m so gonna do it again next year. =)

After the marathon, I went out lunch with friends to the all you can eat BBQ restaurant, and I could never be full. It seemed like after the marathon I turned into a girl who is always hungry. After that I went home, sleeping like dead for four hours and Bandi woke me up to go to movies (because apparently my two insensitive friends bought me a movie tickets knowing that I was tired like hell). I didn’t even bothered to dress up. I went to the movies like this!!!


I wore Bandi’s sweater for sleeping, a pajamas bottom, pair of socks, and put on any shoes I saw. And when I reached the mall, I was looking for some food. I will never be full again.

Maybe this is the reason why I ran… So that I can eat endlessly and I will never be full again!

My feet were so sore I literally couldn’t feel my toes. But anyhow, IT WAS FUN. Participating in the marathon has always been on my to-do list before I die, and now I can cross it. The best part is… I WANNA DO IT AGAIN!

Running hurts. It hurts so good.

Bandi had a lot of fun too and he said he would do 42 kilos next year. Can’t wait to be back on track running again. But right now, let me just sleeeepp………zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

9 thoughts on “The reason why I will never be full again.

  1. Wahahaha
    what a true story
    i was the person right beside you. It was fun and ecstatic. We will do it again next year with another reason to run. The best thing is you were not hurt and we can do it again. Keep training honey. we can do it again next year. THIS TIME IS 42KM. HAHAHAHAHA

  2. It’s fun to read. It’s a real heroic story. About a extremely weird way to revalidate an ailing foot. And about a slightly irresponsible sporting lady who loves wind in her hair. However: admiring congratulations! :)

  3. I really hate running, actually I hate most of cardio exercises, but running is on the top list. even after a year of workout starting with 15 minutes of running, I still feel it likes sapping my life essence. these days I switch to biking and swimming for cardio though.

    you are addicted to running now? cardio exercises triggers dopamine that make us feel relaxed, so dont overwork ;)

  4. Pingback: Excuses why I haven’t updated my Eloise « Sanguine's journal

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