Bulan november yang breath-taking itu finally over. And sometimes I feel I was a loser. Still I am now. a LOSER with capitals. even a L.O.S.E.R. with capitals and dots between.
I was such a strong woman, or at least what I think I am. I’m falling down often, but I always try to get up on the same day. But now… I just whine all day, don’t even feel like getting up from my bed, or getting out from my room. Hanya ingin masuk ke dalam bed cover, dan tiduuuuur yang lama.
Thinking of you is not a new thing for me to do. But insanely missing you would be much harder to me. especially when that damn hormones come up, and I would do ‘impulsive’ things that I will regret later that day.
I know the pattern. But this time is much more pathetic, since I did that once.
I really wish this time I will be much stronger, but I can’t promise you that I won’t do any stupid things. It’s not like I don’t have any control with myself, but missing you without hearing your voice at all, would kill me so damn hard!
I know this is like the hundredth times i give myself a chance that I always I blew off. That’s why I feel like a LOSER with capitals.
I miss you now. I’m gonna miss you tomorrow. Gonna miss you more next week. I’m sorry for counting on you too much.
I’m soooooo hopeless right now. So I guess it’s not relevant to say what I want right now.